Merry Christmas everyone!

Did Santa make it to your house??

I'm going to go outside as soon as it gets light to see how bad he tore up the yard since it's 43° and nothing but mud!! Actually we should see about 55° later.

Here's some Santa chuckles for you:

How do you wash your hands over the holiday? With Santatizer.

Why don’t you ever see Santa in a hospital? Because he has private elf care.

Why is Santa afraid of getting stuck in a chimney? He has Claus-trophobia.
Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ho ho ho.

What does Santa do when his elves misbehave? He gives them the sack.

What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.

What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing. It was on the house.

How can you tell that Santa is real? You can always sense his presents.

Why will Santa go down your chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soots him.

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsillitis!

What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? He got 25 days.

What’s the most popular Christmas wine? “But I don’t like Brussels sprouts!”

How does Christmas Day end? With the letter Y!

What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad? A pineapple.

Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey—he’s always stuffed.

I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me that nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace. So I bought her nothing.

My friend just won the tallest Christmas tree competition. I thought to myself, ‘How can you top that?’

A gingerbread man went to the doctor’s complaining of a sore knee. The doctor asked him. “Have you tried icing it?”


Enjoy the day, act like kids, but remember the real reason for this day. Celebrate the birth of our savior!

Merry Christmas!!