State jokes, 2nd edition
Feb 20, 2021 10:56:11 #
BadFisherman
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
Hawaii...What do you call a Hawaiian murder mystery? A Hula-Dunnit.
Idaho...Want to join a militia? Idaho’s your state. Here are some terms to learn:
Commander: Whoever starts the unit.
Second in Command: His best friend.
Auxiliary Commander: His wife.
Captain: New guy.
Militia Headquarters: The basement of whoever has the fax machine.
Squad: Guys in the ambulance who come out when a militia member accidentally shoots himself during training.
Illinois...This is how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, “Gee, I’m enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn’t cold enough.” —Richard Jeni
Indiana...What is the difference between Indiana sports fans and puppies? Eventually, the puppies will grow up and stop whining so much.
Iowa...What do they call 100 John Deeres circling a McDonald’s in Iowa? Prom night.
Kansas...What do a jackknifed semi in Ohio, a guy getting a divorce in Alabama, and a tornado in Kansas have in common? They’re all fixin’ to lose a trailer.
Kentucky...How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky?
If it’d been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
Louisiana...What differentiates a zoo in Louisiana from other zoos? The Louisiana zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe. 
Maine...After surveying property along the New Hampshire and Maine border, some engineers decided the boundaries needed to be changed. So they stopped to tell a farmer that he was no longer in Maine but in New Hampshire. “Good,” said the farmer. “I couldn’t take another one of those Maine winters.”
Maryland...An admiral is standing by a candy machine at the Naval Academy in Annapolis when he stops a plebe walking by. “Sailor, do you have change for a dollar?”
“Sure, buddy,” says the plebe, rooting around his pocket.
“That’s no way to address an officer! Now let’s try it again. Do you have change for a dollar?”
The plebe snaps to attention and barks, “No, sir!”
Idaho...Want to join a militia? Idaho’s your state. Here are some terms to learn:
Commander: Whoever starts the unit.
Second in Command: His best friend.
Auxiliary Commander: His wife.
Captain: New guy.
Militia Headquarters: The basement of whoever has the fax machine.
Squad: Guys in the ambulance who come out when a militia member accidentally shoots himself during training.
Illinois...This is how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, “Gee, I’m enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn’t cold enough.” —Richard Jeni
Indiana...What is the difference between Indiana sports fans and puppies? Eventually, the puppies will grow up and stop whining so much.
Iowa...What do they call 100 John Deeres circling a McDonald’s in Iowa? Prom night.
Kansas...What do a jackknifed semi in Ohio, a guy getting a divorce in Alabama, and a tornado in Kansas have in common? They’re all fixin’ to lose a trailer.
Kentucky...How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky?
If it’d been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
Louisiana...What differentiates a zoo in Louisiana from other zoos? The Louisiana zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe. 
Maine...After surveying property along the New Hampshire and Maine border, some engineers decided the boundaries needed to be changed. So they stopped to tell a farmer that he was no longer in Maine but in New Hampshire. “Good,” said the farmer. “I couldn’t take another one of those Maine winters.”
Maryland...An admiral is standing by a candy machine at the Naval Academy in Annapolis when he stops a plebe walking by. “Sailor, do you have change for a dollar?”
“Sure, buddy,” says the plebe, rooting around his pocket.
“That’s no way to address an officer! Now let’s try it again. Do you have change for a dollar?”
The plebe snaps to attention and barks, “No, sir!”
Feb 20, 2021 11:11:00 #
BadFisherman wrote:
Hawaii...What do you call a Hawaiian murder myster... (show quote)
More good ones BF.
Feb 20, 2021 11:19:53 #
Fredfish wrote:
More good ones BF.
He is on a roll this morning all good.
Feb 20, 2021 13:05:13 #
BadFisherman wrote:
Hawaii...What do you call a Hawaiian murder myster... (show quote)
Louisiana is spot on. 👍👍👍
Feb 20, 2021 16:04:37 #
BadFisherman
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
FourchonLa. wrote:
Louisiana is spot on. 👍👍👍
Don't I know it
In Texas, we have recipes for road-kill...'specially deer and possum. 
Feb 20, 2021 22:06:43 #
BadFisherman wrote:
Don't I know it In Texas, we have recipes for road-kill...'specially deer and possum.
In Texas, we have recipes for road-kill...'specially deer and possum. If I see a deer hit and they don’t stop for it. It’s mine.
Feb 20, 2021 22:19:30 #
FourchonLa. wrote:
If I see a deer hit and they don’t stop for it. It’s mine.
You don't move them in ks. It is a good way to meet the game warden.
Feb 21, 2021 14:03:59 #
Feb 21, 2021 16:19:21 #
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show the possums that it COULD be done!
To show the possums that it COULD be done!
Feb 21, 2021 16:39:29 #
Barnacles wrote:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show the possums that it COULD be done!
To show the possums that it COULD be done!
And in southern Missouri the armadillos.
Feb 21, 2021 16:52:09 #
BadFisherman
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
EasternOZ wrote:
And in southern Missouri the armadillos.
I'm pretty sure that in Texas, we have armadillo road-kill in all 254 counties of the state.
Feb 22, 2021 01:21:42 #
BadFisherman wrote:
Don't I know it In Texas, we have recipes for road-kill...'specially deer and possum.
In Texas, we have recipes for road-kill...'specially deer and possum. Hmmm ! Wasn't possum stew
one of Granny Clampett's best/ favorite recipes also ?
Feb 22, 2021 01:25:12 #
Barnacles wrote:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show the possums that it COULD be done!
To show the possums that it COULD be done!
Ha ! And all this time I thought
it was to avoid the chef !
(Good to know !)
Feb 22, 2021 10:42:33 #
Big A wrote:
Hmmm ! Wasn't possum stew
one of Granny Clampett's best/ favorite recipes also ?
one of Granny Clampett's best/ favorite recipes also ?
Possum gizzards!
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