badbobby Loc: Humble Texas

For years and years they told me,

Be careful of your breasts.

Dont ever squeeze or bruise them,

And give them monthly test.



So, I heeded all their warnings,

And protected them by law.

Guarded them very carefully,

And I always wore my bra.



After 30 years of astute care,

My gyno, Dr. Pruitt

Said I should get a Mammogram.

O.K. I said lets do it.



Stand up here real close she said,

(She got my boob in line),

And tell me when it hurts, she said,

Ah yes! Right there, thats fine.



She stepped upon a pedal,

I could not believe my eyes!

A plastic plate came slamming down,

My hooters in a vise!



My skin was stretched and mangled,

From underneath my chin.

My poor boob was being squashed,

To Swedish pancake thin.



Excruciating pain I felt,

Within its vise-like grip.

A prisoner in this vicious thing,

My poor defenseless tit!



Take a deep breath she said to me,

Who does she think she's kidding?!?

My chest is mashed in her machine,

And woozy I am getting.



There, thats good I heard her say,

(The room was slowly swaying.)

Now, lets have a go at the other one.

Have mercy, I am praying.



It squeezed me from both up and down,

It Squeezed me from both sides.

Ill bet SHES never had this done

To HER tender little hide.



Next time that they make me do this,

I will request a blindfold.

I have no wish to see again,

My knockers getting steamrolled.



If I had no problem when I came in,

I surely have one now.

If there had been a cyst in there,

It would have gone ker-pow!



This machine was created by a man,

Of this I have no doubt.

Id like to stick his balls in there,

And see how THEY come out

Spiritof27 Loc: Lincoln, CA

Mrs spirit will appreciate this. Having attained the age of 72 she has endured this procedure more than a few times, and being fairly well endowed, she has not enjoyed it.

bahmer Loc: Northern Illinois Rockford

Good one badbobby

Barnacles Loc: Northern California

Mrs. Barnacles is a tiny little thing, but she was a double-D and the boob-O-gram was a really serious ordeal for her. She hasn't had one for years now, she had them removed after a cancer.

It hasn't changed anything in our love life. Having no boobs to access is just about the same as having boobs with no access to them.