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Thoughts of Wisdom
Jun 17, 2021 19:43:01   #
TXmudbug Loc: Houston TX
 
Ford is making a heated tailgate….so your hands stay warm when you are pushing it home in the winter.

Due to the confidentiality of my job, I don’t know what I’m doing.

I grew up living pay check to pay check, but through perseverance I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.

Sometimes the thoughts in my head get so bored, they go for a stroll through my mouth.

I can’t wait to retire so I can wake up at 6 o’clock in the morning and go driving around real slow and make everybody late for work.

I’m stuck between a rock and somebody I want to hit with it.

No matter how bad it gets, I’m always rich at the dollar store.

Life has never given me lemons. It has given me anger issues, anxiety attacks, a love of alcohol and a serious dislike for stupid idiots.

I strive to be a nice person but sometimes my mouth doesn’t cooperate.

When one door closes…. sometimes you want to get a hammer and nails and make sure it stays shut.

I was born to be wild, but only till around 9 pm.

My entire life can be summed up in one sentence….”Well that didn’t go as planned.”

I’m always forced to do stuff I’m not qualified for. Like being nice to stupid idiots.

I hate it when I see an old person and then realize we went to high school together.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but ticking them off is a piece of cake.

I prefer not to think before I speak. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth,

When your at the checkout line and they ask you if you found everything, say,….” Why, are you hiding stuff?”

Interviewer: “What do you make at your current job?” Me: “Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments.”

And so ends another week without me becoming unexpectedly rich.

My stomach is FLAT. The L is just silent.

There’s no need to yell, holler and repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time.

Interviewer: “So. Tell me about yourself.” Me: “I’d rather not, I kinda really want this job.”

I’m in a good place right now. Not emotionally. I’m just at the liquor store.

And, I think, the best for last.

Oh. I’m sorry. I forgot you never do anything wrong, and nothing is ever your fault. Sorry I forgot that you are as perfect as it gets and your the only one who is entitled to point fingers and make accusations. Silly me.

Y’all have a nice day you hear!
laissez les bons temps rouller

Reply
Jun 17, 2021 19:48:11   #
Foodfisher Loc: SO. Cal coast
 
I knew you were a real guy. All fit me pretty well.👍

Reply
Jun 17, 2021 19:52:36   #
flyguy Loc: Lake Onalaska, Sunfish Capitol of the World!
 
TXmudbug wrote:
Ford is making a heated tailgate….so your hands stay warm when you are pushing it home in the winter.

Due to the confidentiality of my job, I don’t know what I’m doing.

I grew up living pay check to pay check, but through perseverance I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.

Sometimes the thoughts in my head get so bored, they go for a stroll through my mouth.

I can’t wait to retire so I can wake up at 6 o’clock in the morning and go driving around real slow and make everybody late for work.

I’m stuck between a rock and somebody I want to hit with it.

No matter how bad it gets, I’m always rich at the dollar store.

Life has never given me lemons. It has given me anger issues, anxiety attacks, a love of alcohol and a serious dislike for stupid idiots.

I strive to be a nice person but sometimes my mouth doesn’t cooperate.

When one door closes…. sometimes you want to get a hammer and nails and make sure it stays shut.

I was born to be wild, but only till around 9 pm.

My entire life can be summed up in one sentence….”Well that didn’t go as planned.”

I’m always forced to do stuff I’m not qualified for. Like being nice to stupid idiots.

I hate it when I see an old person and then realize we went to high school together.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but ticking them off is a piece of cake.

I prefer not to think before I speak. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth,

When your at the checkout line and they ask you if you found everything, say,….” Why, are you hiding stuff?”

Interviewer: “What do you make at your current job?” Me: “Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments.”

And so ends another week without me becoming unexpectedly rich.

My stomach is FLAT. The L is just silent.

There’s no need to yell, holler and repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time.

Interviewer: “So. Tell me about yourself.” Me: “I’d rather not, I kinda really want this job.”

I’m in a good place right now. Not emotionally. I’m just at the liquor store.

And, I think, the best for last.

Oh. I’m sorry. I forgot you never do anything wrong, and nothing is ever your fault. Sorry I forgot that you are as perfect as it gets and your the only one who is entitled to point fingers and make accusations. Silly me.

Y’all have a nice day you hear!
laissez les bons temps rouller
Ford is making a heated tailgate….so your hands st... (show quote)


I think you are kind of a nice guy.

Reply
 
 
Jun 17, 2021 20:08:56   #
CamT Loc: La Porte, Texas
 
Seems to sum up my life fairly well 🤔

Reply
Jun 17, 2021 20:31:00   #
Fish Dancer Loc: Guntersville, Alabama
 
TXmudbug wrote:
Ford is making a heated tailgate….so your hands stay warm when you are pushing it home in the winter.

Due to the confidentiality of my job, I don’t know what I’m doing.

I grew up living pay check to pay check, but through perseverance I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.

Sometimes the thoughts in my head get so bored, they go for a stroll through my mouth.

I can’t wait to retire so I can wake up at 6 o’clock in the morning and go driving around real slow and make everybody late for work.

I’m stuck between a rock and somebody I want to hit with it.

No matter how bad it gets, I’m always rich at the dollar store.

Life has never given me lemons. It has given me anger issues, anxiety attacks, a love of alcohol and a serious dislike for stupid idiots.

I strive to be a nice person but sometimes my mouth doesn’t cooperate.

When one door closes…. sometimes you want to get a hammer and nails and make sure it stays shut.

I was born to be wild, but only till around 9 pm.

My entire life can be summed up in one sentence….”Well that didn’t go as planned.”

I’m always forced to do stuff I’m not qualified for. Like being nice to stupid idiots.

I hate it when I see an old person and then realize we went to high school together.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but ticking them off is a piece of cake.

I prefer not to think before I speak. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth,

When your at the checkout line and they ask you if you found everything, say,….” Why, are you hiding stuff?”

Interviewer: “What do you make at your current job?” Me: “Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments.”

And so ends another week without me becoming unexpectedly rich.

My stomach is FLAT. The L is just silent.

There’s no need to yell, holler and repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time.

Interviewer: “So. Tell me about yourself.” Me: “I’d rather not, I kinda really want this job.”

I’m in a good place right now. Not emotionally. I’m just at the liquor store.

And, I think, the best for last.

Oh. I’m sorry. I forgot you never do anything wrong, and nothing is ever your fault. Sorry I forgot that you are as perfect as it gets and your the only one who is entitled to point fingers and make accusations. Silly me.

Y’all have a nice day you hear!
laissez les bons temps rouller
Ford is making a heated tailgate….so your hands st... (show quote)


Careful TX, I’m a Ford man. Lol. The rest are good 👍 thanks for the laughs.

Reply
Jun 17, 2021 20:31:19   #
Fredfish Loc: Prospect CT.
 
TXmudbug wrote:
Ford is making a heated tailgate….so your hands stay warm when you are pushing it home in the winter.

Due to the confidentiality of my job, I don’t know what I’m doing.

I grew up living pay check to pay check, but through perseverance I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.

Sometimes the thoughts in my head get so bored, they go for a stroll through my mouth.

I can’t wait to retire so I can wake up at 6 o’clock in the morning and go driving around real slow and make everybody late for work.

I’m stuck between a rock and somebody I want to hit with it.

No matter how bad it gets, I’m always rich at the dollar store.

Life has never given me lemons. It has given me anger issues, anxiety attacks, a love of alcohol and a serious dislike for stupid idiots.

I strive to be a nice person but sometimes my mouth doesn’t cooperate.

When one door closes…. sometimes you want to get a hammer and nails and make sure it stays shut.

I was born to be wild, but only till around 9 pm.

My entire life can be summed up in one sentence….”Well that didn’t go as planned.”

I’m always forced to do stuff I’m not qualified for. Like being nice to stupid idiots.

I hate it when I see an old person and then realize we went to high school together.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but ticking them off is a piece of cake.

I prefer not to think before I speak. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth,

When your at the checkout line and they ask you if you found everything, say,….” Why, are you hiding stuff?”

Interviewer: “What do you make at your current job?” Me: “Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments.”

And so ends another week without me becoming unexpectedly rich.

My stomach is FLAT. The L is just silent.

There’s no need to yell, holler and repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time.

Interviewer: “So. Tell me about yourself.” Me: “I’d rather not, I kinda really want this job.”

I’m in a good place right now. Not emotionally. I’m just at the liquor store.

And, I think, the best for last.

Oh. I’m sorry. I forgot you never do anything wrong, and nothing is ever your fault. Sorry I forgot that you are as perfect as it gets and your the only one who is entitled to point fingers and make accusations. Silly me.

Y’all have a nice day you hear!
laissez les bons temps rouller
Ford is making a heated tailgate….so your hands st... (show quote)


I resemble those remarks.

Reply
Jun 17, 2021 22:11:54   #
TXmudbug Loc: Houston TX
 
Fly I’m trying to be sort of a nice guy, at least some of the time, Ha! And yes F D, I’m an absolute Ford man myself. In 75 years of owning vehicles, they have all been Ford except one. I took over my son-in-laws Chevy payments and ownership when he (and our daughter) was transferred to Germany during his military career. The sacrifice one has to make trying to be a good guy. Oh well!!!l
laissez les bons temps rouller

Reply
 
 
Jun 18, 2021 06:52:00   #
plumbob Loc: New Windsor Maryland
 
TXmudbug wrote:
Ford is making a heated tailgate….so your hands stay warm when you are pushing it home in the winter.

Due to the confidentiality of my job, I don’t know what I’m doing.

I grew up living pay check to pay check, but through perseverance I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.

Sometimes the thoughts in my head get so bored, they go for a stroll through my mouth.

I can’t wait to retire so I can wake up at 6 o’clock in the morning and go driving around real slow and make everybody late for work.

I’m stuck between a rock and somebody I want to hit with it.

No matter how bad it gets, I’m always rich at the dollar store.

Life has never given me lemons. It has given me anger issues, anxiety attacks, a love of alcohol and a serious dislike for stupid idiots.

I strive to be a nice person but sometimes my mouth doesn’t cooperate.

When one door closes…. sometimes you want to get a hammer and nails and make sure it stays shut.

I was born to be wild, but only till around 9 pm.

My entire life can be summed up in one sentence….”Well that didn’t go as planned.”

I’m always forced to do stuff I’m not qualified for. Like being nice to stupid idiots.

I hate it when I see an old person and then realize we went to high school together.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but ticking them off is a piece of cake.

I prefer not to think before I speak. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth,

When your at the checkout line and they ask you if you found everything, say,….” Why, are you hiding stuff?”

Interviewer: “What do you make at your current job?” Me: “Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments.”

And so ends another week without me becoming unexpectedly rich.

My stomach is FLAT. The L is just silent.

There’s no need to yell, holler and repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time.

Interviewer: “So. Tell me about yourself.” Me: “I’d rather not, I kinda really want this job.”

I’m in a good place right now. Not emotionally. I’m just at the liquor store.

And, I think, the best for last.

Oh. I’m sorry. I forgot you never do anything wrong, and nothing is ever your fault. Sorry I forgot that you are as perfect as it gets and your the only one who is entitled to point fingers and make accusations. Silly me.

Y’all have a nice day you hear!
laissez les bons temps rouller
Ford is making a heated tailgate….so your hands st... (show quote)


Dang TX, I thought my mind wondered a lot. Good to know i have company in the liquor store.

Reply
Jun 18, 2021 07:02:43   #
Doug Lemmon Loc: Rochester Mills, PA
 
Pretty much my life story..

About the Fords... I always thought that blue oval was there just so ya knew where to dig yer shoulder in when ya had to push!!

Reply
Jun 18, 2021 07:39:31   #
Grumpus
 
Have you been keeping track of me? Or, filming me being myself? Or, worse, are there others like us out there? If we weren't like this, it would take all of the fun out of being alive.

Reply
Jun 18, 2021 07:58:27   #
kandydisbar Loc: West Orange, NJ
 
TXmudbug wrote:
Ford is making a heated tailgate….so your hands stay warm when you are pushing it home in the winter.

Due to the confidentiality of my job, I don’t know what I’m doing.

I grew up living pay check to pay check, but through perseverance I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.

Sometimes the thoughts in my head get so bored, they go for a stroll through my mouth.

I can’t wait to retire so I can wake up at 6 o’clock in the morning and go driving around real slow and make everybody late for work.

I’m stuck between a rock and somebody I want to hit with it.

No matter how bad it gets, I’m always rich at the dollar store.

Life has never given me lemons. It has given me anger issues, anxiety attacks, a love of alcohol and a serious dislike for stupid idiots.

I strive to be a nice person but sometimes my mouth doesn’t cooperate.

When one door closes…. sometimes you want to get a hammer and nails and make sure it stays shut.

I was born to be wild, but only till around 9 pm.

My entire life can be summed up in one sentence….”Well that didn’t go as planned.”

I’m always forced to do stuff I’m not qualified for. Like being nice to stupid idiots.

I hate it when I see an old person and then realize we went to high school together.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but ticking them off is a piece of cake.

I prefer not to think before I speak. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth,

When your at the checkout line and they ask you if you found everything, say,….” Why, are you hiding stuff?”

Interviewer: “What do you make at your current job?” Me: “Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments.”

And so ends another week without me becoming unexpectedly rich.

My stomach is FLAT. The L is just silent.

There’s no need to yell, holler and repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time.

Interviewer: “So. Tell me about yourself.” Me: “I’d rather not, I kinda really want this job.”

I’m in a good place right now. Not emotionally. I’m just at the liquor store.

And, I think, the best for last.

Oh. I’m sorry. I forgot you never do anything wrong, and nothing is ever your fault. Sorry I forgot that you are as perfect as it gets and your the only one who is entitled to point fingers and make accusations. Silly me.

Y’all have a nice day you hear!
laissez les bons temps rouller
Ford is making a heated tailgate….so your hands st... (show quote)


Got some belly laughs from these, Mud. Thanks!! Ford tailgate...Flat, ha ha

Reply
 
 
Jun 18, 2021 13:16:02   #
TXmudbug Loc: Houston TX
 
Dang plumbob, hanging out in the liquor store IS a good thing.

Yes DL, that’s sort of like a bulls eye.

Watch out Grump, maybe candid camera; life is a bowl of cherries.

Your welcome Kandy, laughs are good for the soul
.

Reply
Jun 18, 2021 15:19:12   #
USAF Major Loc: Sea Bright, NJ
 
Nothing is as good as a smile on a Friday afternoon except beer.

Reply
Jun 18, 2021 16:37:22   #
Fish Dancer Loc: Guntersville, Alabama
 
USAF Major wrote:
Nothing is as good as a smile on a Friday afternoon except beer.


And that beer will bring a smile to my face. 🍺🍺😀😀

Reply
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