Spiritof27 Loc: Lincoln, CA

I don't think I've ever mentioned it on here, but in my younger days I was a fairly decent athlete. Played a lot of baseball. And I was a very good tennis player. I learned early in my Navy career that if you were good at any sport, if you could compete and win trophies for the "old man" and the command trophy case, you could pretty much skate through any command. Suffice it to say that I was good enough to earn a spot on every command's tennis team that I was ever stationed at, if they had a command tennis team. But. I could not and cannot hit a golf ball. I learned this the hard agonizing way, by starting out horrible and getting ever worse. When I swing a golf club and strike the ball (if I strike the ball) I have no idea where that sucker is going, not even which direction it's going to go in, much less where it's going to land. Now my problem is, or was in those days anyway, that I am obsessively competitive. I hate to lose and I strive to win. Well in golf you're competing with the golf course and yourself. It really got under my skin that I could not improve, only seemed to be getting worse. So after a couple of years of this, I put down my clubs and I took an oath (seriously) that I would never pick them up again. Move forward a couple of years, I'm retired from the Navy, and I bought a house. The guys in the neighborhood, me included, all get together on Friday nights to play poker. A couple of them golf and they're always yacking about it and I slip up and tell them about my oath. So now they want to see how bad I can be and they want me to go golfing with them on a Saturday. I am not easily persuaded. One of the guys, Oscar, is a Mexican who has a brother who lives in Mexico. In those days I smoked and I would occasionally buy a couple of real nice cigars and smoke them as we played poker. Oscar says that if I play a round of golf with him, his brother will pick me up some real honest-to-god Cubans next time he's in Mexico City. Having never smoked a real honest-to-god Cuban but wanting to try one very badly, I agree to the deal. We play golf. I suck. They can't believe it. They laugh. We had a ok time. I tell Oscar, I want my Cubanos. About 6 weeks later I see Oscar's brother down at his house. I asked him where are my Cuban cigars? He says, you know I went into the cigar store in Mexico City to buy some, I asked the lady if she had real Cubans, she says yes I do. How much? $!5.00 each. What? I said. Whatdaya think I am a goddam Gringo? I never did get my cubans.

saw1 Loc: nor cal Windsor

IDK how much they are here , but I feel safe in sayin that they're more than 15 bucks. I'd say he still owes you some Cubans.

Big A Loc: Mesa, Arizona

Two friends are in business together; one week, they decide they're going to get in a quick
nine holes before work, so they get to the course first thing on Friday morning, hoping to be
the first to tee off ! Around the
fourth hole, they notice two women on the course ahead
of them, so they're debating whether to let the ladies play
on, or ask their permission to play through so that they can get to work on time ! One of them
approaches the ladies to ask permission, gets within fifty
feet, then walks back without
asking ! When asked why he
didn't get permission, he tells
his friend - " One of them is
my wife, and the other is my
mistress" ! - His buddy walks
over to ask them if they can
play through, also gets within
fifty feet, and walks back !
When the first golfer asks him
why he didn't get permission, he looks up kinda sheepish-like
and says - "It's a small world" !

flyguy Loc: Lake Onalaska, Sunfish Capitol of the World!

OH, Big A, there is a day brightener!

Sinner Loc: witness protection program

Which is better, a Cuban or a Monica?

Flytier Loc: Wilmington Delaware

I never did take up golf. I could hit the ball fine but I always figured there was no way of being a fisherman a golfer and married at the same time.

plumbob Loc: New Windsor Maryland

Now that's sharing.

flyguy Loc: Lake Onalaska, Sunfish Capitol of the World!

Speaking from experience, it's hard to be a good fisher and a good golfer at the same time, much less a good husband. It just isn't going to work. Being a good husband is #1, a good fisher is in the top 5 and a good golfer is maybe in the top 5,000. Just above go to He!!.

kpt Loc: texas

Yes it is possible to be a golfer and a fishermen and be married. I have done it for 35 years ! But my wife knew when we met that I was an avid sportsman and I liked a lot of sports. I even follow football and basketball on tv and watch them all the time. When you find a good one you hang on to them ! I have also been a cigar smoker and a Cuban beats a Monica any day !

audigger53 Loc: Severn, MD

OK, my golf tale.
When I got out of Bootcamp and back home on Leave, I drove up to where a Friend of mine from grade school lived (65 miles away). He was walking out of his house when I drove up. "Hi, Jim!" "Hi I"m Going to the Driving Range, want to come?"
"Sure" Wasn't sure what he was talking aobut.
We get there and he says,"You ever hit any golf Balls?"
"No, just Mineture Golf".
He gives me a #2 Wood and shows me how to grasp it, both hands.
I hit the first ball and it goes off to the right. I look at the club to ball position and realize it is not Square to the ball.
I adjust and start hiting the balls from the bucket.
About a 1/2 bucket later I start getting nervous, the people in front of me are looking at me.
As I place another ball down I look behind me and people are looking at me.
I keep hitting balls until my friend comes up to me and says, "Let's go."
"OK"
All of the 1/2 bucket of balls were between 220 and 200 yards in front of me and maybe 20 feet wide in an Oval.
I didn't understand why he seemed irritated at me at the time.
It wasn't until 20 years later that I learned Max on a #2 Wood was 220 yards.
He didn't tell me that I should play Golf so I never did. I think he was upset because he thought I had lied to him about playing Golf.
When I learned what I had really done with the driver, I figured Golf cost too much money for me, I'd rather be fishing.
If he had told me to start playing Golf back then I might have been able to done it Pro. No Idea.

Spiritof27 Loc: Lincoln, CA

I never had that problem. And I can't offer an opinion on which is better, 'cause I've never had a Cuban.

JimRed Loc: Coastal New Jersey, Belmar area

The call it GOLF because all the other four-letter words were taken.

Sinner Loc: witness protection program

Gordon Loc: Charleston South Carolina

I enjoy golfing. Dont play all that good but I'll never let golf interfere with my beer drinking.

saw1 Loc: nor cal Windsor

I got the Cuban figgered out, but what color is Monica's hair?