hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas

I was standing at the bar at the VFW (Veteran of Foreign Wars) one night minding my own business. This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"
I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."
Cost me 6 stitches... but, When you’re Eighty..............who cares?

I went to the drug store and told the clerk "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”
I said "Nah... She's purty good lookin'....."
When you’re Eighty who cares?.........

I was talking to a young woman in the VFW last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.”
I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”
Cost me a fat lip, but... When you’re Eighty...............who cares?

I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.
“Really" she said, "Go on then... try.”
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
Cost me a kick in the nuts, but... When you’re Eighty...............who cares?

I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in...
When you’re Eighty............ who cares?

I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.
I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
Cost me 6 more stitches, but... When you’re Eighty......... who cares?

"Count your life by smiles, not tears, Count your age by friends, not years,
and remember we do not quit playing because we grow old.... we grow old
because we quit playing"...

Good words to live by unless you’re Eighty, who cares.......
Hack 🇺🇸🍺🍺

Steelhead Mickey Loc: NJ

Good ones Hack!
Can’t wait’til I’m 80!

flyguy Loc: Lake Onalaska, Sunfish Capitol of the World!

I'm 791/2 is that close enough, I don't care. Good one again, Hack.

Fredfish Loc: Prospect CT.

I hope Medicare is still around when I'm 80, it looks like I'm gonna need it.

Jer Loc: N. Illinois 🇺🇸

Another group of good ones and they provided some great laughs.
Keep them coming, Hack.
🥃🇺🇸🇺🇸

hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas

Thanks Brother Jer. I sure will when I’m able.👍
Hack 🇺🇸🍺🍺

Ne. fisherman Loc: Central Nebraska Arnold

More good ones, Hack! 80 is coming faster then one thinks!

hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas

Yes Sir it is. Just two more years for me. I’m glad you liked those fisherman.
Hack 🇺🇸🍺🍺

hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas

Why do you say that Fred? Are you pulling some stunts you’re not supposed to? 🤣
Hack 🇺🇸🍺🍺

hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas

Close enough for me fly. Thanks much fly.
Hack 🇺🇸🍺🍺

hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas

Same here Steelhead. I really don’t care now and I’m 78. No telling what’s gonna happen when I’m in my 80’s.
Hack 🇺🇸🍺🍺

Fredfish Loc: Prospect CT.

Let's just say I've been known to be honest in my comments.

hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas

Ok. We’ll let it go at that. If you’re like me, you speak the t***h. My wife gets embarrassed but I’m not two faced.
Hack 🇺🇸🍺🍺

Fredfish Loc: Prospect CT.

Mine does too, and I tell her, If you don't wanna hear the t***h, don't ask me.

Robert J Samples Loc: Round Rock, Texas

Well here it was open season for h****rs over 80 and I didn't know it! But sounds like you've met some tough hides who gave you a black eye or cut lip! I might better stay home cause some of these fillies down here carry a pistol and aren't afraid to use it. After all, I am sort of like a dog chasing a car, he doesn't know what to do with it if he caught one! Just Sayin...RJS