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May 1, 2021 15:26:16   #
badbobby Loc: Humble Texas
 
Granpa to grandson---"in the winter,we would ice skate on our pond.in the summer we would swim in the pond,and we would swing on a rope to launch ourselves into the pond.
We would explore the woods nearby,and pick wild berries from the bushes.We had ponies to ride,and we had races."
Grandson to granpa---"gee Gramps,I wish i had got to know you a little sooner'


Eastern Oz,plumbob and Big A are out for a stroll.
onOz remarks"It's windy"
plumreplies "No,it's Thursday"
Big says "I am too,lets go get a beer'


bb was having hearing problems and went to a specialist.
The specialist fitted him with hearing aids that brought his hearing back to normal.He told bb"Come back in a week for adjustments.'
When bb returned ,no adjustments were needed,everything was perfect.
The specialist said"your family must be delighted that you can hear everything now"
bb replied"I haven't told them.I just sit quietly and listen to everything they say.
I've changed my will three times now"


Hospital rules state that patients checking out must use wheel chairs
One day a newly graduated nurses assistant came into a room to find an elderly man,fully dressed,sitting in the chair beside the bed,with luggage packed,ready to go.
When presented with the wheel chair,he laughed and said "i am perfectly capable to walk,young lady'.But the young lady quoted the hospital rules and insisted he sit in the wheel chair.
so he relented and sat down in the wheel chair.
The assistant rolled him out of the room,into an elevator and through the lobby to the outer doors.
"IS your wife picking you up sir"she asked
The old man said"No maa'm,It takes her quite a while to get ready to go,so she is still up in her bathroom,taking off her hospital gown and getting dressed"



Fourchon and his wife were having short term memory lapses.
they consulted a doctor who examined them and told them that physically they were in fine shape for their age. But that maybe they should write things down,since they were forgetting things.
that evening they were in their living room watching TV.
Four got out of his chair and said"I'm going to the kitchen dear,can i get you anything?"
His wife said"Well yes dear,you can get me a dish of vanilla ice cream.Maybe you ought to write that down,so you won't forget'
"Naw",said Four I can remember that.Was there any thing else?"
His wife said"well,yes,I'd like some strawberries on that Ice cream.Why don't you write that down,so you won't forget"/
"Aw",I can remember that"Four replied."now was there anything else you wanted dear?"
She replied"now that I think of it ,I'd like some chocolate syrup over that ice cream and straw berries.Now honey,that is

an awful lot to remember,you should write that down
But Four just laughed and went into the kitchen.
half an hour later he returned and gave her a plate of scrambled eggs
She stared at the scrambled eggs for a minute and said"You old fool,I told you to write everything down!You forgot my toast!!!"



On an overseas flight ,a lawyer sat beside an old man.
The lawyer asked the old man if he would like to play a game,just to pass the time.
But the old man was tired and told the lawyer that he was very tired and just wanted to sleep
But the lawyer insisted,saying the game was lots of fun."here's how it works.I ask you a question and if you cant answer correctly you give me a dollar.
Then it's your turn to ask me a question and if I can't answer correctly,I give you twenty dollars'
The old man figured if he played the game once,then he could get some sleep,so he said okay.
The lawyer then asked him"how far apart is our earth and the planet Mars?"
The old man admitted he didn't know and handed the lawyer a dollar bill.
Then he asked"What goes up the stairs backward and comes down the stairs frontward"?
The lawyer was stumped and had no answer.So he gave the old man twenty dollars.
The lawyer was upset,and finally asked the old man"What goes up the stairs backward and comes down the stairs frontward"??
The old man handed the lawyer a dollar,turned his back on him and went to sleep.
warning to you youngsters--Don't mess with old folks

The Senility Prayer

God grant me senility
to forget the people
I never liked anyway
The good fortune to
run into the ones I do like
And the eyesight to tell the difference

Reply
May 1, 2021 15:46:08   #
Fredfish Loc: Prospect CT.
 
badbobby wrote:
Granpa to grandson---"in the winter,we would ice skate on our pond.in the summer we would swim in the pond,and we would swing on a rope to launch ourselves into the pond.
We would explore the woods nearby,and pick wild berries from the bushes.We had ponies to ride,and we had races."
Grandson to granpa---"gee Gramps,I wish i had got to know you a little sooner'


Eastern Oz,plumbob and Big A are out for a stroll.
onOz remarks"It's windy"
plumreplies "No,it's Thursday"
Big says "I am too,lets go get a beer'


bb was having hearing problems and went to a specialist.
The specialist fitted him with hearing aids that brought his hearing back to normal.He told bb"Come back in a week for adjustments.'
When bb returned ,no adjustments were needed,everything was perfect.
The specialist said"your family must be delighted that you can hear everything now"
bb replied"I haven't told them.I just sit quietly and listen to everything they say.
I've changed my will three times now"


Hospital rules state that patients checking out must use wheel chairs
One day a newly graduated nurses assistant came into a room to find an elderly man,fully dressed,sitting in the chair beside the bed,with luggage packed,ready to go.
When presented with the wheel chair,he laughed and said "i am perfectly capable to walk,young lady'.But the young lady quoted the hospital rules and insisted he sit in the wheel chair.
so he relented and sat down in the wheel chair.
The assistant rolled him out of the room,into an elevator and through the lobby to the outer doors.
"IS your wife picking you up sir"she asked
The old man said"No maa'm,It takes her quite a while to get ready to go,so she is still up in her bathroom,taking off her hospital gown and getting dressed"



Fourchon and his wife were having short term memory lapses.
they consulted a doctor who examined them and told them that physically they were in fine shape for their age. But that maybe they should write things down,since they were forgetting things.
that evening they were in their living room watching TV.
Four got out of his chair and said"I'm going to the kitchen dear,can i get you anything?"
His wife said"Well yes dear,you can get me a dish of vanilla ice cream.Maybe you ought to write that down,so you won't forget'
"Naw",said Four I can remember that.Was there any thing else?"
His wife said"well,yes,I'd like some strawberries on that Ice cream.Why don't you write that down,so you won't forget"/
"Aw",I can remember that"Four replied."now was there anything else you wanted dear?"
She replied"now that I think of it ,I'd like some chocolate syrup over that ice cream and straw berries.Now honey,that is

an awful lot to remember,you should write that down
But Four just laughed and went into the kitchen.
half an hour later he returned and gave her a plate of scrambled eggs
She stared at the scrambled eggs for a minute and said"You old fool,I told you to write everything down!You forgot my toast!!!"



On an overseas flight ,a lawyer sat beside an old man.
The lawyer asked the old man if he would like to play a game,just to pass the time.
But the old man was tired and told the lawyer that he was very tired and just wanted to sleep
But the lawyer insisted,saying the game was lots of fun."here's how it works.I ask you a question and if you cant answer correctly you give me a dollar.
Then it's your turn to ask me a question and if I can't answer correctly,I give you twenty dollars'
The old man figured if he played the game once,then he could get some sleep,so he said okay.
The lawyer then asked him"how far apart is our earth and the planet Mars?"
The old man admitted he didn't know and handed the lawyer a dollar bill.
Then he asked"What goes up the stairs backward and comes down the stairs frontward"?
The lawyer was stumped and had no answer.So he gave the old man twenty dollars.
The lawyer was upset,and finally asked the old man"What goes up the stairs backward and comes down the stairs frontward"??
The old man handed the lawyer a dollar,turned his back on him and went to sleep.
warning to you youngsters--Don't mess with old folks

The Senility Prayer

God grant me senility
to forget the people
I never liked anyway
The good fortune to
run into the ones I do like
And the eyesight to tell the difference
Granpa to grandson---"in the winter,we would ... (show quote)



Reply
May 1, 2021 16:57:15   #
bahmer Loc: Northern Illinois Rockford
 
badbobby wrote:
Granpa to grandson---"in the winter,we would ice skate on our pond.in the summer we would swim in the pond,and we would swing on a rope to launch ourselves into the pond.
We would explore the woods nearby,and pick wild berries from the bushes.We had ponies to ride,and we had races."
Grandson to granpa---"gee Gramps,I wish i had got to know you a little sooner'


Eastern Oz,plumbob and Big A are out for a stroll.
onOz remarks"It's windy"
plumreplies "No,it's Thursday"
Big says "I am too,lets go get a beer'


bb was having hearing problems and went to a specialist.
The specialist fitted him with hearing aids that brought his hearing back to normal.He told bb"Come back in a week for adjustments.'
When bb returned ,no adjustments were needed,everything was perfect.
The specialist said"your family must be delighted that you can hear everything now"
bb replied"I haven't told them.I just sit quietly and listen to everything they say.
I've changed my will three times now"


Hospital rules state that patients checking out must use wheel chairs
One day a newly graduated nurses assistant came into a room to find an elderly man,fully dressed,sitting in the chair beside the bed,with luggage packed,ready to go.
When presented with the wheel chair,he laughed and said "i am perfectly capable to walk,young lady'.But the young lady quoted the hospital rules and insisted he sit in the wheel chair.
so he relented and sat down in the wheel chair.
The assistant rolled him out of the room,into an elevator and through the lobby to the outer doors.
"IS your wife picking you up sir"she asked
The old man said"No maa'm,It takes her quite a while to get ready to go,so she is still up in her bathroom,taking off her hospital gown and getting dressed"



Fourchon and his wife were having short term memory lapses.
they consulted a doctor who examined them and told them that physically they were in fine shape for their age. But that maybe they should write things down,since they were forgetting things.
that evening they were in their living room watching TV.
Four got out of his chair and said"I'm going to the kitchen dear,can i get you anything?"
His wife said"Well yes dear,you can get me a dish of vanilla ice cream.Maybe you ought to write that down,so you won't forget'
"Naw",said Four I can remember that.Was there any thing else?"
His wife said"well,yes,I'd like some strawberries on that Ice cream.Why don't you write that down,so you won't forget"/
"Aw",I can remember that"Four replied."now was there anything else you wanted dear?"
She replied"now that I think of it ,I'd like some chocolate syrup over that ice cream and straw berries.Now honey,that is

an awful lot to remember,you should write that down
But Four just laughed and went into the kitchen.
half an hour later he returned and gave her a plate of scrambled eggs
She stared at the scrambled eggs for a minute and said"You old fool,I told you to write everything down!You forgot my toast!!!"



On an overseas flight ,a lawyer sat beside an old man.
The lawyer asked the old man if he would like to play a game,just to pass the time.
But the old man was tired and told the lawyer that he was very tired and just wanted to sleep
But the lawyer insisted,saying the game was lots of fun."here's how it works.I ask you a question and if you cant answer correctly you give me a dollar.
Then it's your turn to ask me a question and if I can't answer correctly,I give you twenty dollars'
The old man figured if he played the game once,then he could get some sleep,so he said okay.
The lawyer then asked him"how far apart is our earth and the planet Mars?"
The old man admitted he didn't know and handed the lawyer a dollar bill.
Then he asked"What goes up the stairs backward and comes down the stairs frontward"?
The lawyer was stumped and had no answer.So he gave the old man twenty dollars.
The lawyer was upset,and finally asked the old man"What goes up the stairs backward and comes down the stairs frontward"??
The old man handed the lawyer a dollar,turned his back on him and went to sleep.
warning to you youngsters--Don't mess with old folks

The Senility Prayer

God grant me senility
to forget the people
I never liked anyway
The good fortune to
run into the ones I do like
And the eyesight to tell the difference
Granpa to grandson---"in the winter,we would ... (show quote)


Good ones badbobby thanks.

Reply
 
 
May 1, 2021 17:24:43   #
FourchonLa. Loc: Fourchon Louisiana, South Louisiana
 
badbobby wrote:
Granpa to grandson---"in the winter,we would ice skate on our pond.in the summer we would swim in the pond,and we would swing on a rope to launch ourselves into the pond.
We would explore the woods nearby,and pick wild berries from the bushes.We had ponies to ride,and we had races."
Grandson to granpa---"gee Gramps,I wish i had got to know you a little sooner'


Eastern Oz,plumbob and Big A are out for a stroll.
onOz remarks"It's windy"
plumreplies "No,it's Thursday"
Big says "I am too,lets go get a beer'


bb was having hearing problems and went to a specialist.
The specialist fitted him with hearing aids that brought his hearing back to normal.He told bb"Come back in a week for adjustments.'
When bb returned ,no adjustments were needed,everything was perfect.
The specialist said"your family must be delighted that you can hear everything now"
bb replied"I haven't told them.I just sit quietly and listen to everything they say.
I've changed my will three times now"


Hospital rules state that patients checking out must use wheel chairs
One day a newly graduated nurses assistant came into a room to find an elderly man,fully dressed,sitting in the chair beside the bed,with luggage packed,ready to go.
When presented with the wheel chair,he laughed and said "i am perfectly capable to walk,young lady'.But the young lady quoted the hospital rules and insisted he sit in the wheel chair.
so he relented and sat down in the wheel chair.
The assistant rolled him out of the room,into an elevator and through the lobby to the outer doors.
"IS your wife picking you up sir"she asked
The old man said"No maa'm,It takes her quite a while to get ready to go,so she is still up in her bathroom,taking off her hospital gown and getting dressed"



Fourchon and his wife were having short term memory lapses.
they consulted a doctor who examined them and told them that physically they were in fine shape for their age. But that maybe they should write things down,since they were forgetting things.
that evening they were in their living room watching TV.
Four got out of his chair and said"I'm going to the kitchen dear,can i get you anything?"
His wife said"Well yes dear,you can get me a dish of vanilla ice cream.Maybe you ought to write that down,so you won't forget'
"Naw",said Four I can remember that.Was there any thing else?"
His wife said"well,yes,I'd like some strawberries on that Ice cream.Why don't you write that down,so you won't forget"/
"Aw",I can remember that"Four replied."now was there anything else you wanted dear?"
She replied"now that I think of it ,I'd like some chocolate syrup over that ice cream and straw berries.Now honey,that is

an awful lot to remember,you should write that down
But Four just laughed and went into the kitchen.
half an hour later he returned and gave her a plate of scrambled eggs
She stared at the scrambled eggs for a minute and said"You old fool,I told you to write everything down!You forgot my toast!!!"



On an overseas flight ,a lawyer sat beside an old man.
The lawyer asked the old man if he would like to play a game,just to pass the time.
But the old man was tired and told the lawyer that he was very tired and just wanted to sleep
But the lawyer insisted,saying the game was lots of fun."here's how it works.I ask you a question and if you cant answer correctly you give me a dollar.
Then it's your turn to ask me a question and if I can't answer correctly,I give you twenty dollars'
The old man figured if he played the game once,then he could get some sleep,so he said okay.
The lawyer then asked him"how far apart is our earth and the planet Mars?"
The old man admitted he didn't know and handed the lawyer a dollar bill.
Then he asked"What goes up the stairs backward and comes down the stairs frontward"?
The lawyer was stumped and had no answer.So he gave the old man twenty dollars.
The lawyer was upset,and finally asked the old man"What goes up the stairs backward and comes down the stairs frontward"??
The old man handed the lawyer a dollar,turned his back on him and went to sleep.
warning to you youngsters--Don't mess with old folks

The Senility Prayer

God grant me senility
to forget the people
I never liked anyway
The good fortune to
run into the ones I do like
And the eyesight to tell the difference
Granpa to grandson---"in the winter,we would ... (show quote)


I believe my memory lapses have more to do with being repeatedly run over by the bus than with age. I think. 😵😵😵

Reply
May 1, 2021 17:27:49   #
badbobby Loc: Humble Texas
 
FourchonLa. wrote:
I believe my memory lapses have more to do with being repeatedly run over by the bus than with age. I think. 😵😵😵


that damn reckless plumbob

Reply
May 1, 2021 17:31:38   #
FourchonLa. Loc: Fourchon Louisiana, South Louisiana
 
badbobby wrote:
that damn reckless plumbob


How much is Oz paying you for that post?

Reply
May 1, 2021 17:32:54   #
badbobby Loc: Humble Texas
 
FourchonLa. wrote:
How much is Oz paying you for that post?


more than you have offered me

Reply
 
 
May 1, 2021 17:34:30   #
FourchonLa. Loc: Fourchon Louisiana, South Louisiana
 
badbobby wrote:
more than you have offered me


I knew you were easy but come on!

Reply
May 1, 2021 17:36:04   #
badbobby Loc: Humble Texas
 
FourchonLa. wrote:
I knew you were easy but come on!


why you wanna pick on Oz???

Reply
May 1, 2021 17:41:11   #
FourchonLa. Loc: Fourchon Louisiana, South Louisiana
 
badbobby wrote:
why you wanna pick on Oz???


Thought I saw him in the driver’s seat. Probably you with a mask on.

Reply
May 1, 2021 17:42:58   #
badbobby Loc: Humble Texas
 
FourchonLa. wrote:
Thought I saw him in the driver’s seat. Probably you with a mask on.


keep tellin you
it's plum

Reply
 
 
May 1, 2021 17:47:04   #
Able Man Loc: North Coast (Cleveland, Ohio)
 
¡Good ones, badbobby! (I especially liked the one on the airplane!)

Reply
May 2, 2021 09:20:10   #
kandydisbar Loc: West Orange, NJ
 
badbobby wrote:
Granpa to grandson---"in the winter,we would ice skate on our pond.in the summer we would swim in the pond,and we would swing on a rope to launch ourselves into the pond.
We would explore the woods nearby,and pick wild berries from the bushes.We had ponies to ride,and we had races."
Grandson to granpa---"gee Gramps,I wish i had got to know you a little sooner'


Eastern Oz,plumbob and Big A are out for a stroll.
onOz remarks"It's windy"
plumreplies "No,it's Thursday"
Big says "I am too,lets go get a beer'


bb was having hearing problems and went to a specialist.
The specialist fitted him with hearing aids that brought his hearing back to normal.He told bb"Come back in a week for adjustments.'
When bb returned ,no adjustments were needed,everything was perfect.
The specialist said"your family must be delighted that you can hear everything now"
bb replied"I haven't told them.I just sit quietly and listen to everything they say.
I've changed my will three times now"


Hospital rules state that patients checking out must use wheel chairs
One day a newly graduated nurses assistant came into a room to find an elderly man,fully dressed,sitting in the chair beside the bed,with luggage packed,ready to go.
When presented with the wheel chair,he laughed and said "i am perfectly capable to walk,young lady'.But the young lady quoted the hospital rules and insisted he sit in the wheel chair.
so he relented and sat down in the wheel chair.
The assistant rolled him out of the room,into an elevator and through the lobby to the outer doors.
"IS your wife picking you up sir"she asked
The old man said"No maa'm,It takes her quite a while to get ready to go,so she is still up in her bathroom,taking off her hospital gown and getting dressed"



Fourchon and his wife were having short term memory lapses.
they consulted a doctor who examined them and told them that physically they were in fine shape for their age. But that maybe they should write things down,since they were forgetting things.
that evening they were in their living room watching TV.
Four got out of his chair and said"I'm going to the kitchen dear,can i get you anything?"
His wife said"Well yes dear,you can get me a dish of vanilla ice cream.Maybe you ought to write that down,so you won't forget'
"Naw",said Four I can remember that.Was there any thing else?"
His wife said"well,yes,I'd like some strawberries on that Ice cream.Why don't you write that down,so you won't forget"/
"Aw",I can remember that"Four replied."now was there anything else you wanted dear?"
She replied"now that I think of it ,I'd like some chocolate syrup over that ice cream and straw berries.Now honey,that is

an awful lot to remember,you should write that down
But Four just laughed and went into the kitchen.
half an hour later he returned and gave her a plate of scrambled eggs
She stared at the scrambled eggs for a minute and said"You old fool,I told you to write everything down!You forgot my toast!!!"



On an overseas flight ,a lawyer sat beside an old man.
The lawyer asked the old man if he would like to play a game,just to pass the time.
But the old man was tired and told the lawyer that he was very tired and just wanted to sleep
But the lawyer insisted,saying the game was lots of fun."here's how it works.I ask you a question and if you cant answer correctly you give me a dollar.
Then it's your turn to ask me a question and if I can't answer correctly,I give you twenty dollars'
The old man figured if he played the game once,then he could get some sleep,so he said okay.
The lawyer then asked him"how far apart is our earth and the planet Mars?"
The old man admitted he didn't know and handed the lawyer a dollar bill.
Then he asked"What goes up the stairs backward and comes down the stairs frontward"?
The lawyer was stumped and had no answer.So he gave the old man twenty dollars.
The lawyer was upset,and finally asked the old man"What goes up the stairs backward and comes down the stairs frontward"??
The old man handed the lawyer a dollar,turned his back on him and went to sleep.
warning to you youngsters--Don't mess with old folks

The Senility Prayer

God grant me senility
to forget the people
I never liked anyway
The good fortune to
run into the ones I do like
And the eyesight to tell the difference
Granpa to grandson---"in the winter,we would ... (show quote)


Ha ha!

Reply
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