A guy walks into a bar carrying a briefcase. He pulls up a stool at the bar and orders a drink. He opens his briefcase and a tiny little man about a foot tall climbs out, hauls out a tiny little piano behind him, sits down on a little stool and commences playing a flawless Chopin etude. All this time the guy down the bar is staring in amazement, jaw dropping.
"Where did you get that little guy?" he asks the first guy.
"Well, I was out walking on the beach and found this lamp," he says, hauling an antique brass lamp out of the briefcase. "There's a genie in here that will grant any wish you have."
"Can I try it?" asks the second guy eagerly.
"Sure," says the first guy.
The second guy reaches over, grabs the lamp, gives it a quick rub, and out floats a bearded genie in a turban, who immediately says, "YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND."
The second guy immediately says, "I want a million bucks!"
In the blink of an eye the entire bar is filled with a huge flock of ducks, quacking and shitting and squabbling with each other all over the place.
"I said a million BUCKS, not a million DUCKS!" he exclaims.
"Yeah, I know," says the first guy. "That genie is a little hard of hearing. You don't think I actually asked for a 12-inch pianist, do you?"