ALL VERY TRUE
































Law of Mechanical Repair -




After your hands become coated with grease,




your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to




pee.









Law of Gravity -




Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped,




will roll to the least accessible place in the




universe.









Law of Probability -




The probability of being watched is directly




proportional to the stupidity of your act.









Law of Random Numbers -




If you dial a wrong number, you never get a




busy signal; someone always answers.









Variation Law -




If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one




you were in will always move faster than the




one you are in now.









Law of the Bath -




When the body is fully immersed in water,




the telephone will ring.









Law of Close Encounters -




The probability of meeting someone you know




INCREASES dramatically when you are with




someone you don’t want to be seen with.









Law of the Result -




When you try to prove to someone that




a machine won’t work, IT WILL!!!









Law of Biomechanics -




The severity of the itch is inversely




proportional to the reach.









Law of the Theatre & Football Stadium -




At any event, the people whose seats are




farthest from the aisle, always arrive last.




They are the ones who will leave their seats




several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet




and who leave early before the end of the




performance or the game is over. The folks




in the aisle seats come early, never move




once, have long gangly legs or big bellies




and stay to the bitter end of the performance.




The aisle people also are very surly folk.









The Coffee Law -




As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,




your boss will ask you to do something which




will last until the coffee is cold.









Murphy's Law of Lockers -




If there are only 2 people in a locker room,




they will have adjacent lockers.









Law of Physical Surfaces -




The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich




landing face down on a floor are directly




correlated to the newness and cost of the




carpet or rug









Law of Logical Argument -




Anything is possible IF you don't know




what you are talking about.









Law of Physical Appearance -




If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.









The 50-50-90 Law




Whenever there's a 50-50 chance of getting something




right,




there’s a 90% probability that you'll get it wrong.









Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -




As soon as you find a product that you really




like, they will stop making it OR the store will




stop selling it!









Doctors' Law -




If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go




to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel




better. But don't make an appointment and you'll




stay sick.

ALL VERY TRUE

If you are the only one camping in a big campground, the next camper will park right next to you.






























Law of Mechanical Repair -




After your hands become coated with grease,




your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to




pee.









Law of Gravity -




Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped,




will roll to the least accessible place in the




universe.









Law of Probability -




The probability of being watched is directly




proportional to the stupidity of your act.









Law of Random Numbers -




If you dial a wrong number, you never get a




busy signal; someone always answers.









Variation Law -




If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one




you were in will always move faster than the




one you are in now.









Law of the Bath -




When the body is fully immersed in water,




the telephone will ring.









Law of Close Encounters -




The probability of meeting someone you know




INCREASES dramatically when you are with




someone you don’t want to be seen with.









Law of the Result -




When you try to prove to someone that




a machine won’t work, IT WILL!!!









Law of Biomechanics -




The severity of the itch is inversely




proportional to the reach.









Law of the Theatre & Football Stadium -




At any event, the people whose seats are




farthest from the aisle, always arrive last.




They are the ones who will leave their seats




several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet




and who leave early before the end of the




performance or the game is over. The folks




in the aisle seats come early, never move




once, have long gangly legs or big bellies




and stay to the bitter end of the performance.




The aisle people also are very surly folk.









The Coffee Law -




As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,




your boss will ask you to do something which




will last until the coffee is cold.









Murphy's Law of Lockers -




If there are only 2 people in a locker room,




they will have adjacent lockers.









Law of Physical Surfaces -




The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich




landing face down on a floor are directly




correlated to the newness and cost of the




carpet or rug









Law of Logical Argument -




Anything is possible IF you don't know




what you are talking about.









Law of Physical Appearance -




If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.









The 50-50-90 Law




Whenever there's a 50-50 chance of getting something




right,




there’s a 90% probability that you'll get it wrong.









Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -




As soon as you find a product that you really




like, they will stop making it OR the store will




stop selling it!









Doctors' Law -




If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go




to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel




better. But don't make an appointment and you'll




stay sick.