I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
If you find yourself feeling useless, remember it took us 20 years, trillions of dollars, and four presidents to replace the Taliban with ....the Taliban.
I’m responsible for what I say, NOT what you understand.
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it the most never use it.
My tolerance for idiots is extremely low these days. I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously there's a new strain out there.
It’s not my age that bothers me; it’s the side effects.
I’m not saying I’m old and worn out, but I make sure I’m nowhere near the curb on trash day.
As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, I'm sure of one thing: It will be badly misspelled and have no punctuation.
As I’ve gotten older, everyone thinks I’ve become lazy. The truth is that I’m just being more energy efficient.
I didn't get anything done today. I was stuck in the Produce Department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.
Turns out that being a "senior" is mostly just googling how to do stuff.
I want to be 18 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.
I'm on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on just one.
I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar is going to stay until it apologizes.
It's hard to believe that we once had phones that were attached to a wall, and when it rang, we'd pick it up without knowing who was calling.
My wife says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found 'mute' by now.
Sometimes the Universe puts you in the same situation again to see if you’re still a dumbass.
There is no such thing as a grouchy old person. The truth is that once you get old, you stop being polite and start being honest!
The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have begun asking humans to prove they aren't a robot.
When a kid says to her Daddy, "I WANT MOMMY!" that's the kid version of, "I'd like to speak to your supervisor."
If I am ever on life support, unplug me and plug me back in and see if that works.
If Adam and Eve were Cajuns, they would have eaten the snake instead of the apple and saved us all a lot of trouble.
My lady and I celebrated last night with a couple of adult beverages... Metamucil and Ensure.
You know you are getting old when "friends with benefits" means having someone who can drive at night.
My weight loss goal is to be able to clip my toenails and breathe at the same time.
After watching how some people wear their masks, I understand why contraception fails.
Some of my friends exercise every day. Meanwhile, I'm watching a show I don't like because the remote fell on the floor.
For those of you that don't want Alexa listening in on your conversation, they're making a male version now. It doesn't listen to anything.
I just got a present labeled, "From Mom and Dad" and you know darn well Dad has no idea what's inside.
Now that I've lived through a plague, I totally understand why Italian renaissance paintings are full of fat people lying on couches.
saw1
Loc: nor cal Windsor
Barnacles wrote:
I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
If you find yourself feeling useless, remember it took us 20 years, trillions of dollars, and four presidents to replace the Taliban with ....the Taliban.
I’m responsible for what I say, NOT what you understand.
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it the most never use it.
My tolerance for idiots is extremely low these days. I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously there's a new strain out there.
It’s not my age that bothers me; it’s the side effects.
I’m not saying I’m old and worn out, but I make sure I’m nowhere near the curb on trash day.
As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, I'm sure of one thing: It will be badly misspelled and have no punctuation.
As I’ve gotten older, everyone thinks I’ve become lazy. The truth is that I’m just being more energy efficient.
I didn't get anything done today. I was stuck in the Produce Department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.
Turns out that being a "senior" is mostly just googling how to do stuff.
I want to be 18 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.
I'm on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on just one.
I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar is going to stay until it apologizes.
It's hard to believe that we once had phones that were attached to a wall, and when it rang, we'd pick it up without knowing who was calling.
My wife says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found 'mute' by now.
Sometimes the Universe puts you in the same situation again to see if you’re still a dumbass.
There is no such thing as a grouchy old person. The truth is that once you get old, you stop being polite and start being honest!
The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have begun asking humans to prove they aren't a robot.
When a kid says to her Daddy, "I WANT MOMMY!" that's the kid version of, "I'd like to speak to your supervisor."
If I am ever on life support, unplug me and plug me back in and see if that works.
If Adam and Eve were Cajuns, they would have eaten the snake instead of the apple and saved us all a lot of trouble.
My lady and I celebrated last night with a couple of adult beverages... Metamucil and Ensure.
You know you are getting old when "friends with benefits" means having someone who can drive at night.
My weight loss goal is to be able to clip my toenails and breathe at the same time.
After watching how some people wear their masks, I understand why contraception fails.
Some of my friends exercise every day. Meanwhile, I'm watching a show I don't like because the remote fell on the floor.
For those of you that don't want Alexa listening in on your conversation, they're making a male version now. It doesn't listen to anything.
I just got a present labeled, "From Mom and Dad" and you know darn well Dad has no idea what's inside.
Now that I've lived through a plague, I totally understand why Italian renaissance paintings are full of fat people lying on couches.
I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible,... (
show quote)
I tell ya what, if you can't relate to those, you're not RETIRED !
Lots to be said bout bein retired, and you said a bunch.
I checked off quite a few there Barn that I can relate too. All good with these 2 as my favs,
" As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, I'm sure of one thing: It will be badly misspelled and have no punctuation. "
And it wont be in cursive either.
" There is no such thing as a grouchy old person. The truth is that once you get old, you stop being polite and start being honest"
The heck with them if the truth hurts.
Barnacles wrote:
I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
If you find yourself feeling useless, remember it took us 20 years, trillions of dollars, and four presidents to replace the Taliban with ....the Taliban.
I’m responsible for what I say, NOT what you understand.
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it the most never use it.
My tolerance for idiots is extremely low these days. I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously there's a new strain out there.
It’s not my age that bothers me; it’s the side effects.
I’m not saying I’m old and worn out, but I make sure I’m nowhere near the curb on trash day.
As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, I'm sure of one thing: It will be badly misspelled and have no punctuation.
As I’ve gotten older, everyone thinks I’ve become lazy. The truth is that I’m just being more energy efficient.
I didn't get anything done today. I was stuck in the Produce Department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.
Turns out that being a "senior" is mostly just googling how to do stuff.
I want to be 18 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.
I'm on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on just one.
I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar is going to stay until it apologizes.
It's hard to believe that we once had phones that were attached to a wall, and when it rang, we'd pick it up without knowing who was calling.
My wife says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found 'mute' by now.
Sometimes the Universe puts you in the same situation again to see if you’re still a dumbass.
There is no such thing as a grouchy old person. The truth is that once you get old, you stop being polite and start being honest!
The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have begun asking humans to prove they aren't a robot.
When a kid says to her Daddy, "I WANT MOMMY!" that's the kid version of, "I'd like to speak to your supervisor."
If I am ever on life support, unplug me and plug me back in and see if that works.
If Adam and Eve were Cajuns, they would have eaten the snake instead of the apple and saved us all a lot of trouble.
My lady and I celebrated last night with a couple of adult beverages... Metamucil and Ensure.
You know you are getting old when "friends with benefits" means having someone who can drive at night.
My weight loss goal is to be able to clip my toenails and breathe at the same time.
After watching how some people wear their masks, I understand why contraception fails.
Some of my friends exercise every day. Meanwhile, I'm watching a show I don't like because the remote fell on the floor.
For those of you that don't want Alexa listening in on your conversation, they're making a male version now. It doesn't listen to anything.
I just got a present labeled, "From Mom and Dad" and you know darn well Dad has no idea what's inside.
Now that I've lived through a plague, I totally understand why Italian renaissance paintings are full of fat people lying on couches.
I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible,... (
show quote)
Barn... These are really funny, but sooooo true. Thanks.
Barnacles wrote:
I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
If you find yourself feeling useless, remember it took us 20 years, trillions of dollars, and four presidents to replace the Taliban with ....the Taliban.
I’m responsible for what I say, NOT what you understand.
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it the most never use it.
My tolerance for idiots is extremely low these days. I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously there's a new strain out there.
It’s not my age that bothers me; it’s the side effects.
I’m not saying I’m old and worn out, but I make sure I’m nowhere near the curb on trash day.
As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, I'm sure of one thing: It will be badly misspelled and have no punctuation.
As I’ve gotten older, everyone thinks I’ve become lazy. The truth is that I’m just being more energy efficient.
I didn't get anything done today. I was stuck in the Produce Department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.
Turns out that being a "senior" is mostly just googling how to do stuff.
I want to be 18 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.
I'm on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on just one.
I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar is going to stay until it apologizes.
It's hard to believe that we once had phones that were attached to a wall, and when it rang, we'd pick it up without knowing who was calling.
My wife says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found 'mute' by now.
Sometimes the Universe puts you in the same situation again to see if you’re still a dumbass.
There is no such thing as a grouchy old person. The truth is that once you get old, you stop being polite and start being honest!
The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have begun asking humans to prove they aren't a robot.
When a kid says to her Daddy, "I WANT MOMMY!" that's the kid version of, "I'd like to speak to your supervisor."
If I am ever on life support, unplug me and plug me back in and see if that works.
If Adam and Eve were Cajuns, they would have eaten the snake instead of the apple and saved us all a lot of trouble.
My lady and I celebrated last night with a couple of adult beverages... Metamucil and Ensure.
You know you are getting old when "friends with benefits" means having someone who can drive at night.
My weight loss goal is to be able to clip my toenails and breathe at the same time.
After watching how some people wear their masks, I understand why contraception fails.
Some of my friends exercise every day. Meanwhile, I'm watching a show I don't like because the remote fell on the floor.
For those of you that don't want Alexa listening in on your conversation, they're making a male version now. It doesn't listen to anything.
I just got a present labeled, "From Mom and Dad" and you know darn well Dad has no idea what's inside.
Now that I've lived through a plague, I totally understand why Italian renaissance paintings are full of fat people lying on couches.
I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible,... (
show quote)
Now that’s some funny 💩. Well done. 👍
Barnacles wrote:
I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
If you find yourself feeling useless, remember it took us 20 years, trillions of dollars, and four presidents to replace the Taliban with ....the Taliban.
I’m responsible for what I say, NOT what you understand.
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it the most never use it.
My tolerance for idiots is extremely low these days. I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously there's a new strain out there.
It’s not my age that bothers me; it’s the side effects.
I’m not saying I’m old and worn out, but I make sure I’m nowhere near the curb on trash day.
As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, I'm sure of one thing: It will be badly misspelled and have no punctuation.
As I’ve gotten older, everyone thinks I’ve become lazy. The truth is that I’m just being more energy efficient.
I didn't get anything done today. I was stuck in the Produce Department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.
Turns out that being a "senior" is mostly just googling how to do stuff.
I want to be 18 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.
I'm on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on just one.
I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar is going to stay until it apologizes.
It's hard to believe that we once had phones that were attached to a wall, and when it rang, we'd pick it up without knowing who was calling.
My wife says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found 'mute' by now.
Sometimes the Universe puts you in the same situation again to see if you’re still a dumbass.
There is no such thing as a grouchy old person. The truth is that once you get old, you stop being polite and start being honest!
The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have begun asking humans to prove they aren't a robot.
When a kid says to her Daddy, "I WANT MOMMY!" that's the kid version of, "I'd like to speak to your supervisor."
If I am ever on life support, unplug me and plug me back in and see if that works.
If Adam and Eve were Cajuns, they would have eaten the snake instead of the apple and saved us all a lot of trouble.
My lady and I celebrated last night with a couple of adult beverages... Metamucil and Ensure.
You know you are getting old when "friends with benefits" means having someone who can drive at night.
My weight loss goal is to be able to clip my toenails and breathe at the same time.
After watching how some people wear their masks, I understand why contraception fails.
Some of my friends exercise every day. Meanwhile, I'm watching a show I don't like because the remote fell on the floor.
For those of you that don't want Alexa listening in on your conversation, they're making a male version now. It doesn't listen to anything.
I just got a present labeled, "From Mom and Dad" and you know darn well Dad has no idea what's inside.
Now that I've lived through a plague, I totally understand why Italian renaissance paintings are full of fat people lying on couches.
I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible,... (
show quote)
So just what are you trying to say lol 🤣🤣🤣
all very good, funny and true
This was way better than the movie my wife is watching.
Billycrap2
Loc: Mason county,W(BY GOD) Virginia, 🇺🇸🦅
Barnacles wrote:
I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
If you find yourself feeling useless, remember it took us 20 years, trillions of dollars, and four presidents to replace the Taliban with ....the Taliban.
I’m responsible for what I say, NOT what you understand.
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it the most never use it.
My tolerance for idiots is extremely low these days. I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously there's a new strain out there.
It’s not my age that bothers me; it’s the side effects.
I’m not saying I’m old and worn out, but I make sure I’m nowhere near the curb on trash day.
As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, I'm sure of one thing: It will be badly misspelled and have no punctuation.
As I’ve gotten older, everyone thinks I’ve become lazy. The truth is that I’m just being more energy efficient.
I didn't get anything done today. I was stuck in the Produce Department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.
Turns out that being a "senior" is mostly just googling how to do stuff.
I want to be 18 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.
I'm on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on just one.
I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar is going to stay until it apologizes.
It's hard to believe that we once had phones that were attached to a wall, and when it rang, we'd pick it up without knowing who was calling.
My wife says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found 'mute' by now.
Sometimes the Universe puts you in the same situation again to see if you’re still a dumbass.
There is no such thing as a grouchy old person. The truth is that once you get old, you stop being polite and start being honest!
The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have begun asking humans to prove they aren't a robot.
When a kid says to her Daddy, "I WANT MOMMY!" that's the kid version of, "I'd like to speak to your supervisor."
If I am ever on life support, unplug me and plug me back in and see if that works.
If Adam and Eve were Cajuns, they would have eaten the snake instead of the apple and saved us all a lot of trouble.
My lady and I celebrated last night with a couple of adult beverages... Metamucil and Ensure.
You know you are getting old when "friends with benefits" means having someone who can drive at night.
My weight loss goal is to be able to clip my toenails and breathe at the same time.
After watching how some people wear their masks, I understand why contraception fails.
Some of my friends exercise every day. Meanwhile, I'm watching a show I don't like because the remote fell on the floor.
For those of you that don't want Alexa listening in on your conversation, they're making a male version now. It doesn't listen to anything.
I just got a present labeled, "From Mom and Dad" and you know darn well Dad has no idea what's inside.
Now that I've lived through a plague, I totally understand why Italian renaissance paintings are full of fat people lying on couches.
I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible,... (
show quote)
A whole lot of truth there 👍🏽👍🏽🤣🤣
Barnacles wrote:
I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
If you find yourself feeling useless, remember it took us 20 years, trillions of dollars, and four presidents to replace the Taliban with ....the Taliban.
I’m responsible for what I say, NOT what you understand.
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it the most never use it.
My tolerance for idiots is extremely low these days. I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously there's a new strain out there.
It’s not my age that bothers me; it’s the side effects.
I’m not saying I’m old and worn out, but I make sure I’m nowhere near the curb on trash day.
As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, I'm sure of one thing: It will be badly misspelled and have no punctuation.
As I’ve gotten older, everyone thinks I’ve become lazy. The truth is that I’m just being more energy efficient.
I didn't get anything done today. I was stuck in the Produce Department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.
Turns out that being a "senior" is mostly just googling how to do stuff.
I want to be 18 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.
I'm on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on just one.
I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar is going to stay until it apologizes.
It's hard to believe that we once had phones that were attached to a wall, and when it rang, we'd pick it up without knowing who was calling.
My wife says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found 'mute' by now.
Sometimes the Universe puts you in the same situation again to see if you’re still a dumbass.
There is no such thing as a grouchy old person. The truth is that once you get old, you stop being polite and start being honest!
The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have begun asking humans to prove they aren't a robot.
When a kid says to her Daddy, "I WANT MOMMY!" that's the kid version of, "I'd like to speak to your supervisor."
If I am ever on life support, unplug me and plug me back in and see if that works.
If Adam and Eve were Cajuns, they would have eaten the snake instead of the apple and saved us all a lot of trouble.
My lady and I celebrated last night with a couple of adult beverages... Metamucil and Ensure.
You know you are getting old when "friends with benefits" means having someone who can drive at night.
My weight loss goal is to be able to clip my toenails and breathe at the same time.
After watching how some people wear their masks, I understand why contraception fails.
Some of my friends exercise every day. Meanwhile, I'm watching a show I don't like because the remote fell on the floor.
For those of you that don't want Alexa listening in on your conversation, they're making a male version now. It doesn't listen to anything.
I just got a present labeled, "From Mom and Dad" and you know darn well Dad has no idea what's inside.
Now that I've lived through a plague, I totally understand why Italian renaissance paintings are full of fat people lying on couches.
I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible,... (
show quote)
STUPID PLASTIC BAGS… anyway🤣🤣🤣🤣
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