Kerry Hansen Loc: Bremerton, WA

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as
a Christmas gift...

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied,

"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.....

________________________________


My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while
we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she answered. I then said,

'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

________________________________


I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....

_______________________________


My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"

"Yes", she sighed,

"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...

________________________________


When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting
to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had
something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she
thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall
grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Able Man Loc: North Coast (Cleveland, Ohio)

Thanks for the chuckles, Mr. Hansen!

Lee626 Loc: Brick NJ [ near the Jersey shore ]

They were great, thanks

Fredfish Loc: Prospect CT.

Good ones Kerry, they just don't have a sense of humor.

Catfish hunter Loc: Riggins idaho (Paradise)

Good ones. Thanks

Hogwaller Loc: Garrison Texas

Thanks for the laughs

Spiritof27 Loc: Lincoln, CA

Had me snortin out my nose at "mad cow".

dbed Loc: POMME DE TERRE LAKE MISSOURI

wives would rather fight than laugh

CamT Loc: La Porte, Texas

Keep your back to the wall lol

plumbob Loc: New Windsor Maryland

Better then the Sunday morning funny pages. Yep i remember them too.

Doug Lemmon Loc: Rochester Mills, PA

Ahh yes.. excerpts from my daily life!!!

badbobby Loc: Humble Texas

gooduns Kerry
but tell me
how are you still alive???