Louisiana Highway Department employees stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer.
The man in charge told the farmer, 'We need to inspect your farm for a possible new road.'
The old farmer said, 'OK, but don't get out in that pasture over there.'
The Highway Dept. employee flashed out his identification card andsaid, 'I have the authority of the State of Louisiana to go anywhere I want.See this card? I will go wherever I wish.'
So the old farmer went about his chores.It wasn't too much later when the farmer heard loud screams and yelling.
He looked over and saw several Highway Department employees running for their lives and right behind was the farmer's huge prize bull. The bull was madder than a hornet's nest and was gaining on the Highway employees at every step.
The old farmer yelled out, 'Show him your card, Smart Ass.... Show him your card!

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in south eastern Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into Hacksaw's field on the other side of a fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, Hack drove up in his pickup and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."


But Hack said, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own.

Hack just smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes down here in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the "Three Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?"

Hack replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."

The attorney(standing 6 foot 3 and 240 pounds) quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take Hack. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

Hack slowly climbed outta his truck and walked up to the attorney.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth.

The lawyer was on all fours when Hack's third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, Now it's my turn."

But Hack just smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the stupid duck."

While cleaning my shed, I came upon my collection of Cabela's Special Edition hardcover catalogs, I think, I have the complete set that they had issued. I have two issues for each year from 2004 until the year 2014. The first three issues have been opened, the last 17 issues are still in their shipping containers and have never been opened. I went on eBay and the asking price of a single edition would be from $4.00 to $10.00. Some people have lot prices of 4 - 8 copies, for $25.00 - $50.00. No one had the complete set like I have. The shipping and handling price was all over the place. The shipping of them would be horrendous. Should I do like my buddy did and take them to the recycling center, or try to sell them? I'm thinking I will try to sell them on Craigslist and the buyer can come and pick them up, but I don't live in a very heavily populated area. Your thoughts, please.

I'm with you Ronnie. Complainers get one trip apiece. Even my wife knows not to complain about anything if she every wants to go again. I don't go fishing or hunting to listen to people having a bad time. It's what you decide to make of it. I've had three guys from the stage come hunting with me here in Idaho. Two of them got elk and one didn't. One went fishing a little and we didn't catch anything but I think we had a fun time. One guy that got a bull elk was worn plum out but he had a blast. The other guy brought his son and they both had bull elk tags. We got one nice bull and spent a week sight seeing and they loved the trip. These guys are all welcome back🤙