Gordon: This stuff would be funny if not for the fact that most of these mishaps involve expensive equipment, to say nothing of the danger to health and life to both the idiots and bystanders. I'm reminded of the old adage, "If brains were leather, he wouldn't have enough to saddle up a june bug".

My advice to boaters with no, or limited experience would be, watch these and related videos. What you learn, could save your life, or the life of others, or the replacement expense of your equipment.

Did these idiots take the short bus to school?

BF: And to all the vets of the army, air force, navy, & coast guard - say what you will about the marines, but they are snappy dressers, eh?

Plum: Key word: "useless". Thanks for the info on the barrel. A long nap inside it may not be that bad. Cheers !!!

Plum: You may want to refer to the purse as a "European Shoulder Bag" if you find yourself in a fervent and hostile PC crowd. But I sure wouldn't use that term on FS from what I've seen the last several weeks. I've seen enough to want to avoid the barrel.

Went in Army in 1966. Discharged in 1969.
Stationed in Germany for most of that time, mobile nuclear tactical missile battalion.
Mike Fain

Thanks PB

I went in the Army in 1996 also. Where did you go for basic training? They sent me to Ft. Polk, LA due to outbreaks of meningitis at Ft. Lewis, WA as well as at Ft. Ord, CA.

Bottom Coon: Your msg to BB about draftees finding themselves in the Marines reminded me of my experience at my induction day in 1996. I had enlisted in the Army, and had arrived at the induction site on the appointed date. As I was waiting for the next step of the process, a Marine sergeant walked briskly out of his office to a place in front of a bunch of draftees. With barely a pause, he said, "I need 6 volunteers - you, you, you, you, you, you - follow me." Those 6 guys were such patriots to volunteer like that. Made me proud to be an American. Thanks for jogging my memory.

Thanks for the nice comments Four. Even though there is the expected occasional bluff (call it legal concealed deceit), these guys I would trust with my life. Kinda crazy to say that when the game will demand a "lie" every now and then. When we started this group, we agreed to rotate the host who would supply refreshments and food. In the early years, a rack and a half of beer would generally get us through the night (about5 hours of play), starting at 8 pm. Nowadays, we are lucky to get through a 6-pack and a few sodas for 7 players, and we start at 6 pm.

We agreed at the start that we keep it at nickel, dime, quarter. It's mostly stayed the same for 43 years and I think it has kept the game friendly. I don't recall any serious squabble over rule interpretations, and no instances of cheating. The risk of betting and raising 2 bits at a time is as guarded and valued as the minimum 5$ bet at a Reno black jack table, which we have visited several times over the years, especially for mile stone anniversaries of our founding. This year, because of the pandemic, we have only gotten together once.

We all kicked in early on for purchasing a box of chips, and added heavy silver 1$ coin tokens we brought back from Reno to fill out the now heavy box. Our clay chips have been embossed in gold lettering. On one side, reading "77 Social Club" (noting the year of our start as well as the pair of 7's as the automatic winner in our favorite game). On the other side, reading "Treys and Jacks". All in all, a nice ride.

Speaking of rides, the longest taxi ride I've ever taken was in a stretch limo with a bunch of Army boot camp grads from Fort Polk, LA to catch flights out of Houston to our homes for short leaves before reassignment.

I'll be looking for your posts my friend.
Mike

Hey PB: Can you add me to your military list?
Mike Fain
US Army '66-'69, Darmstadt, Germany

Thanks in advance.

Happy BD Four. Many more brother !!

Treys & Jacks

Thanks BB. Today you showed us all, the best of humanity. If I had one hope - just one, I would hope & pray that we have the lemmings outnumbered. Best to you man !!
Treys&Jacks

She only needs to think she's right. I may at times, think she's wrong. But unless it's a life or death issue, I don't need to tell her she's wrong. Drama and unnecessary noise avoided, and I get to concentrate on important things without being distracted, like fishing and poker.

GH: More than once during my life I was reminded that "There's no future in being right when your boss is wrong." For me, this was sound thinking - in the Army, at work, at home.
T&J

Ivey:
So sorry you and your wife had to go through something this awful. Similar experience with my daughter and son-in-law. He was alone with a 6 month old baby, in stocking feet, washing dishes when the Seattle police burst into the house while my daughter was away on errands. They cuffed him and put him face down on a cold winter day, leaving the baby in the house unattended. They were also looking for drugs. Daughter arrived while husband was still face down on the ground, she started screaming about what had happened, and what about the baby. Turns out, police had bad information, like your situation. Son-in-law is the gentlest of souls, a great family man, etc. He declined to file a report, "didn't want to cause any trouble."
Every time I think about this, I shudder at the abuse they went through for the heavy handed tactics used against them. I don't think I could have been as charitable. Bless you and your wife.

Treys and Jacks
I have been asked a few times what the story is behind “Treys & Jacks” as my handle. Some background:

Along with 6 others, I have been playing low stakes poker once a month since 1977 (43 Years) when we all were working as consulting engineers and land surveyors. Of the original 7 of us, 6 are still upright and above ground, although one is living in Alaska, but manages to join in a game every once in a while. Of the 6 remaining charter members, all became professional engineers or surveyors and 4 of us had dual registrations before retirement. We have 2 other regulars with engineering backgrounds who have been with us for over 25 years to help fill out a table for 7.

Treys & Jacks, the Old Man with the Axe …. and, a pair of natural 7’s takes the whole sh***’n works. This game is played as 7-card stud, with 3’s, Jacks, and King of Diamonds (Old Man with the Axe) as wild cards. We allow 5 of a kind as superior to Royal Flushes, remaining hands rank as in normal poker. With 7-card stud you have up to three “down” cards which can conceal one or more 7’s from your competition. A pair of natural 7’s wins the pot. In this case, your 5 Aces and all other hands are losers.

So, “Treys and Jacks” is a game we will play 3 or 4 times a night and is a favorite by all – that’s the story.

There is a variation of Treys and Jacks, a 5-card draw game, called Deuces & Jacks, the old man with the Axe. Same rules as above, but a pair of 7’s is not the automatic winner.

Below is an example of poker session minutes prepared by our man Larry.

Poker Session Minutes
Prepared by Larry A. on March 7, 2015

Stan hosted the game at his home in St. Paul. Attendees: Gary A, Mike F, Randy R, Steve C, Larry A, Carl J, Stan S

Stan served barbecued sausages on a bun, homemade potato salad, shrimp cocktail, German chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream and three brands of quality whiskey (Jack Daniels, Gentleman Jack & Wild Turkey). Yum!

Larry A, playing with an arm injury, found it difficult to dish up his plate as quickly as the others and so was last to be seated. As one would expect, the only vacant chair was the one between Steve C and Mike F. Larry decided to play anyway.

It was a night of incredible poker hands. Some of the highlights were:
• Steve C won a hand of Screw Your Neighbor with a natural four-of-a-kind.
• Larry A and Randy R tied with pairs of Kings in 50-cent Blood and Guts. I believe it was Stan who also went in with a pair of something. The resulting 3-loser pot was $14.50. I don't recall who won that pot, except that it wasn't me.
• Larry A won the following pot with a three-card straight flush - 3,4,5 of Hearts. As nobody paid to see his cards, there is no way to know if this is true.
• The poker play of the night came during a hand of Buford. Showdown came down to Mike F, with one stack, and Randy R, with all four of his stacks. Randy quickly lost the next two hands to Mike. On the third hand, Mike read Randy's air of confidence with keeping his card. So, Mike threw away his ten in the hope that he would draw a higher card. Mike drew a King or Ace and beat Randy's Jack or Queen. I don't recall exactly what the cards were. What impressed us all was that Mike threw away a ten. On the last hand, with one stack each, Randy and Mike tied with Queens. They both seemed happy to split the pot and kiss their sisters. The mental pedestal I had just placed Mike on, just one hand before, was gone as quickly as it had appeared. (Editor’s Note: Larry A., who has a poor relationship with the truth, and typically stretches it to its tensile strength limits, prepares the minutes of most poker sessions. Without calling Larry a congenital liar, I’ll just say that he is an excellent author of fiction, and we just accept it and find his writings humorous enough to keep letting him continue preparation of the mostly fictional minutes.)
• As a side note, twice during that game Larry proved the Theory of Threes. (Editor’s Note: This subject will be a future topic in FS – it would take up too much space here.)
• Gary and Mike kept us entertained with stories of their newest tenants, two ladies. They seem to suspect that the girls engage in an alternate life style (not that there’s anything wrong with that), but because they have been observed wearing comfortable shoes. Nothing gets past these landlords.
• Mike also took the opportunity to make fun of Larry's disability. Asking embarrassing questions like: Is that Pennis (sounds like tennis) Elbow? and How do you wipe your butt? Larry politely laughed at his Pennis Elbow joke and explained to Mike that he has become very adept at wiping. Larry kept to himself the fact, that, although he's learned to wipe reasonably well with his left hand, he has not been able to wash the hand afterwards. Nor did Larry bother to explain that it is an unwise man who would sit to his left with his plate of food on the poker table and humor himself at Larry's expense.