few jokes: “Give me a sentence about a public servant,” said a teacher. The small boy wrote: “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.” The teacher took the lad aside to correct him.

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few jokes

Apr 21, 2021 10:29:58 #

Ronniejw Loc: West Point MS

“Give me a sentence about a public servant,” said a teacher.

The small boy wrote: “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.”

The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. “Don’t you know what pregnant means?” she asked.

“Sure,” said the young student confidently. “Means carrying a child.”

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class.

“In English,” he said, “a double negative form a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.”
A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”

A man was in a terrible accident, and his ‘manhood’ was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn’t cover the surgery since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for ‘small, $6,500 for ‘medium, and $14,000 for ‘large.’
The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected.
“Well, what have the two of you decided?” asked the doctor.
“She’d rather remodel the kitchen.”

At the pre-birth class for couples who’d already had at least one child, the instructor raised the question of how to break the news to an older child.

“Some parents tell the older child: ‘We love you so much that we decided to bring another child into our family. But think about it for a second… Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and say: ‘Honey, I love you so much I decided to bring home another woman.’ ?”

One of the women spoke up right away: “Perfect. She will cook from now on.”

Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT: “What starting salary are you looking for?”
The engineer said: “In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”
The interviewer said: “Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years – say, a red Corvette?”
The engineer sat up straight and said: “Wow! Are you kidding?”
And the interviewer replied: “Yeah, but you started it.”

Apr 21, 2021 14:43:45 #