I Don't Golf
Jan 17, 2020 20:41:07 #
Jan 17, 2020 20:50:16 #
Been real tight last four months; had to replace damaged phone, car repairs (twice), then Defensive Driving class for a ticket from a few months ago ! License is only $37, but all these extra expenses have been digging into my food budget and keeping me broke !
Seriously hoping I can manage it out of my next check in February !
I WANNA GO FISHING,
DAMMIT !
Seriously hoping I can manage it out of my next check in February !
I WANNA GO FISHING,
DAMMIT !
Jan 17, 2020 20:58:31 #
Man, can't blame you there. I've got my license but one partner's boat is in the shop and the other partner had to put his 17 yr old Jack Russell down so he's not up to goin out yet and the weather isn't the greatest so I've been here on the stage for days. Sure gonna miss you guys when I start fishin again 2 or 3 days a week. Till then it's great fun with y'all.
Jan 17, 2020 21:09:57 #
Back to golf ? Okay ! More humor !
Monsignor Mitchell was looking for a golf partner for Saturday,
but none of the priests in his rectory were golfers; then he remembers that the Mother
Superior used to golf in the
semi-pro women's league
before joining the convent ! She's thrilled to be asked and happy for a day out ! First tee, the priest misses his swing and mutters 'dammit' loud enough to be
heard; the nun looks at him
askance and says "Father ! Your
language !" - " Sorry, sister, that slipped out !" On the third hole, halfway down the fairway, he
fans another shot and mutters "Dammit! I missed !" - Again the nun looks at him and says
"Father, please !" - " I'm so sorry sister ! Just getting a little
frustrated !" Two holes later,
he's in a bunker, hits the ball, which hits the rim and bounces
back into his chest ! "Dammit !
Missed again !" - The nun, in
shock, admonishes him to
please watch his language !
Before he can respond, a bolt
of lightning flashes down and strikes the nun, killing her
instantly ! The priest is on his knees saying his 'Mea Culpas'
when he hears a loud, booming voice emanating from the
clouds - " DAMMIT ! I MISSED !"
Monsignor Mitchell was looking for a golf partner for Saturday,
but none of the priests in his rectory were golfers; then he remembers that the Mother
Superior used to golf in the
semi-pro women's league
before joining the convent ! She's thrilled to be asked and happy for a day out ! First tee, the priest misses his swing and mutters 'dammit' loud enough to be
heard; the nun looks at him
askance and says "Father ! Your
language !" - " Sorry, sister, that slipped out !" On the third hole, halfway down the fairway, he
fans another shot and mutters "Dammit! I missed !" - Again the nun looks at him and says
"Father, please !" - " I'm so sorry sister ! Just getting a little
frustrated !" Two holes later,
he's in a bunker, hits the ball, which hits the rim and bounces
back into his chest ! "Dammit !
Missed again !" - The nun, in
shock, admonishes him to
please watch his language !
Before he can respond, a bolt
of lightning flashes down and strikes the nun, killing her
instantly ! The priest is on his knees saying his 'Mea Culpas'
when he hears a loud, booming voice emanating from the
clouds - " DAMMIT ! I MISSED !"
Jan 17, 2020 21:21:11 #
when I was on the sales training staff at a pharm laboratory in NY, (1980's) our medical advisory doctors were all Canadian. This meant they could acquire Cuban cigars legally and easily. When I got promoted and went around to say my "goodbyes" I asked one if I might get him to buy me a box. ! I was worried about the cost, but a box was only $7.50 so I bought two boxes.
He was such an afficioncado that he had his suits made with a special pocket that slanted down on the side so when he sits down, it would not break his stogies! They were excellent and lived up to their reputation. I would allow myself to smoke only one a day! RJS
He was such an afficioncado that he had his suits made with a special pocket that slanted down on the side so when he sits down, it would not break his stogies! They were excellent and lived up to their reputation. I would allow myself to smoke only one a day! RJS
Jan 17, 2020 21:32:38 #
Golf is so easy!!
Once a player has mastered the grip and stance, all he has to bear in mind, in the brief two-second interval it takes to swing, is to keep his left elbow pointed in toward the left hip and his right arm loose and closer to the body than the left and take the club head past his right knee and then break the wrists at just the right instant while the left arm is still traveling straight back from the ball and the right arm stays glued to the body and the hips come around in a perfect circle and meanwhile everything is mucked up unless the weight is 60 percent on the right foot and 40 percent on the left - not an ounce more or less - and at just the right point in the turn the left knee bends in toward the right in a dragging motion until the left heel comes off the ground but not too far and be sure the hands are over the right foot but not on the toe more than the heel except that the left side of the right foot is tilted off the ground - but not too far - and be sure the hands at the top of the swing are high and the shaft points along a line parallel with the ground and if its a downhill lie the shaft is supposed to be pointed downhill too and pause at the top of the swing and count one, jerk the left arm straight down like a bell ringer yanking a belfry rope and don't uncock the wrists too soon and pull the left hip around in a circle but don't let the shoulders turn with the hips - they have to be facing the hole and now transfer the weight 60 percent to the left foot and 40 percent to the right - not an ounce more or less - and tilt the left foot now so the right side of it is straight (that's the one you hit against) watch out for the left hand, it's supposed to be extended, but not too stiff or the shot won't go anywhere and don't let it get loose or you will hook, then let the wrists uncock but don't force them or you'll smother the shot and don't break too soon but keep your head down then hit the ball!
THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT!! . .
Unless you move your head, then you're all messed up!!!!
Once a player has mastered the grip and stance, all he has to bear in mind, in the brief two-second interval it takes to swing, is to keep his left elbow pointed in toward the left hip and his right arm loose and closer to the body than the left and take the club head past his right knee and then break the wrists at just the right instant while the left arm is still traveling straight back from the ball and the right arm stays glued to the body and the hips come around in a perfect circle and meanwhile everything is mucked up unless the weight is 60 percent on the right foot and 40 percent on the left - not an ounce more or less - and at just the right point in the turn the left knee bends in toward the right in a dragging motion until the left heel comes off the ground but not too far and be sure the hands are over the right foot but not on the toe more than the heel except that the left side of the right foot is tilted off the ground - but not too far - and be sure the hands at the top of the swing are high and the shaft points along a line parallel with the ground and if its a downhill lie the shaft is supposed to be pointed downhill too and pause at the top of the swing and count one, jerk the left arm straight down like a bell ringer yanking a belfry rope and don't uncock the wrists too soon and pull the left hip around in a circle but don't let the shoulders turn with the hips - they have to be facing the hole and now transfer the weight 60 percent to the left foot and 40 percent to the right - not an ounce more or less - and tilt the left foot now so the right side of it is straight (that's the one you hit against) watch out for the left hand, it's supposed to be extended, but not too stiff or the shot won't go anywhere and don't let it get loose or you will hook, then let the wrists uncock but don't force them or you'll smother the shot and don't break too soon but keep your head down then hit the ball!
THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT!! . .
Unless you move your head, then you're all messed up!!!!
Jan 17, 2020 21:37:58 #
Saw ; Sorry to hear about your buddy's 'Jack Russell', but 17 years is pretty old for a dog,
ain't it ? I know they're a pretty special breed; smart as a whip
and exceedingly loyal ! Not a dog person myself, as I've had a few
negative experiences in the past, but there are a few breeds that
I like ! Saw a movie some years ago called 'My Dog Skip'; great family movie and a really good, touching story ! If you haven't
seen it, you should rent it (or borrow it from your library) for
the kids/grand-kids(?) ! Good
for a movie night or rainy
Sunday afternoon !
ain't it ? I know they're a pretty special breed; smart as a whip
and exceedingly loyal ! Not a dog person myself, as I've had a few
negative experiences in the past, but there are a few breeds that
I like ! Saw a movie some years ago called 'My Dog Skip'; great family movie and a really good, touching story ! If you haven't
seen it, you should rent it (or borrow it from your library) for
the kids/grand-kids(?) ! Good
for a movie night or rainy
Sunday afternoon !
Jan 17, 2020 21:50:18 #
Yeah, that's pretty old I think. I remember that movie, but I don't believe I've seen it. Not a big dog person any more myself, but my 2 fishin partners have, had, dogs and my daughter has one and they all just love me. As a kid growin up I always had a dog. Maybe they can still sense the once affection. I do still like them, just don't want to own one.
Jan 17, 2020 22:12:20 #
audigger53 wrote:
OK, my golf tale. br When I got out of Bootcamp an... (show quote)
Similar thing happened to me, though not a sport. i was in FT school and one of my classmates who was from Provo Utah asked me to play Chess with him. i told him I have never played before. no problem he says, i will show you. Well i beat him badly and he was PISSED. he accused of lying. he absolutely would not believe me and never asked me to pay again.
Jan 17, 2020 22:19:27 #
Some peoples' kids ! Ya can't
play with 'em and ya can't shoot 'em ! (Kinda like ex-wives!)
play with 'em and ya can't shoot 'em ! (Kinda like ex-wives!)
Jan 18, 2020 07:42:24 #
saw1 wrote:
Man, can't blame you there. I've got my license but one partner's boat is in the shop and the other partner had to put his 17 yr old Jack Russell down so he's not up to goin out yet and the weather isn't the greatest so I've been here on the stage for days. Sure gonna miss you guys when I start fishin again 2 or 3 days a week. Till then it's great fun with y'all.
Saw unless you will be fishing through out the night, best be sending us pics with words of wisdom. You are a regular here and would be missed.
Jan 18, 2020 07:42:36 #
saw1 wrote:
I got the Cuban figgered out, but what color is Monica's hair?
According to Bill,,,,,,what hair.
Jan 18, 2020 07:47:10 #
Big A wrote:
Back to golf ? Okay ! More humor ! br Monsignor Mi... (show quote)
Big A that will cost you a few Hail Mary's and a couple Our Father's. Down on your knees young man.
Be careful going out side. LOL
Jan 18, 2020 07:50:24 #
Ron 01 wrote:
Golf is so easy!! br br Once a player has mastere... (show quote)
Piece of cake for someone else. I prefer toss, catch fish, eat.
Jan 18, 2020 07:56:12 #
Kerry Hansen wrote:
Similar thing happened to me, though not a sport. i was in FT school and one of my classmates who was from Provo Utah asked me to play Chess with him. i told him I have never played before. no problem he says, i will show you. Well i beat him badly and he was PISSED. he accused of lying. he absolutely would not believe me and never asked me to pay again.
How to torque people of 101. What's the game where you toss a bean bag into a hole? Well went to a lawn party this past summer and I get chosen as a partner. Blatantly I said no way, never done that, to hot out, etc etc and yet there I stood, bag in hand. Took bean bag, tossed one after another and swish not even on the slide. Other team walked away never got to finish. Go Figure.
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