The fact that he is retiring is proof positive that Fred is getting older and as we all know sometimes we older fellas have a bit of difficulty in the performance department so……. One night not too long ago Mr. and Mrs. Fred decided to try. Viagra for the first time. The result was an incredible night for the both of them. The next morning Mrs Fred said,” Honey that was amazing. How about breakfast? I’ll fix you bacon and eggs with hash browns, toast, juice and coffee.”No thanks my love, it must be the Viagra but I’m just not hungry.” Around noon Mrs. Fred said, “ Well honey how about a nice lunch? Beef Stew, cornbread with butter and honey, and an icy old beer.” “It must be a side effect but as good as that sounds I’m still not hungry!” Early that evening Mrs.Fred again said, “Well dear it’s dinner time, I’ll fix you a nice steak, a baked potato with all all the fixings and a nice salad and fix you your favorite bourbon on ice.” “Your being very thoughtful my love but I just couldn’t eat anything my appetite is just gone!” To which Mrs.Fred replied,” Well then would you please get off me, I’m starving!!!”

The fact that he is retiring is proof positive that Fred is getting older and as we all know sometimes we older fellas have a bit of difficulty in the performance department so……. One night not too long ago Mr. and Mrs. Fred decided to try. Viagra for the first time. The result was an incredible night for the both of them. The next morning Mrs Fred said,” Honey that was amazing. How about breakfast? I’ll fix you bacon and eggs with hash browns, toast, juice and coffee.”No thanks my love, it must be the Viagra but I’m just not hungry.” Around noon Mrs. Fred said, “ Well honey how about a nice lunch? Beef Stew, cornbread with butter and honey, and an icy old beer.” “It must be a side effect but as good as that sounds I’m still not hungry!” Early that evening Mrs.Fred again said, “Well dear it’s dinner time, I’ll fix you a nice steak, a baked potato with all all the fixings and a nice salad and fix you your favorite bourbon on ice.” “Your being very thoughtful my love but I just couldn’t eat anything my appetite is just gone!” To which Mrs.Fred replied,” Well then would you please get off me, I’m starving!!!”

Fredfish had checked into a hotel on a trip and was a bit lonely so he thought he'd get one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab. He grabbed a card on his way in.

It was an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs all the way up, you know the kind. So he's in his room and figured, what the hell, he'll give her a call.

"Hello?" the woman says, ....oh God, she sounded sexy!!

"Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like for you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. You name it, we'll do it. Bring anything you want."

She says, "That sounds fantastic, sir, but for an outside line you need to press 9."