Subject: Now that I'm older:
Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.
A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
If you can’t think of a word, say “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.
I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out. I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.
MY BROTHER BOB TELLS ME …. He ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce, and cheese. FINE, it was a pizza.... OK, I ate a pizza! Are you happy now?
I don't mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food supply in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below freezing outside they closed school? Yeah, Me neither.
I love approaching 80, I learn something new every day and forget 5 other things.
A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I got up and searched with him.
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.
It’s weird being the same age as old people.
When I was a kid I wanted to be older…this is not what I expected.
It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.
Marriage Counsellor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true? Me : To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.
Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember…Don’t sing!
I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.
So if a cow doesn’t produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?
I’m at that age where my mind still thinks I’m 29, my humor suggests I’m 12, my body mostly keeps asking if I’m sure I’m not dead yet.
You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.
hueey wrote:
Subject: Now that I'm older:
Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.
A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
If you can’t think of a word, say “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.
I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out. I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.
MY BROTHER BOB TELLS ME …. He ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce, and cheese. FINE, it was a pizza.... OK, I ate a pizza! Are you happy now?
I don't mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food supply in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below freezing outside they closed school? Yeah, Me neither.
I love approaching 80, I learn something new every day and forget 5 other things.
A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I got up and searched with him.
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.
It’s weird being the same age as old people.
When I was a kid I wanted to be older…this is not what I expected.
It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.
Marriage Counsellor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true? Me : To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.
Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember…Don’t sing!
I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.
So if a cow doesn’t produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?
I’m at that age where my mind still thinks I’m 29, my humor suggests I’m 12, my body mostly keeps asking if I’m sure I’m not dead yet.
You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.
Subject: Now that I'm older: br br Don’t be worri... (
show quote)
Good ones Hueey, and unfortunately, true.
You hit nail on the head! I’m a few months away from turning 80 and I can relate to all of them!!
hueey wrote:
Subject: Now that I'm older:
Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.
A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
If you can’t think of a word, say “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.
I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out. I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.
MY BROTHER BOB TELLS ME …. He ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce, and cheese. FINE, it was a pizza.... OK, I ate a pizza! Are you happy now?
I don't mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food supply in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below freezing outside they closed school? Yeah, Me neither.
I love approaching 80, I learn something new every day and forget 5 other things.
A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I got up and searched with him.
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.
It’s weird being the same age as old people.
When I was a kid I wanted to be older…this is not what I expected.
It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.
Marriage Counsellor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true? Me : To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.
Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember…Don’t sing!
I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.
So if a cow doesn’t produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?
I’m at that age where my mind still thinks I’m 29, my humor suggests I’m 12, my body mostly keeps asking if I’m sure I’m not dead yet.
You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.
Subject: Now that I'm older: br br Don’t be worri... (
show quote)
I'll admit I can relate to all the above Hueey
When I start going downhill too fast i try getting stuck in some brush.
Use to try trees but that was getting painful 👍🤣
hueey wrote:
Subject: Now that I'm older:
Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.
A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
If you can’t think of a word, say “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.
I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out. I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.
MY BROTHER BOB TELLS ME …. He ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce, and cheese. FINE, it was a pizza.... OK, I ate a pizza! Are you happy now?
I don't mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food supply in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below freezing outside they closed school? Yeah, Me neither.
I love approaching 80, I learn something new every day and forget 5 other things.
A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I got up and searched with him.
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.
It’s weird being the same age as old people.
When I was a kid I wanted to be older…this is not what I expected.
It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.
Marriage Counsellor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true? Me : To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.
Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember…Don’t sing!
I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.
So if a cow doesn’t produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?
I’m at that age where my mind still thinks I’m 29, my humor suggests I’m 12, my body mostly keeps asking if I’m sure I’m not dead yet.
You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.
Subject: Now that I'm older: br br Don’t be worri... (
show quote)
You are on a roll with these Hueey. Hold on tight.
Most likely you will get a nasty gram about being in the Main section since it's not fishing related. Next time you might want to post noin fishing in the CC section.
plumbob wrote:
You are on a roll with these Hueey. Hold on tight.
Most likely you will get a nasty gram about being in the Main section since it's not fishing related. Next time you might want to post noin fishing in the CC section.
Ya u r right. That is my mistake.
Sorry about that.
hueey wrote:
Ya u r right. That is my mistake.
Sorry about that.
No worries from here hueey, that being human catches up to all of us. You know what Forest said S*** Happens.
Those are very relatable, thanks for sharing.
hueey wrote:
Subject: Now that I'm older:
Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.
A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
If you can’t think of a word, say “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.
I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out. I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.
MY BROTHER BOB TELLS ME …. He ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce, and cheese. FINE, it was a pizza.... OK, I ate a pizza! Are you happy now?
I don't mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food supply in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below freezing outside they closed school? Yeah, Me neither.
I love approaching 80, I learn something new every day and forget 5 other things.
A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I got up and searched with him.
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.
It’s weird being the same age as old people.
When I was a kid I wanted to be older…this is not what I expected.
It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.
Marriage Counsellor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true? Me : To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.
Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember…Don’t sing!
I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.
So if a cow doesn’t produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?
I’m at that age where my mind still thinks I’m 29, my humor suggests I’m 12, my body mostly keeps asking if I’m sure I’m not dead yet.
You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.
Subject: Now that I'm older: br br Don’t be worri... (
show quote)
Good ones! Unfortunately, I can relate to most of them.
Very clever, all of them. I particularly liked the one about the thief breaking in looking for money, and the homeowner going to look with him! :-)
hueey wrote:
Subject: Now that I'm older:
Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.
A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
If you can’t think of a word, say “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.
I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out. I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.
MY BROTHER BOB TELLS ME …. He ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce, and cheese. FINE, it was a pizza.... OK, I ate a pizza! Are you happy now?
I don't mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food supply in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below freezing outside they closed school? Yeah, Me neither.
I love approaching 80, I learn something new every day and forget 5 other things.
A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I got up and searched with him.
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.
It’s weird being the same age as old people.
When I was a kid I wanted to be older…this is not what I expected.
It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.
Marriage Counsellor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true? Me : To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.
Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember…Don’t sing!
I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.
So if a cow doesn’t produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?
I’m at that age where my mind still thinks I’m 29, my humor suggests I’m 12, my body mostly keeps asking if I’m sure I’m not dead yet.
You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.
Subject: Now that I'm older: br br Don’t be worri... (
show quote)
I don't mind getting older, it's just that the side effects stink.
hueey wrote:
Subject: Now that I'm older:
Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.
A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
If you can’t think of a word, say “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.
I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out. I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.
MY BROTHER BOB TELLS ME …. He ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce, and cheese. FINE, it was a pizza.... OK, I ate a pizza! Are you happy now?
I don't mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food supply in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below freezing outside they closed school? Yeah, Me neither.
I love approaching 80, I learn something new every day and forget 5 other things.
A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I got up and searched with him.
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.
It’s weird being the same age as old people.
When I was a kid I wanted to be older…this is not what I expected.
It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.
Marriage Counsellor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true? Me : To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.
Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember…Don’t sing!
I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.
So if a cow doesn’t produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?
I’m at that age where my mind still thinks I’m 29, my humor suggests I’m 12, my body mostly keeps asking if I’m sure I’m not dead yet.
You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.
Subject: Now that I'm older: br br Don’t be worri... (
show quote)
Enjoyed them all. Experiencing most of them.
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