BadFisherman Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

The following is in response to BB's recent thread: 'Are You In A Special Group?'

BB, is not old, but properly 'seasoned'...and very special.


Don't be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.

If you can't think of a word, say, I forgot the English word for it. That way people will think you're bilingual instead of an idiot

I'm at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.

I'm getting tired of being part of a major historical event.

I don't always go the extra mile, but when I do, it's because I missed my exit.

My goal for 2020 was to lose 10 pounds. I only have 14 to go.

Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce and cheese. FINE, it was a pizza.... OK, I ate a pizza! Are you happy now?

I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.

I don't mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food supply in 3 hours and 20 minutes.

A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.

Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below freezing outside they closed school? Yeah, me neither.

I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented. I forgot where I was going with this.

I love being 94, I learn something new every day and forget 5 other things.

A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I got up and searched with him.

I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.

Just remember, once you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.

Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.

It's weird being the same age as old people.

When I was a kid I wanted to be older . . this is not what I expected.

Life is like a helicopter. I don't know how to operate a helicopter.

It's probably my age that tricks people into thinking I'm an adult.

Marriage Counselor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true? Me: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.

Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember. . . . Don't sing!

If 2020 was a math word-problem: If you're going down a river at 2 MPH and your canoe loses a wheel, how much pancake mix would you need to re-shingle your roof?

I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

So if a cow doesn't produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?

Corona-coaster: noun; the ups and downs of a pandemic. One day you're loving your bubble, doing work outs, baking banana bread and going for long walks and the next you're crying, drinking gin for breakfast and missing people you don't even like.

I'm at that age where my mind still thinks I'm 29, my humor suggests I'm 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if I'm sure I'm not dead yet.

You don't realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.

We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

ReelT Loc: Montana

Oh man, BF,
Those are way to close to home .
Thanks a lot!
😃😂

Flytier Loc: Wilmington Delaware

🙂🙃😉

FourchonLa. Loc: Fourchon Louisiana, South Louisiana

Now you tell me. 😳😳😳

Yankeeblue Loc: Manchester CT (near Hartford)

Good ones, but unfortunately too many are true. Good hearing from you, how are you doing?

DC Loc: Washington state

funny and just proves good humor always has an element of truth....in this case many elements of truth thanks for making me feel old, at least I can still laugh in my old age

Andy cacciatori Loc: Modesto cal.

How true !!
I still feel young ut my body tells me otherwise.
The wife and are going to are 50yr High school reunion !! Where did the time go!!
Good fishing 🎣 and safe times on the water
Andy

badbobby Loc: Humble Texas

Yeah
gotta admit
I'm pretty old

but just in body
not in heart

mistred64 Loc: Grayslake, illinois

Those jokes cracked me up. Just spent 20 minutes sending those out to friends, and the kids. It's important the kids know what's ahead as we get older.

Whitey Loc: Southeast ohio

Wow a lot of truth there BF. How ya been man

Grizzly 17 Loc: South central Pa

BF Now i don't care what anyone says thats some funny s##t LOL my brain is locked at 24 my body depends what day it is 👍👍

Dambass Loc: Glendora California

BadFisherman, thank you for making me smile. I'm up in years myself, well not that old. They say 60 is the new 50 so there ya have it. One thing I like about getting older is you can watch movies twice because you forgot what they were about..anyway, my two bits.

Barnacles Loc: Northern California

Being in my seventies has its challenges, but it's worth it.
If a genie came out of a lamp and offered to make me 20 years younger by moving my birth date up 20 years, I'd turn him down. If he did that, I'd miss out on the 1950's, which was a bitchin' decade!

Jarheadfishnfool Loc: Woodlake/Tulare ,Ca.

I have'nt told the Boss yet but the other day he (my loving friend) mentioned Marine Corps Officers Club, some crazy a$$ I think shot a tire out on the bus, Lo and Behold when he mentioned Marine Corps NCO Club some crazy a$$ Marine shot out another tire!!I dearly hope he forgives me for the bus being in repair,forgive me Sir, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,BTW I was an Expert Rifleman and Pistol Expert that's why I took the Driving Job,,,,,😁😁😁 To honor and protect you!!!!!!🤗🤗

Pixiedog456005 Loc: Maryland

Wow!
Life does make the funniest humor.

I'm still trying to figure if it's farther to New York or by car.??