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BB's tale of the nervous young priest and vodka
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Sep 16, 2020 18:40:52   #
BadFisherman Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
A young priest was nervous before having his first Mass. So, the Monsignor told him to place a glass of vodka beside the water glass and if he felt nervous, to take a little sip, so at his mass the young priest did as the Monsignor suggested. He started the Mass and immediately felt nervous so he proceeded to drink the vodka. After the first couple of hits he gave a lengthy sermon. After Mass he returned to his cubicle and found the following note on his door

#1---sip the vodka, don't gulp it

#2---there are Ten Commandments, not twelve

#3---there are twelve disciples, not ten

#4---Jesus was consecrated, not constipated

#5---Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass

#6---We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

#7---The father, the Son and the Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook

#8---David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him

#9---When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, we do not say he was stoned off his ass

#10---We do not refer to the Holy Cross as the Big T

#11---When Jesus broke bread at The Last Supper he said "Take this and eat for it is my body", he did not say "eat me"

#12---The Virgin Mary is not referred to as "Mary with the cherry"

#13---The recommended grace before a meal is not "rub-a-dub-dub thanks for the grub, yeah God!

#14---Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St Peters, not a peter-pulling contest at St Taffys

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Sep 16, 2020 18:44:49   #
Ben Bragg Loc: Dayton Ohio
 
Nice

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Sep 16, 2020 18:45:05   #
Ben Bragg Loc: Dayton Ohio
 
Nice

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Sep 16, 2020 18:48:23   #
bahmer Loc: Northern Illinois Rockford
 
BadFisherman wrote:
A young priest was nervous before having his first Mass. So, the Monsignor told him to place a glass of vodka beside the water glass and if he felt nervous, to take a little sip, so at his mass the young priest did as the Monsignor suggested. He started the Mass and immediately felt nervous so he proceeded to drink the vodka. After the first couple of hits he gave a lengthy sermon. After Mass he returned to his cubicle and found the following note on his door

#1---sip the vodka, don't gulp it

#2---there are Ten Commandments, not twelve

#3---there are twelve disciples, not ten

#4---Jesus was consecrated, not constipated

#5---Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass

#6---We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

#7---The father, the Son and the Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook

#8---David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him

#9---When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, we do not say he was stoned off his ass

#10---We do not refer to the Holy Cross as the Big T

#11---When Jesus broke bread at The Last Supper he said "Take this and eat for it is my body", he did not say "eat me"

#12---The Virgin Mary is not referred to as "Mary with the cherry"

#13---The recommended grace before a meal is not "rub-a-dub-dub thanks for the grub, yeah God!

#14---Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St Peters, not a peter-pulling contest at St Taffys
A young priest was nervous before having his first... (show quote)


This sure sounds like a BB post. Thanks for posting sure wish that I know what was going on in Humble Texas.

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Sep 16, 2020 18:57:58   #
plumbob Loc: New Windsor Maryland
 
BadFisherman wrote:
A young priest was nervous before having his first Mass. So, the Monsignor told him to place a glass of vodka beside the water glass and if he felt nervous, to take a little sip, so at his mass the young priest did as the Monsignor suggested. He started the Mass and immediately felt nervous so he proceeded to drink the vodka. After the first couple of hits he gave a lengthy sermon. After Mass he returned to his cubicle and found the following note on his door

#1---sip the vodka, don't gulp it

#2---there are Ten Commandments, not twelve

#3---there are twelve disciples, not ten

#4---Jesus was consecrated, not constipated

#5---Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass

#6---We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

#7---The father, the Son and the Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook

#8---David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him

#9---When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, we do not say he was stoned off his ass

#10---We do not refer to the Holy Cross as the Big T

#11---When Jesus broke bread at The Last Supper he said "Take this and eat for it is my body", he did not say "eat me"

#12---The Virgin Mary is not referred to as "Mary with the cherry"

#13---The recommended grace before a meal is not "rub-a-dub-dub thanks for the grub, yeah God!

#14---Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St Peters, not a peter-pulling contest at St Taffys
A young priest was nervous before having his first... (show quote)


Well bahmer didn't say it so i guess i will.

Amen , Amen

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Sep 16, 2020 19:35:33   #
Spiritof27 Loc: Lincoln, CA
 
Hey BF is his Badness OK? Hasn't been heard from much.

Reply
Sep 16, 2020 19:44:21   #
Huntm22 Loc: Northern Utah. - West Haven
 
BadFisherman wrote:
A young priest was nervous before having his first Mass. So, the Monsignor told him to place a glass of vodka beside the water glass and if he felt nervous, to take a little sip, so at his mass the young priest did as the Monsignor suggested. He started the Mass and immediately felt nervous so he proceeded to drink the vodka. After the first couple of hits he gave a lengthy sermon. After Mass he returned to his cubicle and found the following note on his door

#1---sip the vodka, don't gulp it

#2---there are Ten Commandments, not twelve

#3---there are twelve disciples, not ten

#4---Jesus was consecrated, not constipated

#5---Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass

#6---We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

#7---The father, the Son and the Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook

#8---David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him

#9---When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, we do not say he was stoned off his ass

#10---We do not refer to the Holy Cross as the Big T

#11---When Jesus broke bread at The Last Supper he said "Take this and eat for it is my body", he did not say "eat me"

#12---The Virgin Mary is not referred to as "Mary with the cherry"

#13---The recommended grace before a meal is not "rub-a-dub-dub thanks for the grub, yeah God!

#14---Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St Peters, not a peter-pulling contest at St Taffys
A young priest was nervous before having his first... (show quote)


Minor slip of the tongue - spoke what he thought !

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Sep 16, 2020 19:44:30   #
BadFisherman Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
Spiritof27 wrote:
Hey BF is his Badness OK? Hasn't been heard from much.

I will be checkin' in on The Ol' Feller by the weekend, and will fill in all I can on "His Badness." Just be patient.

Reply
Sep 16, 2020 19:54:13   #
GaryH Loc: Northern Pa.
 
Just read this to the wife. Were both laughing our a.. off.

Reply
Sep 16, 2020 19:56:45   #
BadFisherman Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
plumbob wrote:
Well bahmer didn't say it so i guess i will.

Amen , Amen

Plagiarist

Reply
Sep 16, 2020 20:03:36   #
flyguy Loc: Lake Onalaska, Sunfish Capitol of the World!
 
Well,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I don't know, BF, you could be in trouble for spreading malicious rumors. May be not.

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Sep 16, 2020 20:25:12   #
Rutinbuck Loc: Haysville, Kansas
 
That would have been quite the sermon. I can hear the congregation talking about it Now!

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Sep 16, 2020 20:26:20   #
BadFisherman Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
 
Rutinbuck wrote:
That would have been quite the sermon. I can hear the congregation talking about it Now!

It isn't hard to imagine that being so.

Reply
Sep 16, 2020 20:30:40   #
Gordon Loc: Charleston South Carolina
 
BB is bad even he,s not here

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Sep 16, 2020 21:57:43   #
Robert J Samples Loc: Round Rock, Texas
 
Bad Fisherman: This could get you de-frocked. Just Sayin...RJS

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