EasternOZ Loc: Kansas City Metro

Men's age as determined by a trip to Home Depot



You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house- mowing
the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or wh**ever.
You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old
work clothes on.. You know the outfit - shorts with the hole in crotch,
old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis
shoes.

Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize!
you need to run to Home Depot to get some thing to help complete the
job.

Depending on your age you might do the following:

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In your 20's:

Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair,
brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in
the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you
never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the
checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the
register.

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In your 30's:

Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes.
You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and
comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a
shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running
the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

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In your 40's:

Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to
cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes
and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost
empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot.
Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The
spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you
feel weird thinking she is spicy.

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In your 50's:

Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands
onto your shirt.
Change shoes because you don't want to get dog doo-doo in your new
sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that
shirt anymore because it makes you look fat The Cutie running the
register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have
it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer
Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms.'

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In your 60's:

Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog
doo-doo off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your
50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in
your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't
have your glasses on so you are not sure.

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In your 70's:

Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store
has your prescriptions ready, too.
Don't even notice the dog doo-doo on your shoes. The young thing at the
register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.

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In your 80's:

Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you
remember you needed to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead and
wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out
loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school
with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.

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In your 90's & beyond:

What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden? Where am I? Who am
I? Why am I reading this? Did I send it? Did you? Who farted?

Slimshady Loc: Central Pennsylvania

The sad part is Oz,you pretty much nailed it

EasternOZ Loc: Kansas City Metro

Have too check with bb he is the elder resident.

plumbob Loc: New Windsor Maryland

So your saying no Home Depot after 100? Dang nothing to look forward to after the buffet at 4 Pm

EasternOZ Loc: Kansas City Metro

5' O clock somewhere

I had 2 Great Grandmother's that lived over 100 on my Mother's side

I kinda hope I didn't get that gene

Able Man Loc: North Coast (Cleveland, Ohio)

Thanks for the laughs this morning, EO!

Mauwehu Loc: Norwalk Ct

Funny and right on! You forgot one thing— drive twenty miles an hour there and back because you found a reason to get out of the house and are in no hurry to get back to work AND piss off all the other guys who’d like to get back home and finish the project.

EasternOZ Loc: Kansas City Metro

Depends on the project

Big A Loc: Mesa, Arizona

At that age, wouldn't you be looking forward to your nap after the buffet ?