Grumpus

Thank all of you for the replies. Fishing is a lot more fun when you get right to the core of things.

Stuff Loc: South Shore Ma

A friend I've fished with for many years retired and they gave him a set of Golf Clubs!! He said he never played Golf and knew nothing about the game. They said No Problem included was golf lessons!!! So he meet the Pro at the golf course!! What do I do?? He said do you see that Flag!! Hit the ball at it!! He did and it came within 6 inches of the flag!!! The pro was amazed!! My friend says what do I do now?? Pro says hit the ball into the hole!! My friend says WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT BEFORE!!!

tumhoefer Loc: MPLS/St. PAul Minnesota

I grew up with "arnold palmer" - my dad played 7 days a week, in most every tournament in the state ( won many of them) and started me when I was 4. I caddied by the time I was 9 or 10 ( those old, big tour size bags that I HAD to carry, i could not use a pull cart) I played as often as my day once I hit the caddying age and he was ADAMANT that you always play "ready golf". You walk straight to your ball, make sure you're not in anyone's physical or distraction range and play your ball -we'll meet at the green. If you were close by each other you told the other guy to go first and you were already addressing your ball so you were ready to swing once he hit his. He did not tolerate slow play. Same thing on the green. AS good a golfer as he was he could put a well-placed shot right next to you to "hurry you up" if you were dogging it hole after hole and had no qualms about coming up to you on the next tee right after that shot and asking to play through. If they said no, they got a visit from the ranger as soon as possible. That's how I learned to play. When I host fundraiser tourneys for my Rotary Club or our Education Foundation i Do not sell mulligans as they just add way too much time ( I sat on a par three hole behind 4 groups in one best ball tournament waiting for all the groups to use their mulligans - I bet I was there almost 1/2 hour.)
Too many of these 1 day a week golfers with $3,000 worth of clubs think they're at Augusta, whether playing on a public or private course it does not matter. I will only play public courses where they have rangers now. I have the opinion that many just don't care that they are being rude, it's not that they don't realize, they are just too self-absorbed - I too will spend more time fishing as a result but I LOVE golf!)

Big A Loc: Mesa, Arizona

Wish I was better at posting videos
on my phone; for anyone interested
in a really hilarious routine, go to YouTube and watch Robin Williams' take on the invention of golf ! Damn near peed myself laughing !

Spiritof27 Loc: Lincoln, CA

Yes sir. Classic.

Big A Loc: Mesa, Arizona

Two best friends start a small business together - on Thurs.
evening, Ralph looks over at John
and asks him how he feels about
a quick 9-hole round on Fri. morning before work, to which his buddy
readily agrees !

Friday morning, they play up to the sixth hole to find a couple of women
ahead of them on the next hole;
as they're pressed for time, they
discuss whether to wait them out
or ask if they can play through !

"Okay, I'll go ask them" - says Ralph
as he approaches the women; he
gets within 50 reet of the nearest
one and turns back ! - "Did you ask them if we could play through ?"
asks John as his buddy returns !
"Nope, says Ralph!"
"No ? Why not ?"
"Because one is my wife
and the other is my mistress !"
"Okay, then I'LL go ask them !"
So now John approaches the
women to ask, takes a quick look
and turns back to his buddy who
asks him if he asked to play
through !
"Nope ! Couldn't do it either !"
"And why the hell not ?"
'It's a small world !"

Stuff Loc: South Shore Ma

A couple of good friends Joe and John with similar handicaps are playing golf, Joe says how will we play today? John says we play where the ball lies!! 1st hole Joe hits his ball into the gravel cart path!! they drive up and Joe says can I move my ball?? John says we are playing where the ball lies so Joe pulls a club from the golf cart and John drives to his ball. Joe takes many practice swings shooting sparks up every time!! Then he hits the ball within 6 inches of the pin!! Amazed John says what club did you use???
Joe says YOUR 6 IRON!!!!
Stuff

Spiritof27 Loc: Lincoln, CA

John was an avid golfer, loved the game. In fact he loved the game so much and devoted so much time to it that he had never had the time to develop a relationship with any women, and so at the ripe age of 60 he found himself a bachelor and in need of some companionship. Then he met Monica, and lo and behold Monica seemed to love the game as much as he did, and was a scratch golfer who offered him not only companionship but competition as well. They spent nearly every day together on the greens and quickly grew very fond of each other. After about a year or so of this, John decided to pop the question. They were sitting at a table on the 19th and John told her of his love and asked her if she would marry him. Rather than being overjoyed, Monica appeared to be somewhat alarmed. John asked her what was wrong, how had he upset her? Then Monica explained to him that she was very fond of him also, but there was something she needed to tell him. And she explained to him that she was actually a man, that she only wore women's clothes because that way she was able to keep connected with her "feminine side". John looked at her in horror. He got up from the table and stormed away shouting at "Monica" that she was a deceptive cheat and that he never wanted anything to do with her or see her again. Monica ran. after him, pleading with him, begging his forgiveness for leading him on so. "I could forgive you for that, fooling me into loving you and making a fool out of me. But we've been together now for almost a year, and all that time you've been hitting from the red tees!"

Big A Loc: Mesa, Arizona

Sounds familiar - Fred is still somewhat of a novice, so he still
gets a little nervous on the tee - he flubs his first shot and it only goes
a few yards and lands on the ladies' tee ! As he lines up to hit it again, he hears a voice on the Intercom -
"Would the gentleman on the first
hole please back up to the men's
tee ? He lines up for his second shot
again, only to hear the same announcement ! As he lines up for
his third try, the announcement
comes on a third time; now, more
than a little peeved at the constant, repeated interruptions, he hollers
back - "Would the freakin' A-hole on
the Intercom please shut the hell up long enough for me to take my
second shot ?"

Big A Loc: Mesa, Arizona

Ya know, for a supposed 'fishing' forum, we sure do have/get a lot of golfers/golf jokes on here ! So, how many of our fishermen (who also
golf) carry a rod 'n reel in their golf
bag for catching some of those big,
water-hazard bass while on the course, I wonder ? Anyone ?

Spiritof27 Loc: Lincoln, CA

I do not golf. A nice walk spoiled. Yes indeed.

Big A Loc: Mesa, Arizona

Ditto ! Personally, I couldn't see the point of chasing some little white
ball across acres and acres of real estate ! My dad and youngest brother
were avid golfers and spent many hours on the course at Intervale Country Club back home; my brother was also the president of that club
for five years ! My other brother has probably played a few games, and
all three of my brothers-in-law were players (duffers ?) ! I played one
game with dad when I stayed with
my folks in Florida back in '82 - '83;
made a few good drives (and a
whole lot of crappy ones), and somehow managed to sink a
20-ft. putt - I was amazed and dad was just flabbergasted ! First and
only game, ever !

drifter023 Loc: So,Calif.

What other sport can you play when your in your 60’s I will play till I can’t walk. Or figure out how I can get out with my friends. Just saying plus fishing in between 😀

Spiritof27 Loc: Lincoln, CA

problem is, I couldn't play when I was 30, much less 60 or 70. I'd have probably not been too bad if weren't for my total LOFT.

Big A Loc: Mesa, Arizona

My biggest problem on the course
was a REALLY MEAN slice, right off
the tee ! In that game with dad, there were condos along the fairway;
fortunately, all the windows/doors were tempered glass, or one of
those sliced drives would have
cost me a lot of money !

Putting was my forte, probably due
to the many hours of miniature/putt-putt golf with friends, family, etc. !