Robert J Samples Loc: Round Rock, Texas

• Still trying to get my head around the fact that 'Take Out' can mean food, dating, or murder.

• Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the 'cool table' in the cafeteria of a mental hospital.

• I too was once a male trapped in a female body...but then my mother gave birth.

• If only vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

• Anyone who says their wedding was the best day of their life has clearly never had three candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.

• We live in a time where intelligent people are silenced so that stupid people won't be offended.

• For those of you who don't want Alexa or Siri listening in on your conversation, they are making a male version....it doesn't listen to anything.

• I once got a present labeled, 'From Mom and Dad', and I know darn well Dad had no idea what was inside.

• The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The realist adjusts his sails.

• Reading gives us someplace to go when we have to stay where we are.

• I have many hidden talents. I just wish I could remember where I hid them.

• Weight loss goal: To be able to cut my toenails and breathe at the same time.

• Apparently exercise helps you with decision-making. It's true. I went for a jog this morning and decided I'm never going again.

• Threw out my back sleeping,and tweaked my neck sneezing so I'm probably just one strong fart away from complete paralysis.

• Some of my friends exercise every day. Meanwhile I am watching a show I don't like because the remote fell on the floor.

• It's weird being the same age as old people.

• I celebrated last night with a couple of adult beverages ... Metamucil and Ensure.

• How did doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life, when
...the rabbit is always jumping but only lives for around two year, and
...the turtle that doesn't exercise at all, lives over 200 years.

• I woke up this morning determined to drink less, eat right, and exercise. But that was four hours ago when I was younger and full of hope. Just Sayin...RJS

bknecht Loc: Northeast pa

Those are pretty damn funny RJS, especially like #3.

OJdidit Loc: Oak Creek Wisconsin

Those are all good Robert!

dbed Loc: POMME DE TERRE LAKE MISSOURI

The golden years

Flytier Loc: Wilmington Delaware

You're on a roll Robert.

Fredfish Loc: Prospect CT.

All good ones RJ, thanks for the laughs.

kandydisbar Loc: West Orange, NJ

Some really good ones there Mr. Samples. New one to me which I love "I was a male trapped in a female body, then my mother gave birth." Such craziness going on

Big dog Loc: Bayshore, Long Island, New York

Sage wisdom at its best!🤣

ranger632 Loc: Near Yosemite Park Ca.

Good ones RJS

hueey Loc: Lake Fork Tx

Sooooo good. Thanks

Bcmech1 Loc: Clinton Wisconsin

Great post Robert.
In response to number 3 see below

Rheatown Loc: Greeneville tn

👍👍great post

fishing rod Loc: Michigan

If they only taught those things in school🥴

Ridleyblake2017 Loc: Honesdale Pennsylvania

Those are great.

Placerville Loc: Northern California

Those are good. Many had not heard before