ranger632 wrote:
This guy needs to go fishing more often
632: Guess that's one way to get a buzz...
plumbob wrote:
" My First Time "
It was my first time and I will never forget it,
I' do it again without a single regret.
The sky was Dark The Moon was high,
We were all alone just she and I.
Her hair was soft and her eyes were brown,
I knew just what she wanted to do.
Her skin so soft her legs so fine,
I ran my fingers down her spine.
I didn't know how but I tried my best,
I started by placing my hands on her breast.
I remember my fear by my fast beating heart,
But slowly she spread her legs apart.
And when I did I felt no shame,
All at once the white stuff came.
At last it's finished It's all over now,
My first time ever at milking a cow.
GOTCHA NOW ALL YOU DIRTY MINDS GO SAY 3 HAIL MARY'S
" My First Time " br br It was my first... (
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Mistah Bob: My gramma told me "Cream and bastards rise to the top". That being said, I pertnear creamed my jeans 'til I got to the end of yer pome. Nice work!
Gmchief wrote:
#19. Cole’s Law - Finely shredded cabbage, some carrots, mayonnaise, maybe a dash of horseradish 😁
Chief: Thanks, I just blew lukewarm coffee though my nose!
Jarheadfishnfool wrote:
Must have been at the Tenderloin section ,,,, 😁👍
Nope, Pork Butt... Just Sayin'
Mr. Lattie: Head in to town (Port Orford). If you find the cafe (it'll be the only one open in the early hours) ask the waitress or one of the mossbacks eatin' there what they use for bait/lure. If you're lucky, and have the gift of gab, you just might go home with a mess o' fish! Tight lines.
Mr. Romero: It's OK to laugh. It was/is funny. Kip Adotta said it best. It's OK to laugh at someone elses pain, as long as it isn't permanent, and it hurts a lot. Another of my favorites, Never apologize, It's a sign of weakness: John Wayne.
Frank romero wrote:
Tried chocolate covered ants once not bad
Mr. Romero: While a teenager, I ended staying with relatives in the LA area. Never having been exposed to smog (I grew up in the sticks/boondocks of Southwestern Oregon with 180 inches of liquid sunshine per year), I developed a film of sorts overnight, which coated my eyeballs 'til I washed my face in the morning. My aunt had made some excellent brownies for dinner that night. I ate 1 after dinner, and palmed one for a midnight snack. Had already taken a huge bite from the purloined brownie, and set it on the nightstand next to my bed. Woke up the next morning anticipating a big bite of chocolatey goodness. My blurry half open eyes perceived the morsel in the semi-darkness. I reached over, grabbed the brownie, and stuffed half of it in my pie-hole. Not knowing what was happening, I continued to munch on the brownie. I soon realized I was not the only one who loved my aunts brownies. My whole face felt like it was moving! Then it felt like it was on fire! ANTS! They completely covered my face, and halfway up my armpit, biting the living crap out of me! I did the only thing left open to me, and swallowed the 2 bites already in my mouth. Then I slapped myself silly, smashing the rest of the little buggers all over my face. That was 1 damn good brownie, but those ants put a permanent impression on me. NO MORE midnight snacks!
Fish: Please substitute Bassackwards for discombobulated. Sorry 'bout dat.
Fishandrods wrote:
That will go over like a turd in a punch bowl. That will go over like a pregnet nun.
Fish: How do you get a nun pregnit? Jes' bend 'er over an' do 'er like an altar boy! He'll be 'bout as happy as a clam at high tide. It was a formal weddin', her pa painted the shotgun white. The piece o' a** he ever had was a stumpbroke mule. Right 'round Halloween all they did was pump kin. You couldn't get laid in a 2 dollar whorehouse with a 10 dollar bill. Go figger ...
saw1 wrote:
Hotter than a 2 dollar pistol.
Hotter than a 2 peckered Billy goat.
Slicker than greased owl s#!t.
Slicker than snot on a doorknob.
It colder than a 3 dog night.
Colder than a well diggers butt in Montana.
Colder than a witches t!t in a brass bra.
Colder than a cast iron commode in the Yukon.
Independent as a hog on ice.
That's as rare as hens teeth.
If that don't beat a hen a crowin.
He don't know $#!t from Shinola.
Go piss up a rope.
Easy as herding cats.
Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rockin chairs.
Easy as shootin fish in a barrel.
Don't take any wooden nickels.
Eatin high on the hog.
Shut the door, you born in a barn?
You ain't just whistling Dixie.
Killin 2 birds with 1 stone.
They'll put you so far in jail they'll be feedin you beans with a slingshot.
She/he could eat corn on the cob through a picket fence.
So ugly they fell out of the ugly tree and hit ever branch on the way down.
I swear, you'd complain if you was hung with a new rope.
It's rainin cats and dogs.
It's rainnin so hard, like a cow pissin on a flat rock.
I better stop now. That just a few I grew up with back in Texas.
Hotter than a 2 dollar pistol. br Hotter than a 2 ... (
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Saw: I forgot: 'bout as nervous as a whore in church, dumbern' 9 chickens (overheard in Petaluma), you kin lead a horticulture but she'll still drink whisky outta a boot. Go figger...
plumbob wrote:
Bog, try the oldtimecandy.com web site. I saw a few choices on there when i typed it in the search feature.
Mr. Bob: Thanks. A couple others I remember: Bit O' Honey, Malomar, Big Hunk, Charleston Chew, Black Cow, Pix Stix, Zotz. Kinda nice to try to put the flavor with the packaging. Does funny things to my head. Like the song that went with the chewing gum. Does the Spearmint lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?
Robert J Samples wrote:
Speaking of candies, my BIL lived in Decatur and worked in a grocery part-time stocking shelves.
Sometime during his early career, the grocer bought a 'knock-off' of the Baby Ruth candy bar. This substitute was packaged in a clear cellophane wrapper.
If you remember what a Baby Ruth bar looked like, this is what happened in the grocery where Ken worked.
A young boy and his mother from the country were shopping and when they came to this pseudo Baby Ruth display, the country boy said, "look, Momma, they are selling turds!" Just Sayin...RJS
Speaking of candies, my BIL lived in Decatur and w... (
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Mr. Samples: Had a similar experience when my father introduced me to horehound hard candy. Got the back of my head smacked after asking him why they had their own doggy. I guess I'm one of the few people who still like that flavor of candy. Just can't seem to find it anywhere. Just yakkin'... (on a bone)
Grizzly 17 wrote:
Goggle eyes in dolls. Social media is far from Social. People are so easily influenced. I don't do fb tic tok or anything but here. 👍🎣
OK Griz: Don't forget about Barney Google with the goo, goo, googly eyes. Just yakkin'... (on a bone)
Mr. Haynes: It's nice to be back. I've never owned a knucklehead. I've still got my blockhead, panhead, flathead, and golfcart though. My latest acquisition is a VW engined BMW. I have quite a ways to go before it's on the road, but rest assured, it'll happen. Rubber side down, and tween the ditches. Out
Mr. Haynes: Almost fell off the couch! I have NEVER been referred to as genius-level anything by anyone. I have a deep dislike of Mensa Society dweebs, having had to "deal" with one while trying to explain what I would have to do to repair his "automobile" (his words, not mine). He had a "handler" with him who was laughing her ass of at my lame attempts to accomplish this task. As for the reference to miscreants, I was referring to my ill-spent youth, and the cadre of hooligans who hung out in my neck of the woods. I do respect you for your obvious intellect, and upbringing. Anyone who even knows what a Mensa is has far more on the ball than I. You and all the rest of the FS forum have kept me entertained, and reeducated, ever since I found this site. Keep yer matches and yer powder dry.