A young priest was nervous before having his first Mass. So, the Monsignor told him to place a glass of vodka beside the water glass and if he felt nervous, to take a little sip, so at his mass the young priest did as the Monsignor suggested. He started the Mass and immediately felt nervous so he proceeded to drink the vodka. After the first couple of hits he gave a lengthy sermon. After Mass he returned to his cubicle and found the following note on his door
#1---sip the vodka, don't gulp it
#2---there are Ten Commandments, not twelve
#3---there are twelve disciples, not ten
#4---Jesus was consecrated, not constipated
#5---Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass
#6---We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
#7---The father, the Son and the Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook
#8---David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him
#9---When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, we do not say he was stoned off his ass
#10---We do not refer to the Holy Cross as the Big T
#11---When Jesus broke bread at The Last Supper he said "Take this and eat for it is my body", he did not say "eat me"
#12---The Virgin Mary is not referred to as "Mary with the cherry"
#13---The recommended grace before a meal is not "rub-a-dub-dub thanks for the grub, yeah God!
#14---Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St Peters, not a peter-pulling contest at St Taffys
bahmer
Loc: Northern Illinois Rockford
BadFisherman wrote:
A young priest was nervous before having his first Mass. So, the Monsignor told him to place a glass of vodka beside the water glass and if he felt nervous, to take a little sip, so at his mass the young priest did as the Monsignor suggested. He started the Mass and immediately felt nervous so he proceeded to drink the vodka. After the first couple of hits he gave a lengthy sermon. After Mass he returned to his cubicle and found the following note on his door
#1---sip the vodka, don't gulp it
#2---there are Ten Commandments, not twelve
#3---there are twelve disciples, not ten
#4---Jesus was consecrated, not constipated
#5---Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass
#6---We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
#7---The father, the Son and the Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook
#8---David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him
#9---When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, we do not say he was stoned off his ass
#10---We do not refer to the Holy Cross as the Big T
#11---When Jesus broke bread at The Last Supper he said "Take this and eat for it is my body", he did not say "eat me"
#12---The Virgin Mary is not referred to as "Mary with the cherry"
#13---The recommended grace before a meal is not "rub-a-dub-dub thanks for the grub, yeah God!
#14---Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St Peters, not a peter-pulling contest at St Taffys
A young priest was nervous before having his first... (
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This sure sounds like a BB post. Thanks for posting sure wish that I know what was going on in Humble Texas.
BadFisherman wrote:
A young priest was nervous before having his first Mass. So, the Monsignor told him to place a glass of vodka beside the water glass and if he felt nervous, to take a little sip, so at his mass the young priest did as the Monsignor suggested. He started the Mass and immediately felt nervous so he proceeded to drink the vodka. After the first couple of hits he gave a lengthy sermon. After Mass he returned to his cubicle and found the following note on his door
#1---sip the vodka, don't gulp it
#2---there are Ten Commandments, not twelve
#3---there are twelve disciples, not ten
#4---Jesus was consecrated, not constipated
#5---Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass
#6---We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
#7---The father, the Son and the Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook
#8---David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him
#9---When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, we do not say he was stoned off his ass
#10---We do not refer to the Holy Cross as the Big T
#11---When Jesus broke bread at The Last Supper he said "Take this and eat for it is my body", he did not say "eat me"
#12---The Virgin Mary is not referred to as "Mary with the cherry"
#13---The recommended grace before a meal is not "rub-a-dub-dub thanks for the grub, yeah God!
#14---Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St Peters, not a peter-pulling contest at St Taffys
A young priest was nervous before having his first... (
show quote)
Well bahmer didn't say it so i guess i will.
Amen , Amen
Hey BF is his Badness OK? Hasn't been heard from much.
Huntm22
Loc: Northern Utah. - West Haven
BadFisherman wrote:
A young priest was nervous before having his first Mass. So, the Monsignor told him to place a glass of vodka beside the water glass and if he felt nervous, to take a little sip, so at his mass the young priest did as the Monsignor suggested. He started the Mass and immediately felt nervous so he proceeded to drink the vodka. After the first couple of hits he gave a lengthy sermon. After Mass he returned to his cubicle and found the following note on his door
#1---sip the vodka, don't gulp it
#2---there are Ten Commandments, not twelve
#3---there are twelve disciples, not ten
#4---Jesus was consecrated, not constipated
#5---Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass
#6---We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
#7---The father, the Son and the Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook
#8---David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him
#9---When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, we do not say he was stoned off his ass
#10---We do not refer to the Holy Cross as the Big T
#11---When Jesus broke bread at The Last Supper he said "Take this and eat for it is my body", he did not say "eat me"
#12---The Virgin Mary is not referred to as "Mary with the cherry"
#13---The recommended grace before a meal is not "rub-a-dub-dub thanks for the grub, yeah God!
#14---Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St Peters, not a peter-pulling contest at St Taffys
A young priest was nervous before having his first... (
show quote)
Minor slip of the tongue - spoke what he thought !
Spiritof27 wrote:
Hey BF is his Badness OK? Hasn't been heard from much.
I will be checkin' in on The Ol' Feller by the weekend, and will fill in all I can on "His Badness." Just be patient.
Just read this to the wife. Were both laughing our a.. off.
flyguy
Loc: Lake Onalaska, Sunfish Capitol of the World!
Well,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I don't know, BF, you could be in trouble for spreading malicious rumors. May be not.
That would have been quite the sermon. I can hear the congregation talking about it Now!
Rutinbuck wrote:
That would have been quite the sermon. I can hear the congregation talking about it Now!
It isn't hard to imagine that being so.
Gordon
Loc: Charleston South Carolina
BB is bad even he,s not here
Bad Fisherman: This could get you de-frocked. Just Sayin...RJS
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