DC Loc: Washington state

The government has long considered the air around us a public asset which means it belongs to all of us and therefore can and should to be regulated by government agencies. It is for this reason that any air travel can be regulated by the FAA (Federal Aviation Administration), and air quality can be regulated by the EPA (Environmental Protection Agency). But until recently there has been little governmental control on the consumption of this precious resource, But that is about to change. The federal government has proposed a new agency, the ATA (Air Taxation Agency) whose responsibility will be the equitable taxation of the air consumed by both manufacturers and individuals. While the monitoring of consumption is a bit technical in nature basically it will involve monitoring, devises placed on all equipment that use air for combustion such as furnaces, engines and manufacturing equipment that will track and then allow a consumption tax. Spokesman said monitoring consumption on individuals will require everyone to have their weight documented once a year either at a Dr. office or a government monitoring station, and to wear a small wrist or ankle band that will monitor respiration rate and track it through out the year. At the end of the year using a consumption formula that takes into account the person’s weight and respiration rate an air consumption tax will be added to their Federal income tax. The funds generated will off set the cost of this new taxation agency and fund a new government think tank to come up with new ideas for future taxation and fees.

Disclaimer: For those who may be satire humor impaired.. This is satire which means I made it up trying to be funny but don't mention it to any one in government or they may think it is a good idea

ripogenu Loc: norfolk, MA

DC
loved this one! of course it will generate a new agency and an argument internally in the cabinet as to who has control of the funds. My guess is the Dept of natural resources will duke it out with the Dept of the interior, at which point the Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms will add Air to their name and become AFAT! KH will immediately propose an executive order giving the VP exclusive control.

hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas

DC, you have an evil, evil mind.😈 I sure hope this DOES NOT get out. I noticed it didn’t mention anything about Methane Gas being taxed, but maybe no agent wants to get down there to hook up an instrument.💩 😂
Hack 🇺🇸🍺🍺

Larry M Loc: North Clairmount, San Diego

Hack, I was thinking the same thing.
For those that don’t pass that much gas there would be a f**gellants tax credit that you could sell to others who go over their allowable f**gellant limits.
They could set it up like the carbon tax credits.
I’m sure that they would go for it,
Department of F**gellants.

hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas

All I know Larry is great minds think alike. We could make millions on a flatulence tax, although our government agency is full of it and would probably tax us for the flatulence tax. We may be talking out of our a$$e$.🤷🏻‍♂️
Hack 🇺🇸🍺🍺

Larry M Loc: North Clairmount, San Diego

It was worth a shot. lol.

DC Loc: Washington state

funny hacksaw I think you are correct right after they put the monitors on cattle

DC Loc: Washington state

of course there will be mathane off sets you could buy not sure what that would be but I'm sure it would be a money maker like the carbon offsets where you buy trees

plumbob Loc: New Windsor Maryland

No worries guys. Joe promises 100 million ankle bracelets in 100 days. We all see how that is going.

Smokypig Loc: Cheyenne, wyoming

Burping cows and barking spiders! Holy Toledo, what is next?

GSMJr Loc: SoCal> Pflugerville (Austin), TX

Good start DC and the follow up from Larry M., the flatulence tax, hmmm ....

The government may extend this thinking to a “blinking tax” for those who blink more than once a minute.

Larry M Loc: North Clairmount, San Diego

Here’s what the Beatles said back in the 60s.

Jeremy Loc: America

That's funny. Thanks for trying t make us laugh. I love a good imagination.

Jeremy Loc: America

I haven't had the time PB. What are the bracelets for all the dips**ts that raided the Capital in there Make America BEEEP Again hats. I just haven't heard about locating devices or wh**ever they are. Hopefully he isn't going to put them on all the Fishingstage people

If he is the BOSS its ok. The pendulum is never stopped. It will tell time for eternity. I haven't sat and watched or listened to TV much for quite awhile. I am just glad we don't hear F**E NEWS everyday anymore and especially on Twitter.