When insults had class ....
These
glorious insults are from an era “ before” the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir,
you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”
"That depends, Sir, " said
Disraeli, "whether
I embrace your policies or your mistress."
"He had delusions of adequacy ."
-Walter Kerr
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
-Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
-William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
-Moses Hadas
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
-Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
-Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one."
-George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
-Winston Churchill, in response
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
-Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
-John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
-Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
-Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
- Paul Keating
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
-Charles, Count Talleyrand
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
-Forrest Tucker
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
-Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
-Oscar Wilde
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
-Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
-Billy Wilder
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I'm afraid this wasn't it."
-Groucho Marx
EasternOZ wrote:
These
glorious insults are from an era “ before” the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir,
you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”
"That depends, Sir, " said
Disraeli, "whether
I embrace your policies or your mistress."
"He had delusions of adequacy ."
-Walter Kerr
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
-Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
-William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
-Moses Hadas
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
-Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
-Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one."
-George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
-Winston Churchill, in response
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
-Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
-John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
-Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
-Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
- Paul Keating
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
-Charles, Count Talleyrand
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
-Forrest Tucker
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
-Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
-Oscar Wilde
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
-Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
-Billy Wilder
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I'm afraid this wasn't it."
-Groucho Marx
These br glorious insults are from an era “ befor... (
show quote)
Those are classic. It sure puts the tort in retort.
Thanks...those are classic & clever oh forgot to mention...non PC...
My kind of stuff.
He was made in the image of God, but is no danger of being mistaken for him.
Excellent stuff there. Wish I could remember any when apropos.
He resigned his job, effective Monday P.M.
We had a grand "going away" party. On Tuesday.
Truly classic, and a lost art...most likely would fall on deaf ears if spoken today, and would probably would hasten a “huh??” response
I've come up with some scathing comebacks and witty put-downs
....usually two or three days too late.
Barnacles wrote:
I've come up with some scathing comebacks and witty put-downs
....usually two or three days too late.
Don't you hate it when the best you can come up with is: "Oh Yeah?"
FourchonLa. wrote:
Those are classic. It sure puts the tort in retort.
He was so ugly when he was born, the doctor slapped his mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
ghaynes1 wrote:
He was so ugly when he was born, the doctor slapped his mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
He was good. He was in another post recently and BF posted some clips from a couple of his movies.
If you want to reply, then
register here. Registration is free and your account is created instantly, so you can post right away.