get rich
Aug 22, 2021 12:58:26 #
Beggar: Actually I am an author. I wrote ‘100 ways to become rich’
Mr. Roger: Then why are you begging?
Beggar: This is one of the ways to become rich.
Coach: We have a great team this year. So far we have had no losses, no draws and no goals scored against us.
Reporter: How many games have you played?
Coach: The first one is next Sunday.
A man drives a train in Bulgaria. One day, he falls asleep driving and runs over someone walking on the tracks. Well, his case goes to court, and he gets the death sentence for murder
So, he’s on death row and the executioner approaches him.
“What would you like for your last meal?”
“I would like a banana please.”
The executioner thinks it’s weird, but shrugs and gives him a banana. The guy eats his banana, waits a while, and gets strapped into the electric chair.
When the flip the switch, nothing happens! In Bulgaria, such an act of divine intervention means you get released.
A few months go by, and the train driver has been working for a new company. Well, old habits die hard, and he falls asleep again, killing 2 people this time. The court has no patience for recklessness, so he ends up on death row again. After a while, the same executioner from last time approaches him.
“You again? Dang! What do you want this time?”
“Two bananas please.”
The executioner shrugs and hands him two bananas. A bit weird, but whatever. There’s no way he can cheat death twice! But, when they flip the switch, nothing happens again. The train driver walks a second time.
Some time passes, and the executioner is very busy. After another few months, the same dude shows up, apparently having run over 3 people with a train. Exacerbated, the executioner approaches him for the third time.
“Let me guess. Three bananas?”
“Actually yes! How did you know?”
“Too bad! This has gone on long enough. No more bananas! Today you fry.”
So, the train driver gets strapped into the chair with no last meal. But, when they flip the switch, nothing happens again.
“I don’t get it,” says the executioner. “I didn’t let you eat any bananas!”
“It’s not the bananas.” Sighed the prisoner. “I’m a very bad conductor.”
The sisters are very cautious throughout their first days there, however the oldest sister accidentally steps on a duck. God then came walking up with this ugly man and handcuffed the man to the oldest sister. God said “As a punishment for stepping on A duck you will have to spend the rest of eternity with this man.” The other sisters knowing the punishment take extra caution over the next couple of days. Unfortunately the middle sister could not avoid it anymore and accidentally stepped on a duck. Again god walked up and handcuffed a hideous man to the middle sister for eternity. The youngest sister made sure to always watch her step and after about a month or so god came walking up to her with an attractive young man and handcuffed them together. God then started to walk away when the youngest sister stopped him and said “ But god, I did not step on a duck” To which god replied “Yes, but he did
A college student picked up his date at her parent’s home. He’d scraped together every cent he had to take her to a fancy restaurant. To his dismay, she ordered almost everything expensive on the menu – appetizers, lobster, champagne… the works.
Finally, he asked her, “Does your Mother feed you like this at home?”
“No,” she said, “but my Mother’s not looking to get laid.”
Mr. Roger: Then why are you begging?
Beggar: This is one of the ways to become rich.
Coach: We have a great team this year. So far we have had no losses, no draws and no goals scored against us.
Reporter: How many games have you played?
Coach: The first one is next Sunday.
A man drives a train in Bulgaria. One day, he falls asleep driving and runs over someone walking on the tracks. Well, his case goes to court, and he gets the death sentence for murder
So, he’s on death row and the executioner approaches him.
“What would you like for your last meal?”
“I would like a banana please.”
The executioner thinks it’s weird, but shrugs and gives him a banana. The guy eats his banana, waits a while, and gets strapped into the electric chair.
When the flip the switch, nothing happens! In Bulgaria, such an act of divine intervention means you get released.
A few months go by, and the train driver has been working for a new company. Well, old habits die hard, and he falls asleep again, killing 2 people this time. The court has no patience for recklessness, so he ends up on death row again. After a while, the same executioner from last time approaches him.
“You again? Dang! What do you want this time?”
“Two bananas please.”
The executioner shrugs and hands him two bananas. A bit weird, but whatever. There’s no way he can cheat death twice! But, when they flip the switch, nothing happens again. The train driver walks a second time.
Some time passes, and the executioner is very busy. After another few months, the same dude shows up, apparently having run over 3 people with a train. Exacerbated, the executioner approaches him for the third time.
“Let me guess. Three bananas?”
“Actually yes! How did you know?”
“Too bad! This has gone on long enough. No more bananas! Today you fry.”
So, the train driver gets strapped into the chair with no last meal. But, when they flip the switch, nothing happens again.
“I don’t get it,” says the executioner. “I didn’t let you eat any bananas!”
“It’s not the bananas.” Sighed the prisoner. “I’m a very bad conductor.”
The sisters are very cautious throughout their first days there, however the oldest sister accidentally steps on a duck. God then came walking up with this ugly man and handcuffed the man to the oldest sister. God said “As a punishment for stepping on A duck you will have to spend the rest of eternity with this man.” The other sisters knowing the punishment take extra caution over the next couple of days. Unfortunately the middle sister could not avoid it anymore and accidentally stepped on a duck. Again god walked up and handcuffed a hideous man to the middle sister for eternity. The youngest sister made sure to always watch her step and after about a month or so god came walking up to her with an attractive young man and handcuffed them together. God then started to walk away when the youngest sister stopped him and said “ But god, I did not step on a duck” To which god replied “Yes, but he did
A college student picked up his date at her parent’s home. He’d scraped together every cent he had to take her to a fancy restaurant. To his dismay, she ordered almost everything expensive on the menu – appetizers, lobster, champagne… the works.
Finally, he asked her, “Does your Mother feed you like this at home?”
“No,” she said, “but my Mother’s not looking to get laid.”
Aug 23, 2021 14:03:21 #
Able Man
Loc: North Coast (Cleveland, Ohio)
¡Man, I SURE AM awful glad, that I didn't have anything but air in my mouth, on that LAST ONE!
Aug 23, 2021 15:04:53 #
Aug 23, 2021 21:25:47 #
Great story. When I was at the academy, we were rewarded with chits for very high grades from two of the restaurants in CS. They were used as part of the chips in the poker games. It was nice to have a few of those to feed the dates and a lot cheaper. I really don't recall too much about after the meals, but, then again, I'm 80 years old.
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