Fly I’m trying to be sort of a nice guy, at least some of the time, Ha! And yes F D, I’m an absolute Ford man myself. In 75 years of owning vehicles, they have all been Ford except one. I took over my son-in-laws Chevy payments and ownership when he (and our daughter) was transferred to Germany during his military career. The sacrifice one has to make trying to be a good guy. Oh well!!!l
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Ford is making a heated tailgate….so your hands stay warm when you are pushing it home in the winter.
Due to the confidentiality of my job, I don’t know what I’m doing.
I grew up living pay check to pay check, but through perseverance I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.
Sometimes the thoughts in my head get so bored, they go for a stroll through my mouth.
I can’t wait to retire so I can wake up at 6 o’clock in the morning and go driving around real slow and make everybody late for work.
I’m stuck between a rock and somebody I want to hit with it.
No matter how bad it gets, I’m always rich at the dollar store.
Life has never given me lemons. It has given me anger issues, anxiety attacks, a love of alcohol and a serious dislike for stupid idiots.
I strive to be a nice person but sometimes my mouth doesn’t cooperate.
When one door closes…. sometimes you want to get a hammer and nails and make sure it stays shut.
I was born to be wild, but only till around 9 pm.
My entire life can be summed up in one sentence….”Well that didn’t go as planned.”
I’m always forced to do stuff I’m not qualified for. Like being nice to stupid idiots.
I hate it when I see an old person and then realize we went to high school together.
As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but ticking them off is a piece of cake.
I prefer not to think before I speak. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth,
When your at the checkout line and they ask you if you found everything, say,….” Why, are you hiding stuff?”
Interviewer: “What do you make at your current job?” Me: “Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments.”
And so ends another week without me becoming unexpectedly rich.
My stomach is FLAT. The L is just silent.
There’s no need to yell, holler and repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time.
Interviewer: “So. Tell me about yourself.” Me: “I’d rather not, I kinda really want this job.”
I’m in a good place right now. Not emotionally. I’m just at the liquor store.
And, I think, the best for last.
Oh. I’m sorry. I forgot you never do anything wrong, and nothing is ever your fault. Sorry I forgot that you are as perfect as it gets and your the only one who is entitled to point fingers and make accusations. Silly me.
Y’all have a nice day you hear!
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Know first hand what goes into waiting, busing, tending bar and dirty dishes in the kitchen. Worked my way through 5 years of college working in a big hotel. Hard work, but do it right and most times you come out on top.
I’ve been known to tip more than the bill. Never ever don’t tip at least a couple of dollars, even for bad service. They’re working hard, might be having a bad day or a big bad boss running over them, so I always give them the benefit of doubt; they need the work.
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Hello D L, could be a cuzin or somthang. Have to ask him. 😀😀😀
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John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm.
The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet in front of him.
Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming toward him and stopped.
John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door…only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn’t on.
The car started moving slowly.
John looked at the road ahead and a curve was approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life.
Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared out of nowhere through the window, and turned the wheel. John, paralayzed with terror, watched as the hand came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.
Shortly thereafter, John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road, so gathering strength; he jumped out of the car and ran to it. Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he just had.
A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying… and wasn’t drunk. Suddenly the door opened and two other people walked in from the dark and stormy night. They like John, were also soaked and out of breath…..Looking around and seeing John sobbing at the bar, one of them said to the other….Look Paddy….there’s that fking idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it!!!!
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Good info Four, and they say Loousianans ain’t smart; what do they know? I think that same flasher and boomer came over my house CamT. One night when I was a youngster a flasher hit our neighbors tree, jumped across our driveway, hit the corner of our house by the bedroom where my parents were sleeping, ran through the wiring of the whole house, toasted everything that was plugged into a receptacle. Quite an experience for an 11 year old and thanks that no one was hurt. Gotta always be watchful when your out and there’s a storm in the area. We all need that lightening app.
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Two ol’ coots is out in this here boat fishing under a bridge when one suddenly stands up and puts his over his heart. The other ol’ coot ask “why yus standing up?”. He says “Thad a funral going by”. “But yus don’t has to stand for no funral”. “Yas I has to stand, it’s my wife going over!”.
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Morning OJ and all. Nice to be retired, stay indoors and cool, do nothing but avoid the triple digit temps and bad air.
Noon and 101 in the shade on my patio
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Yep Big A, he was the master. There is a Dr. Alrite, Dr. Rilief, Dr. Gas, Dr. Klevege just to name a few. Think I would think about changing my name.
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It’s funny how us’n menfolk is always wrong and in trouble when we opens our mouths and says something or if’ s we keep it closed and says nothing and either way it’s always our fault no matter what!!!😢🤫🥱😵💫
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I think we all have a sense of humor, just read the post. Plenty of laughs!
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Great post bb. This one is going to be passed on to friends, family and enemies . Thanks for sharing. Blessings and Amen!!! 🙏🙏🙏
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All good bb. They all hit the nail on the head.
Home run Four, who said Loosianans don’t have what it takes?
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Thanks hack. A bunch of funny ones that I got a good chuckle from and can relate to Hokey Pokey, my wife and I used to teach dancing for 38 yrs. Some of the rest come close to home too.
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