hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas

My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffered from mental illness.  I said, "No, we all seem to enjoy it.

My bucket list:  keep breathing. 

Camping:  where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person. 

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say, "Close enough." 

Being an adult is the dumbest thing I have ever done. 

I'm a multitasker.  I can listen, ignore and forget all at the same time! 

Retirement to do list:  Wake up.  Nailed it! 

I went to an antique auction and people were bidding on me. 

People who wonder if the glass is half empty or half full, miss the point.  The glass is refillable. 

I don't have grey hair; I have wisdom highlights. 

Sometimes it takes me all day to get nothing done. 

I don't trip, I do random gravity checks. 

My heart says chocolate and wine, but my jeans say, please, please, please eat a salad! 

Never laugh at your spouse's choices.  You are one of them. 

One minute you're young and fun.  Next, you're turning down the car stereo to see better. 

I'd grow my own food if only I could find bacon seeds. 

Losing weight doesn't seem to be working for me, so from now I'm going to concentrate on getting taller. 

My body is a temple; ancient and crumbling. 

Common sense is not a gift. It's a punishment because you have to deal with everyone else who doesn't have it. 
  
I came.  I saw.  I forgot what I was doing.  Retraced my steps.  Got lost on the way back.  Now I have no idea what's going on.

Hack 🇺🇸🍺🇺🇦
 
 
 

Fredfish Loc: Prospect CT.

Have you been reading my mind again Hack? It shouldn't take long, it's a short story.
Thanks for the laughs buddy.

Andy cacciatori Loc: Modesto cal.

Like !!
I fit right in alot of them.
I don't feel old but it piss me off knowing I'm 😒 😤 🙄.
Have a great week Hack
Andy

charlykilo Loc: Garden Valley Ca

I'd grow my own food if only I could find bacon seeds.
It is known as pigweed.

Randyhartford Loc: Lawrence, Kansas

Those were ALL good, guys!!

CamT Loc: La Porte, Texas

Thanks for the laughs Hack, good as always

Jer Loc: N. Illinois 🇺🇸

All good ones. I can relate to several. Keep them coming.
🥃🥃🇺🇸

Grizzly 17 Loc: South central Pa

Bug ask me one time if I was stupid. Of course me enjoying living dangerously ask I married you didn't I now answer your own question 😂😂. At my age I rarely have to act like n adult. If I do something goofy I blame it on old age. Plus most of the time I really don't care what people think 🤔 Don't know em don't owe em 👍😊

ripogenu Loc: norfolk, MA

it feels really strange being the same age as old people.

Jarheadfishnfool Loc: Woodlake/Tulare ,Ca.

Love em all Hack ! You bring back memories of BB,,, Thanks for the giggles !!👍😂🤣

Slimshady Loc: Central Pennsylvania

Good ones Hack

flyguy Loc: Lake Onalaska, Sunfish Capitol of the World!

Trust me charly, you don't want pigweed, it's almost impossible to get rid of, and spreads like crazy.

flyguy Loc: Lake Onalaska, Sunfish Capitol of the World!

Thanks for sharing, Hack.

hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas

I tried reading your mind Fred but your skull is so thick I couldn’t get in. I’m related to most of these too buddy.
Hack 🇺🇸🍺🇺🇦

hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas

My pleasure old timer...
Hack 🇺🇸🍺🇺🇦