Thanks, J ! It's always nice to see support from my friends and fellow Stage members ! If they let me back onto the other sections - fine ! But
will not be jumping through
anyone's hoops to get there !

Been there - done that ! Ended up
with severe case of foot-in-mouth !

Probably applies to most of us
at one point or another in our
lives - fortunately, I smartened
up early from taking my grand-
father's sage advice !

"Don't just learn from YOUR
mistakes ! Keep your eyes and
ears open, pay attention, and try
to learn from OTHERS' mistakes
as well, so that you don't repeat THEIRS !"

That may have not only saved me from serious injury a time or two,
but may have actually saved my
life on more than one occasion !

Don't know ! I think they just wanted
to settle the 'paternity' issue !

DNA ? Are we talking genetics,
here, or is that just short for
'Do Not Ask' ?

Reason I'm so familiar with that
one is that I've screwed up a time
or two (or three, or more) in that department, which brings up
another appropriate adage, resulting from screwing up on this one -

"Open mouth, insert feet, chew vigorously to kneecap !"

Cute story -

Along the edge of a forest glade,
a beech and a birch tree grew up
about fifty yards apart and became good friends ! One spring (when
they were both mature trees), they notice a young sapling sprouting
about halfway between them, and
both try to claim 'fatherhood' !

Well, an argument ensues, and with their friendship at stake they decide
to find someone to settle it ! In a little while, they spot a woodpecker nearby and ask him to intervene -

The birch tree hollers out to him -
"Hey, Woody ! Could you settle an
argument for us ?"

Woodpecker replies - "Sure, guys ! What do you need me to do ?"

Beech tree tells him - " I say that
little sapling between us is my son, and he claims it's his ! Could you maybe get a small taste and let us know whether he's a beech or
a birch ?"

"Sure ! No problem !"

When he comes back, they both
want to know who's 'son' it is - the beech or the birch ? -

"Neither ! That's the sweetest
piece of ash I've ever stuck my
pecker into !"

According to my dad, what he
called a "Honeymoon Sandwich"
was just 'lettuce alone' !

A young 'fairy' goes to his doctor
for a physical - after the prelimina-
ries (temperature/blood pressure, etc.), the Doc tells him he's getting
a rectal exam, so he needs to drop
his drawers and bend over, which
he does ! As he's putting the gloves
on, the Doc glances down and
notices something protruding from the guy's butt - upon closer examina-tion, he tells the guy -

"Hey, Mack ! What's with this lettuce sticking out of your butt ?"

"I've got news for you, Doc ! That's
just the tip of the 'iceberg' !"

Here's another to add to that list -

"Make sure brain is engaged
before putting mouth in gear !"

I just tell those A-holes that won't
quit to keep calling so that my tech buddy can trace the call and track them down, after which some really mean, ugly bastard (myself) will show up in their office with a 4-foot-long machete and a sawed-off, double-
barrelled 12-gauge to wreak havoc
by gutting, skinning and decapitating their whole crew and crapping down their necks when he's done ! Funny, the calls have diminished to a dozen calls per week instead of per day !

Curious, RJ ! Didn't know they had degrees for stupid or that you had
to learn it ! Always thought it was
a genetic defect, hence the 'Darwin Awards' for so many of them doing
us the favor of removing themselves from the gene pool !

The scary part is that they (especially politicians) have just enough brains
to flock together (like birds of a feather, and likewise pigs and swine) ! Unfortunately, when enough of them do, that's when they create all these problems for the rest of us !

And YES ! Biden's stupidity can (and should) be construed as 'giving aid and assistance to the enemy' !

Got that right ! I want to talk to someone who speaks MY native language PROPERLY, without any foreign accents so that I can understand what the hell gibberish they're talking about and respond
to it 'properly' !

About 80% of my spam calls are
from N.H. as I still have my old number, and the rest are from
all over the country ! Sometimes
I forget to shut my phone off and
put it on the charger before bed, so I've been wakened several times as early as 6:30 AM (I seldom get up
before 8:30 unless I'm going fishing) ! You KNOW those A-holes are going
to get an earful of crap if I get up to answer it ! Now, as soon as I've hung up, I BLOCK that number and delete
it - it doesn't stop them completely, but I do get less calls !

The i***ts with the 'car warranties' (that I never signed up for) or the
'school loans' (that I never had) are the most frequent and the most annoying, so they get the harshest verbal treatment imaginable ! It
would probably turn a longshore-man's ears beet red !

I think we should find a way to produce electricity from manure !
That way, we could get all these
manure-producing/shoveling/ spreading politicians to work
on something constructive for
a change, by shoveling their manure
for the production of electricity !
We would never run out of power again, as we all know that politicians are FULL of it !

You're right, Frank ! I almost did
forget ! But then, I've been retired
for ten years ! All three (snow/wife/ work) are now just minuscule, near-microscopic dots, far-distant in the rear-view mirror, never to be seen
(or bothered by) again !

So, then ! This isn't you, but your doppelganger ? I LIKE the attitude !

Yep ! The whole southwest is
hurting for rain - this drought goes back aways - pretty sure it started around the late-90s/early 2000s !

Several states, ARIZONA/NEVADA/ CALIFORNIA are looking at real problems soon if things don't
improve !

Lake Mead is over 135 feet below normal, Lake Powell is also at an
all-time low since it was first filled ! There's actually serious talk about water restrictions for the Colorado River for all three states !

Not the first time for long-term droughts in the southwest - historically, some droughts have lasted fifty years or more and have taken decades more to recover !