some more jokes
Jan 23, 2021 13:25:03 #
There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, “Wow, these seats are big!” The person next to him answered, “Everything is bigger in Texas.”
When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, “Wow these mugs are big!” The bartender replied, “Everything is bigger in Texas.”
After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, “Second door to the right.” The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident.
Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, “Don’t flush, don’t flush!”
Why do husbands die before their wives? They want to.
Childs experience: if a mother is laughing at the fathers jokes, it means they have guests.
My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof.
I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn’t talking to me.
A man goes in for an interview for a job as a TV news broadcaster. The interview went quite well but the trouble was he kept winking and stammering.
The interviewer said, “Although you have a lot of the qualities we’re looking for, the fact that you keep winking and stammering disqualifies you.”
“Oh, that’s no problem,” said the man. “If I take a couple of aspirin I stop winking and stammering for an hour.”
“Show me,” said the interviewer.
So the man reached into his pocket. Embarrassingly he pulled out a variety of condoms before he found the packet of aspirin. He took the aspirin and soon talked perfectly and stopped winking.
The interviewer said, “That’s amazing, but I don’t think we could employ someone who’d be womanizing all over the country.”
“Excuse me!” exclaimed the man. “I’m a happily married man, not a womanizer!”
“Well how do you explain all the condoms, then?” asked the interviewer.
The man replied, “Have you ever gone into a pharmacy, stammering and winking, and asked for a packet of aspirin?”
When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, “Wow these mugs are big!” The bartender replied, “Everything is bigger in Texas.”
After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, “Second door to the right.” The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident.
Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, “Don’t flush, don’t flush!”
Why do husbands die before their wives? They want to.
Childs experience: if a mother is laughing at the fathers jokes, it means they have guests.
My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof.
I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn’t talking to me.
A man goes in for an interview for a job as a TV news broadcaster. The interview went quite well but the trouble was he kept winking and stammering.
The interviewer said, “Although you have a lot of the qualities we’re looking for, the fact that you keep winking and stammering disqualifies you.”
“Oh, that’s no problem,” said the man. “If I take a couple of aspirin I stop winking and stammering for an hour.”
“Show me,” said the interviewer.
So the man reached into his pocket. Embarrassingly he pulled out a variety of condoms before he found the packet of aspirin. He took the aspirin and soon talked perfectly and stopped winking.
The interviewer said, “That’s amazing, but I don’t think we could employ someone who’d be womanizing all over the country.”
“Excuse me!” exclaimed the man. “I’m a happily married man, not a womanizer!”
“Well how do you explain all the condoms, then?” asked the interviewer.
The man replied, “Have you ever gone into a pharmacy, stammering and winking, and asked for a packet of aspirin?”
Jan 23, 2021 14:09:10 #
Ronniejw wrote:
There once was a blind man who decided to visit Te... (show quote)
that last one's a zinger
Jan 23, 2021 14:39:35 #
Ronniejw wrote:
There once was a blind man who decided to visit Te... (show quote)
Good laughs Ronnie!
Jan 23, 2021 15:14:11 #
Fredfish wrote:
Good laughs Ronnie!
Was home early from hunting so put them up. Missed my chance at a buck, think my sights got bumped, should have hit him at 60 yards, I hope he comes back before season is over next week
Jan 23, 2021 15:31:20 #
Ronniejw wrote:
Was home early from hunting so put them up. Missed my chance at a buck, think my sights got bumped, should have hit him at 60 yards, I hope he comes back before season is over next week
Dial her back in Ronnie, that buck may reappear
Thanks for the jokes.
Jan 23, 2021 15:36:56 #
OJdidit wrote:
Dial her back in Ronnie, that buck may reappear
Thanks for the jokes.
Thanks for the jokes.
Rain coming for 2 days then will be back out Tuesday, take my other rifle, its sighted in. He had a nice rack too, a high 8 point
Jan 23, 2021 19:21:25 #
If you want to reply, then register here. Registration is free and your account is created instantly, so you can post right away.