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Some Things To Think About
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Apr 5, 2024 14:14:09   #
CoDen Loc: Little R, SC
 
seesalt wrote:
-----


Good ones Seasalt, will be passing on
🌴😎🌴


1. If a bottle of poison reaches its expiration date, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?


02. Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?


03. Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?


04. Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.


05. The word "swims" upside-down is still "swims".


06. Over 100 years ago, everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.


07. If people evolved from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?


08. Why is there a 'D' in fridge, but not in refrigerator?


09. As I've grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but ticking everyone off is a piece of cake!


10. I'm responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


11. Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it the most never use it.


12. My tolerance for idiots is extremely low these days. I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously, there's a new strain out there.


14. It's not my age that bothers me - it's the side effects.


15. I'm not saying I'm old and worn out, but I make sure I'm nowhere near the curb on trash day.


16. As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, I'm sure of one thing: it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.


17. As I've gotten older, people think I've become lazy. The truth is I'm just being more energy-efficient.


18. I haven't gotten anything done today. I've been in the Produce Department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.


19. If you find yourself feeling useless, remember: it took 20 years, trillions of dollars, thousands of lives and four presidents to replace the Taliban with the Taliban.


20. Turns out that being a "senior" is mostly just googling how to do stuff.


21. I want to be 18 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.


22. I'm on two simultaneous diets. I wasn't getting enough food on one.


23. I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.


24. My mind is like an internet browser. At least 18 open tabs, 3 of them are frozen, and I have no clue where the music is coming from.


25. Hard to believe I once had a phone attached to a wall, and when it rang, I picked it up without knowing who was calling.


26. My wife says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found mute by now.


27. There is no such thing as a grouchy old person. The truth is that once you get old, you stop being polite and start being honest.
----- br br br Good ones Seasalt, will be passi... (show quote)

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Apr 5, 2024 15:01:36   #
EasternOZ Loc: Kansas City Metro
 
Some twins have it rough



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Apr 5, 2024 15:46:59   #
CoDen Loc: Little R, SC
 
EasternOZ wrote:
Some twins have it rough


lol. That’s funny. My Brothers are identical too. Some of kids in school used to say “here comes I see Double”. lol 🌴😎🌴

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Apr 5, 2024 15:49:58   #
EasternOZ Loc: Kansas City Metro
 
CoDen wrote:
lol. That’s funny. My Brothers are identical too. Some of kids in school used to say “here comes I see Double”. lol 🌴😎🌴


LOL

Reply
Apr 5, 2024 17:15:02   #
DCGravity Loc: Fairfax, VA (by way of Cleveland OH)
 
seesalt wrote:
-----





1. If a bottle of poison reaches its expiration date, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?


02. Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?


03. Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?


04. Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.


05. The word "swims" upside-down is still "swims".


06. Over 100 years ago, everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.


07. If people evolved from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?


08. Why is there a 'D' in fridge, but not in refrigerator?


09. As I've grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but ticking everyone off is a piece of cake!


10. I'm responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


11. Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it the most never use it.


12. My tolerance for idiots is extremely low these days. I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously, there's a new strain out there.


14. It's not my age that bothers me - it's the side effects.


15. I'm not saying I'm old and worn out, but I make sure I'm nowhere near the curb on trash day.


16. As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, I'm sure of one thing: it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.


17. As I've gotten older, people think I've become lazy. The truth is I'm just being more energy-efficient.


18. I haven't gotten anything done today. I've been in the Produce Department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.


19. If you find yourself feeling useless, remember: it took 20 years, trillions of dollars, thousands of lives and four presidents to replace the Taliban with the Taliban.


20. Turns out that being a "senior" is mostly just googling how to do stuff.


21. I want to be 18 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.


22. I'm on two simultaneous diets. I wasn't getting enough food on one.


23. I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.


24. My mind is like an internet browser. At least 18 open tabs, 3 of them are frozen, and I have no clue where the music is coming from.


25. Hard to believe I once had a phone attached to a wall, and when it rang, I picked it up without knowing who was calling.


26. My wife says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found mute by now.


27. There is no such thing as a grouchy old person. The truth is that once you get old, you stop being polite and start being honest.
----- br br br br br br 1. If a bottle of po... (show quote)


Brilliant, seesalt! Modern day proverbs Steven Wright would be proud of!

Reply
Apr 5, 2024 18:33:23   #
seesalt Loc: Pisgah Forest, NC
 
DCGravity wrote:
Brilliant, seesalt! Modern day proverbs Steven Wright would be proud of!


I can't take credit for them. Sent to me by a buddy. Just thought they were worth sharing.

Reply
Apr 5, 2024 21:33:29   #
6482bodean Loc: Northern Indiana
 
seesalt wrote:
-----

All our good points to ponder. The answer to number two: neither one is silent.



1. If a bottle of poison reaches its expiration date, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?


02. Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?


03. Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?


04. Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.


05. The word "swims" upside-down is still "swims".


06. Over 100 years ago, everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.


07. If people evolved from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?


08. Why is there a 'D' in fridge, but not in refrigerator?


09. As I've grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but ticking everyone off is a piece of cake!


10. I'm responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


11. Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it the most never use it.


12. My tolerance for idiots is extremely low these days. I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously, there's a new strain out there.


14. It's not my age that bothers me - it's the side effects.


15. I'm not saying I'm old and worn out, but I make sure I'm nowhere near the curb on trash day.


16. As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, I'm sure of one thing: it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.


17. As I've gotten older, people think I've become lazy. The truth is I'm just being more energy-efficient.


18. I haven't gotten anything done today. I've been in the Produce Department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.


19. If you find yourself feeling useless, remember: it took 20 years, trillions of dollars, thousands of lives and four presidents to replace the Taliban with the Taliban.


20. Turns out that being a "senior" is mostly just googling how to do stuff.


21. I want to be 18 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.


22. I'm on two simultaneous diets. I wasn't getting enough food on one.


23. I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.


24. My mind is like an internet browser. At least 18 open tabs, 3 of them are frozen, and I have no clue where the music is coming from.


25. Hard to believe I once had a phone attached to a wall, and when it rang, I picked it up without knowing who was calling.


26. My wife says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found mute by now.


27. There is no such thing as a grouchy old person. The truth is that once you get old, you stop being polite and start being honest.
----- br br All our good points to ponder. The a... (show quote)

Reply
 
 
Apr 5, 2024 22:12:16   #
Robert J Samples Loc: Round Rock, Texas
 
All these sayings were so grand, I read them to my wife! She laughed too! Just Sayin...RJS

Reply
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