On July 20th, 1969, as commander of the Apollo 11 lunar module, Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the moon.


His first words after stepping on the moon, "that's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind," were heard by millions of people around the world.

But just before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark: "good luck, Mr. Gorsky."

Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet cosmonaut.

However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.

Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the "good luck, Mr. Gorsky” statement meant, but he just brushed them off by smiling.

-


On July 5th, 1995, in Tampa Bay, Florida, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26-year-old question. That time, he finally responded.



Mr. Gorsky had died, so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.

In 1938, when he was a kid in a small Midwestern town, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard.

His friend hit the ball, which landed in his neighbor's yard by the bedroom windows.

His neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky.
he heard Mrs Gorsky say

"Sex?Sex?
you want sex?
you will get sex when the kid next door walks on the moon"

our story begins a few years back.
when Fourchon was a part time attendant at a garage

A man and his wife were driving through the country on his way from Florida to California.


Looking at his fuel gauge, he decided to stop at the next gasoline station and fill it up. About 15 minutes later, he spots a Mobil station and pulls over to the high octane pump.





"What can I do for y'all?" asks Four. "Fill 'er up with high test," replies the driver. While Four is filling up the tank, he's looking the car up and down.

"What kinda car is this?" he asks. "I never seen one like it before."

"Well," responds the driver, his chest swelling up with pride, "This, my boy is a 1949 Cadillac DeVille."

"What features does it have?" asks Four

"Well," says the driver, "It has everything. It's loaded with power steering, power seats, power sun roof, power mirrors, AM/FM radio with a 10 deck CD player in the trunk with 100 watts per channel, 8 speaker stereo, rack and pinion steering, disk brakes all around, leather interior, digital instrument package, and best of all, an 8.8 liter V12 engine."

-


"Wow," saysFour, "That's really something!"(Fours parents didn't let him out very much)

"How much do I owe you for the gasoline?" asks the driver.

"That'll be $30.17," saysFour

The driver pulls out his money clip and peels off a $20 and a $10. He goes into his other pocket and pulls out a handful of change. Mixed up with the change are a few golf tees.

"What are those little wooden things?" asks Four.

"That's what I put my balls on when I drive," says the driver.

"Wow," says Four, "Those Cadillac people think of everything!"

we must not be hard on Fourchon folks
he cain't help it that he is in sout Loosiana

Two Nuns were ordered to paint the community room in the Nunnery
they were admonished by Mother Superior to take extreme care not to get paint on their habits
the Nuns decided that in order to keep their habits clean
that they would just shed their clothes and paint naked
so they locked all the doors and commenced painting
then there was a knock on the door
"Who is it?" one Nun asked
"Blind man" came the answer
The nuns figured if the man was blind,it would be no big deal to let him in.So they did
When the man entered the room he stared at the Nuns and said
"Nice boobs,now where do you want these blinds?"

An elderly priest, speaking to a younger priest, said: "It was a good idea to replace the first four pews with plush bucket theater seats. It worked like a charm. The front of the church always fills first now."



The young priest nodded, and the old priest continued: "And you told me that adding a little more beat to the music would bring young people back to church, so I supported you when you brought in that rock 'n' roll gospel choir.



"Now our services are consistently packed to the balcony."






"Thank you, father," answered the young priest. "I am pleased that you are open to the new ideas of youth."

"All of these ideas have been well and good," said the elderly priest. "But I'm afraid you've gone too far with the drive-thru confessional."

"But, father," protested the young priest, "my confessions and the donations have nearly doubled since I began that!"

"Yes," replied the elderly priest, "and I appreciate that. But that flashing neon sign, Toot 'n' Tell or Go to Hell cannot stay on the church roof.â

NEED WASHING

A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Wal-Mart. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence.

It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout.. We all stood there, under the awning, just inside the door of the Wal-Mart....
We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day.

I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.

Her little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in, 'Mom let's run through the rain,'
She said.
'What?' Mom asked.
'Let's run through the rain!' She repeated.

'No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit,' Mom replied.

This young child waited a minute and repeated: 'Mom, let's run through the rain..'

'We'll get soaked if we do,' Mom said.

'No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning,' the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.

'This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?'

'Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, ' If God can get us through this, He can get us through anything! ' '

The entire crowd stopped dead silent.. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain.. We all stood silently. No one left. Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say.

Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.

'Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If GOD let's us get wet, well maybe we just need washing,' Mom said.

Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They got soaked.

They were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars. And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.

Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories...So, don't forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories every day.

To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.
I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

bahmer was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a palm reader's table.


The mysterious woman said: "For fifteen dollars, I can read your love line and tell your romantic future."

bahmer readily agreed and the reader took one look at his open palm and said: "I can see that you have no girlfriend."

"That's true," said bahmer


"Oh my goodness, you are extremely lonely, aren't you?"

"Yes,"bahmer shamefully admitted. "That's amazing. Can you tell all of this from my love line?"

"Love line? No, from the calluses and blisters."

Our story begins with a young man who's in the market for a used motorcycle. He's shopping around, answering ads in the newspaper, and not having much luck.


One day, he comes across a beautiful, classic Harley with a "for sale" sign on it. Upon inspection, he is delighted to find the bike in mint condition. He enquires about it with the owner: "This bike is beautiful!! I'll take it. But you have to tell me how you keep it in such good shape!"





"Well," says the seller, "it's pretty simple. Just make sure that if the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain. In fact, since you're buying the bike I won't need my tube of Vaseline anymore. Here, you can have it." and he hands the buyer a tube of Vaseline.

So our hero buys the bike and off he goes! He takes the bike over to show his girlfriend. She's ecstatic (being a Harley fan herself). That night, he decides to ride the bike over to his girlfriend's parents’ house. See, it was the first time he was going to meet them and figured it would make a big impression. When the couple gets to the house, the girlfriend grabs her boyfriend's arm.

"Sweetie," she says," I have to tell you something about my parents before we go in. It's really embarrassing but it's a family tradition. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."

"No problem," he says with a smile. "Sounds like fun". And in they go. The boyfriend is astounded. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In fact, the entire house is littered with piles of them. This thing was no joke!



They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, our hero gets more and more bored. To spice things up, he decides to test the limits of this game this family plays. He reaches over, grabs his girlfriend, undresses her, and proceeds to make love to her on the dinner table.

While that is going on, he thinks: "her mother must have had her as a teen, she's gorgeous...", so he grabs his girlfriend's mother and proceeds to make love to HER on that same dinner table,
But still, no one says a word.
A thunder sounds and heavy rain begins to fall. The ardent boyfriend panics, his perfect Harley! He lets go of the mother and as he pulls the Vaseline from his pocket, the father stands up and shouts: “ALRIGHT! I'll do the bloody dishes!”

A woman was driving through the countryside late at night when her car broke down. About a mile down the road, she came to an old farmhouse.
BF and Oz came out

"Can we help ya, miss?"Asked Oz

"Yes, my car broke down about a mile back. Could you drive me to the nearest town so I can get a tow truck?"

"The town’s all shut up right now, but we can take you in the morning. You can spend the night with us.”answered BF

The woman thought: "Well, I really don't have a choice. Besides, I can handle myself." So she agreed.

“You know, miss, we’ve only got one bed in this house, so you’ll have to sleep with us…”said Oz

The woman thought to herself that she liked the look of these guys, and consented to sleep with them.

As they were taking their clothes off, the woman said, "By the way, you DO have protection, don't you?"



"Protection? What's that?"asked BF

"You know, condoms."she said

"Well, what're they for?" queried Oz

"It's so I don't get pregnant."

"We're simplefarmers, miss. I’m afraid we don't know about those things."said BF

"Well, it just so happens that I have two here in my purse. Here, put them on."

"Hmm... well, alright," they said.



The three of them got into bed . The next morning, Oz and BF drove the woman into town, where she got her car repaired and drove off.

About a month later, the two were sitting out on their porch watching the sun set, whenOz said, "Hey, do you remember that lady that drove through here about a month ago?"

"Yep. She was real good, wasn't she?"answered BF

"Yep.”Oz opined

Say, do you care if she gets pregnant?"asked BF

"Nope."

"Well, then, let's take these darn things off!"

Through the ages, men have been trying to unlock this mystery:

Why do their wives, who accept them just as they are before they get
married, begin the quest to change their behaviour and life-style once their
vows are exchanged?

Finally, the riddle is solved.

A social-scientist has arrived at this simple and logical explanation.

When plumjuice, accompanied by her father, started to walk slowly down the
long aisle, she saw the altar at the end and heard the choir singing a
hymn. Walking down the aisle, the conditioning process started where the
brain absorbed these three stimuli:

Aisle, altar, and hymn.

She became mesmerized as she continually reinforced these perceptions:

Aisle, altar, hymn......Aisle, altar, hymn.....Aisle, altar, hymn.

Finally, as plumjuice stopped beside plumbob,the groom, the conditioning process was
complete. She looked up at him smiling sweetly and kept saying to herself:

'I'll alter him!'

now you know what is different about plum

Dear Ma and Pa,


I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.


Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water.

Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on 'route marches,' which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A 'route march' is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.





Your loving daughter,
Alice-------------------OOORAHHH!!!

Four and his buddyBF were known around town as a little less than clever, when they weren't drunk, that is. One day, digging a ditch, while their foreman(badbobby) sits on a lawn chair in the shade, drinking lemonade. It's a hot day, and Four starts wondering why bb
isn't doing any of the work.


"Hey BF?" he asks. "How come we're down here digging the ditch, and bb's up there, drinking lemonade in the shade?" "Dunno..."BF replies, and they go back to digging.

After a while, Four decides he needs to know. "I'm gonna go ask him." He climbs up out of the ditch and goes over to bb "Hey boss? How come me an' BF are down there diggin' the ditch, and you're up here drinkin' lemonade?"

bb looks at Four, and says "Well... because I have intelligence, and you don't."

Four scratches his head for a moment, then asks, "What's intelligence?" bb considers this, and says "Well, let me give you some." He holds his hand up in front of the trunk of a big oak. "Hit my hand as hard as you can."

Four shrugs, rears back, and swings. At the last moment, bb pulls his hand out of the way, and Four punches the tree instead. "What'd you do that for?!?" he cries.

bb smiles. "I just gave you some intelligence."Four heads back into the ditch, considering this.

After a while, BF asks him, "So what did he say?" Four says, slowly, "He says it's because he has a lot of intelligence... and I have a little bit of intelligence... and you don't have any intelligence at all."BF asks, "What's intelligence?"



Four replies, "I'm not really sure, but he gave me some, and I'm gonna give some to you." Four holds his hand up in front of his face. "Hit my hand as hard as you can..."

A policeman was interrogating kandydisbar,FishLady and KatrinaGirlwho were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows Katrina a picture for 5 seconds, then hides it.


"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

Katrina answers: "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"

The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his PROFILE.



Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at FishLady and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
FishLadyResponds--easy he has only one ear
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"

Extremely frustrated by this point, he shows the picture to kandy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

He quickly adds "...think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

kandy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "Hmmmm...the suspect wears contact lenses."

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.

"Well, that's an interesting answer...wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it - it's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy," kandy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear!"


forgive me ladies
the BadFisherman made me do it