HOW MANY COWS? How Many Cows? A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture in Texas when suddenly a brand-new 2021 BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The...

padrebino Loc: BROWNSVILLE, TX / SOUTH PADRE ISLAND, TX

How Many Cows?

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture in Texas when suddenly a brand-new 2021 BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man named Cliff in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Apple iPhone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany . Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple iPad® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Galaxy S21® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know s**t about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter.

“This is a herd of sheep you i***t…now give me back my dog.”

AND THAT FOLKS IS WHERE OUR PROBLEMS LIE………..

FourchonLa. Loc: Fourchon Louisiana, South Louisiana

padrebino wrote:

How Many Cows?

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture in Texas when suddenly a brand-new 2021 BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man named Cliff in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Apple iPhone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany . Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple iPad® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Galaxy S21® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know s**t about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter.

“This is a herd of sheep you i***t…now give me back my dog.”

AND THAT FOLKS IS WHERE OUR PROBLEMS LIE………..

How Many Cows? br br A cowboy named Bud was overs... (show quote)

The nail has been struck squarely on the head. Posers are what they are.

hemihappy Loc: pawleys island s.c.

That is great, so possible.

Gordon Loc: Charleston South Carolina

Good one bino

Foodfisher Loc: SO. Cal coast

padrebino wrote:

How Many Cows?

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture in Texas when suddenly a brand-new 2021 BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man named Cliff in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Apple iPhone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany . Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple iPad® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Galaxy S21® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know s**t about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter.

“This is a herd of sheep you i***t…now give me back my dog.”

AND THAT FOLKS IS WHERE OUR PROBLEMS LIE………..

How Many Cows? br br A cowboy named Bud was overs... (show quote)

Bingo!.

Egghead

Hmmm, I know a sheep from a cow and a dog. But all the other high tech stuff lost me. The clothing line stumped me. Perty much all my clothes say Carhartt. And my choose are just leather lol

Mauwehu Loc: Norwalk Ct

padrebino wrote:

How Many Cows?

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture in Texas when suddenly a brand-new 2021 BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man named Cliff in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Apple iPhone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany . Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple iPad® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Galaxy S21® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know s**t about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter.

“This is a herd of sheep you i***t…now give me back my dog.”

AND THAT FOLKS IS WHERE OUR PROBLEMS LIE………..

How Many Cows? br br A cowboy named Bud was overs... (show quote)

And add to that lying.

Fredfish Loc: Prospect CT.

padrebino wrote:

How Many Cows?

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture in Texas when suddenly a brand-new 2021 BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man named Cliff in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Apple iPhone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany . Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple iPad® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Galaxy S21® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know s**t about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter.

“This is a herd of sheep you i***t…now give me back my dog.”

AND THAT FOLKS IS WHERE OUR PROBLEMS LIE………..

How Many Cows? br br A cowboy named Bud was overs... (show quote)

Thanks Padre, that was both hilarious, and terrifying. And sadly, probably a lot truer than we think.
But it was funny.

bknecht Loc: Northeast pa

padrebino wrote:

How Many Cows?

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture in Texas when suddenly a brand-new 2021 BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man named Cliff in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Apple iPhone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany . Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple iPad® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Galaxy S21® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know s**t about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter.

“This is a herd of sheep you i***t…now give me back my dog.”

AND THAT FOLKS IS WHERE OUR PROBLEMS LIE………..

How Many Cows? br br A cowboy named Bud was overs... (show quote)

Good one Padre

flyguy Loc: Lake Onalaska, Sunfish Capitol of the World!

padrebino wrote:

How Many Cows?

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture in Texas when suddenly a brand-new 2021 BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man named Cliff in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Apple iPhone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany . Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple iPad® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Galaxy S21® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know s**t about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter.

“This is a herd of sheep you i***t…now give me back my dog.”

AND THAT FOLKS IS WHERE OUR PROBLEMS LIE………..

How Many Cows? br br A cowboy named Bud was overs... (show quote)

Welcome to the Forum, Padre. We're neighbors, for the time being, moving on up to the North Country pretty soon. How did you weather the storm? I'm pretty sure your congressman is either from TX. or MN, they all think alike. The i***ts!

bahmer Loc: Northern Illinois Rockford

padrebino wrote:

How Many Cows?

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture in Texas when suddenly a brand-new 2021 BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man named Cliff in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Apple iPhone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany . Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple iPad® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Galaxy S21® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know s**t about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter.

“This is a herd of sheep you i***t…now give me back my dog.”

AND THAT FOLKS IS WHERE OUR PROBLEMS LIE………..

How Many Cows? br br A cowboy named Bud was overs... (show quote)

Amen and Amen

Frank romero Loc: Clovis, NM

flyguy wrote:

Welcome to the Forum, Padre. We're neighbors, for the time being, moving on up to the North Country pretty soon. How did you weather the storm? I'm pretty sure your congressman is either from TX. or MN, they all think alike. The i***ts!

Love it. I’m from New Mexico and almost all are like that. They tell you do as I say, not, like I do. Don’t get together for us, not for them.

Waterdoglured Loc: DFW Metro, Lake Grapevine

Was his name Ted?

Frank romero Loc: Clovis, NM

Waterdoglured wrote:

Was his name Ted?

Him also. Our democratic gov met with others spent discretionary funds for her groceries . Expensive cuts of beef, salmon steaks, and alcoholic drinks. Jose Cuervo, crown royal to name a few. Great way to spend money when a lot of people are having to struggle with almost everything closed down.

padrebino Loc: BROWNSVILLE, TX / SOUTH PADRE ISLAND, TX

flyguy wrote:

Welcome to the Forum, Padre. We're neighbors, for the time being, moving on up to the North Country pretty soon. How did you weather the storm? I'm pretty sure your congressman is either from TX. or MN, they all think alike. The i***ts!

Good morning FLY. Yes I read the daily posts from you regulars. Funny stuff goes on here, lots of friendly humor. Sorry to hear about your cold stay. SPI will be here and will greet you with open arms on your next visit.

The storm wasn't bad, we prepared ahead of times, just like we do for the hurricane season, have lots of water, canned and dry provisions and tons of candles. Kind of reminded me of the 60's; all we needed was "flowers in our hair" a bit Jefferson Airplane, Momma Cass and Moody Blues. Yes, we made lemon aid out of it.

Electricity was out for 2 nites and part of 2 days. Fortunately the house stayed at around 65 degrees during the outage. Extra clothing were in order and did the trick. At night The wify and I snuggled and all was well.
My winter garden survived; broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, cilantro (for fish tacos), parsley, scallions and peas survived. The string beans, however, took a hit.

Used camp stove (ventilated) to heat up meals and the truck's 110V converter for coffee. All and all it was like going camping and a slight inconvenience