BadBobby refused entry to Heaven
Feb 17, 2021 11:30:37 #
BadFisherman
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
BadBobby, a poor poker player, but otherwise good man, died and immediately goes to the Heavenly Gates. The Angel at the gate greets him and tells him that he can’t admit him to Heaven.
When BB asks why, the Angel replies, “Well, this is a little embarrassing. You see, looking at your record, for all intents and purposes, you have no sins. All I see looking at page after page is mitzvah after mitzvah [mitzvah = good deed] You have been an exceptional person your whole life, you married a decent woman, your children turned out to be respected members of the community, you’ve always paid your debts on time… nothing but mitzvahs.
Now, other than God, only the Angels have no sins. I obviously can’t send you to Hell, but I can’t admit you to Heaven because you’re a human being and human beings commit sins.”
The Angel thought for a moment and then said, “I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I’m going to send you back to Earth for 24 hours. During that time all you have to do is commit one sin. It doesn’t have to anything drastic, just something that will go on your record as a sin.”
The next thing he knows, BB is standing on the street in front of his home. Approaching him on the street, he notices Mrs. Ludinsky, a 79 year old Jewish widow carrying two large bags of groceries with great difficulty. True to his nature, BB offers to help her carry the groceries home. Then, remembering that he must commit a sin in order to be admitted to Heaven, he grabs Mrs. Ludinsky, the groceries go flying in every direction, and drags her up the stairs to his bedroom. Once inside he proceeds to commit every kind of sexual debauchery he can think of. Several hours later, exhausted, he begins to put his clothes back on.
Sitting up in bed, Mrs. Ludinsky says, “Oy, BB, you have no idea what a mitzvah you’ve just done
”
When BB asks why, the Angel replies, “Well, this is a little embarrassing. You see, looking at your record, for all intents and purposes, you have no sins. All I see looking at page after page is mitzvah after mitzvah [mitzvah = good deed] You have been an exceptional person your whole life, you married a decent woman, your children turned out to be respected members of the community, you’ve always paid your debts on time… nothing but mitzvahs.
Now, other than God, only the Angels have no sins. I obviously can’t send you to Hell, but I can’t admit you to Heaven because you’re a human being and human beings commit sins.”
The Angel thought for a moment and then said, “I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I’m going to send you back to Earth for 24 hours. During that time all you have to do is commit one sin. It doesn’t have to anything drastic, just something that will go on your record as a sin.”
The next thing he knows, BB is standing on the street in front of his home. Approaching him on the street, he notices Mrs. Ludinsky, a 79 year old Jewish widow carrying two large bags of groceries with great difficulty. True to his nature, BB offers to help her carry the groceries home. Then, remembering that he must commit a sin in order to be admitted to Heaven, he grabs Mrs. Ludinsky, the groceries go flying in every direction, and drags her up the stairs to his bedroom. Once inside he proceeds to commit every kind of sexual debauchery he can think of. Several hours later, exhausted, he begins to put his clothes back on.
Sitting up in bed, Mrs. Ludinsky says, “Oy, BB, you have no idea what a mitzvah you’ve just done
”Feb 17, 2021 11:46:41 #
Feb 17, 2021 12:08:08 #
Feb 17, 2021 13:39:34 #
Feb 17, 2021 20:42:05 #
dbed
Loc: POMME DE TERRE LAKE MISSOURI
glad she enjoyed it, hope bb did too bb should make it to heaven sex without marriage is still a sin
Feb 18, 2021 09:09:40 #
bahmer
Loc: Northern Illinois Rockford
BadFisherman wrote:
BadBobby, a poor poker player, but otherwise good ... (show quote)
Now that is a good one thanks for the laughs.
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