a couple for today
Jan 8, 2021 11:07:44 #
An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favor?”
“Of course child. What may I do for you?”
“Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the customs limits and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Hide it under your robes perhaps?”
“I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie.”
“With your honest face, Father, no one will question you,” she replied.
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare?”
“From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare.”
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, “And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?”
Father replied, “I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, which is, to date, unused.”
Roaring with laughter, the official said, “Go ahead, Father. Next please!”
A six-year-old comes crying to his Mother because his little sister pulled his hair.
“Don’t be angry,” the Mother says, “Your little sister doesn’t realize that pulling hair hurts.”
A short while later, there’s more crying, and the Mother goes to investigate.
This time the sister is bawling and her brother says…
“Now she knows.”
A teacher tells her students to do a good deed for homework. The next day, the students came to school. She asks them what they did.
Student one says “I helped an old lady with her groceries”
The teacher is proud and turns to student two
Student two says “I donated to charity”
The teacher says “very good” and turns to the third student, who has two black eyes.
“What happened?” she asks, worried.
Student three says “I was in a grocery store and a woman near me seemed to have her dress tucked into her a$$. So I noticed and took it out for her. Then she hit me.”
The teacher asks “what about the other black eye?”
The student responds “Well, I saw she was upset, so I put it back in.”
“Of course child. What may I do for you?”
“Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the customs limits and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Hide it under your robes perhaps?”
“I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie.”
“With your honest face, Father, no one will question you,” she replied.
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare?”
“From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare.”
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, “And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?”
Father replied, “I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, which is, to date, unused.”
Roaring with laughter, the official said, “Go ahead, Father. Next please!”
A six-year-old comes crying to his Mother because his little sister pulled his hair.
“Don’t be angry,” the Mother says, “Your little sister doesn’t realize that pulling hair hurts.”
A short while later, there’s more crying, and the Mother goes to investigate.
This time the sister is bawling and her brother says…
“Now she knows.”
A teacher tells her students to do a good deed for homework. The next day, the students came to school. She asks them what they did.
Student one says “I helped an old lady with her groceries”
The teacher is proud and turns to student two
Student two says “I donated to charity”
The teacher says “very good” and turns to the third student, who has two black eyes.
“What happened?” she asks, worried.
Student three says “I was in a grocery store and a woman near me seemed to have her dress tucked into her a$$. So I noticed and took it out for her. Then she hit me.”
The teacher asks “what about the other black eye?”
The student responds “Well, I saw she was upset, so I put it back in.”
Jan 8, 2021 12:16:46 #
Jan 8, 2021 12:20:43 #
Jan 8, 2021 13:14:27 #
Jan 8, 2021 13:30:47 #
Jan 8, 2021 15:15:56 #
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