BadFisherman Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

South Dakota...A tough old Badlands rancher once told his grandson that the secret to long life was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did this religiously, and he lived to be 93. When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great-grandchildren … and a 15-foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.

Tennessee...Do you know what you get when you play a country tune backward? You get your job back, your house back, your wife back, your dog back …

Texas...Kinky Friedman, an entertainer and former Texas gubernatorial candidate, explains how to speak Texanese: “Y’all is singular. All y’all is plural. All y’all’s is plural possessive.”

Utah...An elderly Mormon visits his doctor and asks if he’ll live to be a hundred.

“Do you smoke or drink?” asks the doctor.

“Those things have never and will never touch my lips,” says the man.

“Do you gamble, drive fast cars, and fool around with women?”

“Nope, don’t believe in doing any of that, either.”

“Well then,” says the doctor, “what do you want to live to be a hundred for?”

Vermont...What did the guy from Burlington say to the Pillsbury Doughboy? “Hey, nice tan.”

Virginia...In my day, Virginia was for people who were just friends, not lovers.

Washington...In Seattle, you haven’t had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it’s running.—Jeff Bezos

West Virginia...What is the West Virginia state flower? The satellite dish.

Wisconsin...Sven notices his neighbor has a sign in his yard—”Boat for Sale.”

“Ole,” he says, “you don’t own a boat. All you got is your old tractor and your combine.”

“Yup,” said Ole. “And they’re boat for sale.”

Wyoming...Why are cowboys’ hats turned up on the sides? So that three people can fit in the pickup.

Fredfish Loc: Prospect CT.

All 5 editions are good, and very probably true. Thanks for helping us navigate all around the country!

Doug Lemmon Loc: Rochester Mills, PA

These are awesome BF!!

Ne. fisherman Loc: Central Nebraska Arnold

Great ones, BF, I will particularly enjoy negging my Wyoming Son in Law!

PapaJ Loc: South of Greenville, TX. Near Lake Tawakoni

Texas...Kinky Friedman, an entertainer and former Texas gubernatorial candidate, explains how to speak Texanese: “Y’all is singular. All y’all is plural. All y’all’s is plural possessive.”

100% accurate!

Huntm22 Loc: Northern Utah. - West Haven

Cute!

bahmer Loc: Northern Illinois Rockford

Good ones there NF thanks for the laughs.

BadFisherman Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Lighten up, Bahmer. I may be a 'BF', a bad fisherman, but I'm not a 'NF', no fishing man.

bahmer Loc: Northern Illinois Rockford

I didn't even catch that thanks, Sorry about that.

BadFisherman Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Just messin' wit'cha, buddy

bahmer Loc: Northern Illinois Rockford

No problem where's badbobby today?

BadFisherman Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Most likely hangin' with Jack, and probably nodding off somewhere.

Frank romero Loc: Clovis, NM

Looks like spell check got him.

Waterdoglured Loc: DFW Metro, Lake Grapevine

I’m from Texas... “still” is a two syllable word. Pronounced “steee-eeel”. Example: We are “steee-eel” erecting the “steel” on the high rise building.”

I’m in construction. My wife, who’s not from Texas, cracked up when I told her how one of my projects was progressing. Note; “hill”. Is also a two syllable word. 🙂

Big A Loc: Mesa, Arizona

Hmmm ! Looks like I may be learning to speak 'Texan' just by reading these posts ! Good to know, and as good a place as any to learn it before I get there for a visit ! Hopin' all y'all can tolerate
a damned N.H. Yankee in your midst for a brief spell !