Old Fishin Jokes
Feb 14, 2021 14:38:56 #
Big A wrote:
Don't know about losing all common sense, but here's a
quote by Jack Nicholson (as Melvin Udall in 'As Good As It Gets'); when asked by a (female)
reporter - 'How do you write
women so well ?' - his response was - "I think of a man, then I take away reason and accountability"!
quote by Jack Nicholson (as Melvin Udall in 'As Good As It Gets'); when asked by a (female)
reporter - 'How do you write
women so well ?' - his response was - "I think of a man, then I take away reason and accountability"!
Big A.... that sounds reasonable.
Feb 14, 2021 14:56:54 #
Able Man
Loc: North Coast (Cleveland, Ohio)
Big A wrote:
Don't know about losing all common sense, but here's a
quote by Jack Nicholson (as Melvin Udall in 'As Good As It Gets'); when asked by a (female)
reporter - 'How do you write
women so well ?' - his response was - "I think of a man, then I take away reason and accountability"!
quote by Jack Nicholson (as Melvin Udall in 'As Good As It Gets'); when asked by a (female)
reporter - 'How do you write
women so well ?' - his response was - "I think of a man, then I take away reason and accountability"!
That seems about RIGHT!
Feb 14, 2021 16:09:37 #
Feb 14, 2021 19:54:55 #
[quote=hacksaw]While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,”Are there any gators around here?!” “Naw,” the man hollered back, “they ain’t been around for years!” Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy,”How’d you get rid of the gators?” “We didn’t do nothin’,” the beachcomber said. “The sharks got ’em.”
Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid. The mermaid offered them one wish each. The first fisherman said, “Double my I.Q” so the mermaid did it and to his surprise, he started reciting Shakespeare. Then the second fisherman said, “Triple my I.Q.” and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn’t know existed. The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his I.Q and the mermaid said “Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!” The fisherman said “yes” so the mermaid turned him into a woman.
One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice from above said, “There are no fish down there.” He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, “There’s no fish down there.” He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, “There’s no fish down there.” He looked up into the sky and asked, “God, is that you?” “No, you idiot,” the voice said, “it’s the rink manager.”
Two guys are talking about fishing. One says to the other, “I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, ever again!” “That bad, huh,” his friend responded. “She did everything wrong! She talked too much, made the boat rock constantly, tried to stand up in the boat, baited the hook wrong, used the wrong lures and WORST of all she caught more fish than me!”
The little kid sat on the side of the road with a fishing line down the drain. Feeling sorry for him, and wanting to humor him, a lady gave him 50 cents, and kindly asked “How many have you caught?” “You’re the tenth this morning,” was the reply.
Hack 🇺🇸🍺🍺[/quot
gooduns Hack
Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid. The mermaid offered them one wish each. The first fisherman said, “Double my I.Q” so the mermaid did it and to his surprise, he started reciting Shakespeare. Then the second fisherman said, “Triple my I.Q.” and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn’t know existed. The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his I.Q and the mermaid said “Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!” The fisherman said “yes” so the mermaid turned him into a woman.
One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice from above said, “There are no fish down there.” He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, “There’s no fish down there.” He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, “There’s no fish down there.” He looked up into the sky and asked, “God, is that you?” “No, you idiot,” the voice said, “it’s the rink manager.”
Two guys are talking about fishing. One says to the other, “I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, ever again!” “That bad, huh,” his friend responded. “She did everything wrong! She talked too much, made the boat rock constantly, tried to stand up in the boat, baited the hook wrong, used the wrong lures and WORST of all she caught more fish than me!”
The little kid sat on the side of the road with a fishing line down the drain. Feeling sorry for him, and wanting to humor him, a lady gave him 50 cents, and kindly asked “How many have you caught?” “You’re the tenth this morning,” was the reply.
Hack 🇺🇸🍺🍺[/quot
gooduns Hack
Feb 15, 2021 00:59:27 #
Graveytrain50
Loc: DFW Area Texas
[quote=badbobby][quote=hacksaw]While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,”Are there any gators around here?!” “Naw,” the man hollered back, “they ain’t been around for years!” Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy,”How’d you get rid of the gators?” “We didn’t do nothin’,” the beachcomber said. “The sharks got ’em.”
Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid. The mermaid offered them one wish each. The first fisherman said, “Double my I.Q” so the mermaid did it and to his surprise, he started reciting Shakespeare. Then the second fisherman said, “Triple my I.Q.” and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn’t know existed. The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his I.Q and the mermaid said “Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!” The fisherman said “yes” so the mermaid turned him into a woman.
One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice from above said, “There are no fish down there.” He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, “There’s no fish down there.” He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, “There’s no fish down there.” He looked up into the sky and asked, “God, is that you?” “No, you idiot,” the voice said, “it’s the rink manager.”
Two guys are talking about fishing. One says to the other, “I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, ever again!” “That bad, huh,” his friend responded. “She did everything wrong! She talked too much, made the boat rock constantly, tried to stand up in the boat, baited the hook wrong, used the wrong lures and WORST of all she caught more fish than me!”
The little kid sat on the side of the road with a fishing line down the drain. Feeling sorry for him, and wanting to humor him, a lady gave him 50 cents, and kindly asked “How many have you caught?” “You’re the tenth this morning,” was the reply.
Hack 🇺🇸🍺🍺[/quot
gooduns Hack
[/quote]
Great jokes. The one about taking the wife fishing I like the best.
Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid. The mermaid offered them one wish each. The first fisherman said, “Double my I.Q” so the mermaid did it and to his surprise, he started reciting Shakespeare. Then the second fisherman said, “Triple my I.Q.” and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn’t know existed. The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his I.Q and the mermaid said “Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!” The fisherman said “yes” so the mermaid turned him into a woman.
One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice from above said, “There are no fish down there.” He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, “There’s no fish down there.” He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, “There’s no fish down there.” He looked up into the sky and asked, “God, is that you?” “No, you idiot,” the voice said, “it’s the rink manager.”
Two guys are talking about fishing. One says to the other, “I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, ever again!” “That bad, huh,” his friend responded. “She did everything wrong! She talked too much, made the boat rock constantly, tried to stand up in the boat, baited the hook wrong, used the wrong lures and WORST of all she caught more fish than me!”
The little kid sat on the side of the road with a fishing line down the drain. Feeling sorry for him, and wanting to humor him, a lady gave him 50 cents, and kindly asked “How many have you caught?” “You’re the tenth this morning,” was the reply.
Hack 🇺🇸🍺🍺[/quot
gooduns Hack
[/quote]Great jokes. The one about taking the wife fishing I like the best.
Feb 15, 2021 18:50:43 #
D Ryb
Loc: sharon CT
A polish man is ice fishing casting his lure on the ice again and again after a while he’s about to give up thinking the whole idea of ice fishing is stupid an Italian comes by on a snowmobile,and says thats not how you ice fish get on the back and we’ll troll
Feb 15, 2021 19:00:30 #
BadFisherman
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
hacksaw wrote:
While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tour... (show quote)
Back in the day, I was that little kid on the side of the road, with a fishing line down the drain.
Feb 17, 2021 17:20:26 #
D Ryb wrote:
A polish man is ice fishing casting his lure on the ice again and again after a while he’s about to give up thinking the whole idea of ice fishing is stupid an Italian comes by on a snowmobile,and says thats not how you ice fish get on the back and we’ll troll
that had to be BadFisherman
everybody else has more sense
Feb 17, 2021 17:21:44 #
BadFisherman wrote:
Back in the day, I was that little kid on the side of the road, with a fishing line down the drain.
yeah
and next you will be tellin us you caught something
Feb 17, 2021 18:47:42 #
Feb 17, 2021 19:15:47 #
Graveytrain50
Loc: DFW Area Texas
badbobby wrote:
that had to be BadFisherman
everybody else has more sense
everybody else has more sense
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