Do you think I would accuse wulffy of somethin he din't do????

thanks do--er tong

obviously

Wulffy wandered into an all-girl biker bar by mistake, finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, " Hey, you wanna hear a blond joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to wulffy says, "Before you tell that joke, I think it is only fair, that I tell you that you should know five important things:
1. The bartender is a blond girl who's holding a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blond girl with a billy-club.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blond woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blond and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blond and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, . Do you still wanna tell that blond joke?"

Wulffy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,
"Well hell no, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times!

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. -Phyllis Diller

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? -Phyllis Diller

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing. -Phyllis Diller

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.-Phyllis Diller

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out. -Phyllis Diller

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. -Phyllis Diller

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them. -Phyllis Diller

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. -Phyllis Diller

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed. -Phyllis Diller

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up -Phyllis Diller

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room. -Phyllis Diller

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. -Phyllis Diller

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. -Phyllis Diller

His finest hour lasted a minute and a half. -Phyllis Diller

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. -Phyllis Diller

My photographs don't do me justice -they just look like me. -Phyllis Diller

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away. -Phyllis Diller

Tranquillizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children. -Phyllis Diller

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.' -Phyllis Diller

The reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing. -Phyllis Diller

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type. -Phyllis Diller


She was one very funny woman. This world misses her!

1. "Weekendhooker went to Goa in India on holiday, She was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. She don't like spicy food."
2. Spirit's wife complained,they should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax."
3. "Fourchon and his wife went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all speaking Spanish."
4. "Yankeeblue and the Mrs booked an excursion to a water park, but no-one told them had to bring their own swimsuits and towels. they assumed it would be included in the price."
5.Audigger complained "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room."
6.OJ complained the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. the brochure showed the sand as white, but it was more yellow."
7.Katrinagirl complained "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to siesta in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time -- this should be banned."
8.Bottomcoon "No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared."
9.Whitey, "Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers."
10.Betts, "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."
11.Dbed "The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun"
12.Fudpucker "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to California. It took the Texans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair."
13.Barnacle, "I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller."

15.Plum and Juice "When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners."
16.Saw, "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning."
17.Ghanes, "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."
18.Iowafarmer "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes."


and lastly---


1 9.Greywolf, "My girl friend and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you all responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that she became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

wish I could help OJ
but it's prolly hopeless

bet Kandy ain't fraid Four

even the bill collectors???

you gonna ruin my reputation
callin me nice smitty

just wait til the deer has the rifle Pix

sorry troy
some days it don't pay to get outta bed

Well Do---er Tong
glad you got your wallet back
and don't worry bout that forgetfulness


it gets worse

sorry Fred but methinks you shouldn't show it to your wife

luv them tires