Why Spirit has been banned from WalMart
Jul 14, 2022 10:14:05 #
BadFisherman
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
After Spirit27 retired, his wife insisted that he accompany her on trips to Walmart. Unfortunately, like most men, Spirit found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, his wife is like most women - she loves to browse.
Eventually, Spirit's dear wife received the following letter from the local Walmart:
Ma'am,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband are listed below and are "documented by our video surveillance cameras":
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her supervisor. That in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the service desk and tried to reserve a bag of chips.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' Emergency medics were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the sports department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud-speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!
15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was.
And last, but not least:
16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the staff passed out.
Eventually, Spirit's dear wife received the following letter from the local Walmart:
Ma'am,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband are listed below and are "documented by our video surveillance cameras":
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her supervisor. That in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the service desk and tried to reserve a bag of chips.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' Emergency medics were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the sports department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud-speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!
15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was.
And last, but not least:
16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the staff passed out.
Jul 14, 2022 10:21:07 #
BadFisherman wrote:
What a man!!!!!!!!🤣🤣🤣 Bless you for the laffs BF.After Spirit27 retired, his wife insisted that he ... (show quote)
Jul 14, 2022 10:28:02 #
Jul 14, 2022 10:42:22 #
BadFisherman wrote:
After Spirit27 retired, his wife insisted that he ... (show quote)
BF, you’ve got an imaginative mind. Love it.
Jul 14, 2022 10:54:07 #
Jul 14, 2022 11:04:16 #
Slimshady
Loc: Central Pennsylvania
All good ones for sure Just goes to show that you can’t take your eyes off of Spirit or you’ll be sorry
Jul 14, 2022 11:40:05 #
Lowescatfish18
Loc: Wesley Chaple florida
You have wait to much time on your hands you need to go fishing.
tight lines
tight lines
Jul 14, 2022 13:15:10 #
Way to go Spriit, keep up the fine work. Of course you did make some of the mangers cry, but that's ok. We do that when we see their prices.
Jul 14, 2022 14:03:40 #
Jul 14, 2022 14:44:06 #
I thought they had the wrong dude, but then I read number 9. Sure enough - that was me.
Jul 14, 2022 14:47:01 #
Spiritof27 wrote:
I thought they had the wrong dude, but then I read number 9. Sure enough - that was me.
Must a been buggin ya 🙄 hahaha
Jul 14, 2022 15:27:48 #
Spiritof27 wrote:
I thought they had the wrong dude, but then I read number 9. Sure enough - that was me.
Sorry dude, you are the one and only.
Jul 14, 2022 18:25:51 #
Seegundo
Loc: Lake s minole Georgia
I remember a little old baptist lady walking up to a man with a beard and mustache. She asked him why he cultivated something on his face that grew wild on his backside? Granny was a hard-shell Baptiste. All the guy could do was smile
Jul 14, 2022 18:57:56 #
BadFisherman wrote:
After Spirit27 retired, his wife insisted that he ... (show quote)
What?! We're not supposed to camp out inside Walmart to try out the tent's?
Funny 😂
Jul 14, 2022 19:16:53 #
Better to do it in Cabela's or BPS. They're way more forgiving. If you care.
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