Billy and Evangeline were in a terrible car accident, and her face was terribly burned, she needed a skin graph and the doctor could not take some of her skin because it was to thin, so Billy volunteered, the only skin The doctor could use was the skin of his Hind end, So after making the doctor swear to secrecy they did the operation, and it was a success and she came out more beautiful than she had ever been before, All of her friends were jealous, and when she thanked Billy, he said, "I get more Thanks than I need everytime you mother Kisses you."

1. Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

2. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

3. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

4. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.

5. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

6. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

7. Was learning to write in cursive really necessary?

8. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

9. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

10. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

11. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

12. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

13. Bad decisions make good stories.

14. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

15. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

16. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring, but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

17. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

18. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

19. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

Margarine was originally manufactured to fatten turkeys. When it killed the turkeys, the people who had put all the money into the research wanted a payback so they put their heads together to figure out what to do with this product to get their money back.

It was a white substance with no food appeal so they added the yellow coloring and sold it to people to use in place of butter. How do you like it? They have come out with some clever new flavorings....

DO YOU KNOW.. The difference between margarine and butter?

Read on to the end...gets very interesting!

Both have the same amount of calories.

Butter is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8 grams; compared to 5 grams for margarine.

Eating margarine can increase heart disease in women by 53% over eating the same amount of butter, according to a recent Harvard Medical Study.

Eating butter increases the absorption of many other nutrients in other foods.

Butter has many nutritional benefits where margarine has a few and only because they are added!

Butter tastes much better than margarine and it can enhance the flavors of other foods.

Butter has been around for centuries where margarine has been around for less than 100 years .

And now, for Margarine..

Very High in Trans fatty acids.

Triples risk of coronary heart disease ...

Increases total cholesterol and LDL (this is the bad cholesterol) and lowers HDL cholesterol, (the good cholesterol)

Increases the risk of cancers up to five times..

Lowers quality of breast milk

Decreases immune response.

Decreases insulin response.

And here's the most disturbing fact... HERE IS THE PART THAT IS VERY INTERESTING!

Margarine is but ONE MOLECULE away from being PLASTIC... and shares 27 ingredients with PAINT.

These facts alone were enough to have me avoiding margarine for life and anything else that is hydrogenated (this means hydrogen is added, changing the molecular structure of the substance).

Open a tub of margarine and leave it open in your garage or shaded area. Within a couple of days you will notice a couple of things:

* no flies, not even those pesky fruit flies will go near it (that should tell you something)

* it does not rot or smell differently because it has no nutritional value ; nothing will grow on it. Even those teeny weeny microorganisms will not a find a home to grow.

Why? Because it is nearly plastic . Would you melt your Tupperware and spread that on your toast?

Share This With Your Friends.....(If you want to butter them up')!

Chinese Proverb:
When someone shares something of value with you and you benefit from it, you have a moral obligation to share it with others.

Pass the BUTTER PLEASE