badbobby Loc: Humble Texas

You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where

1. You are willing to park three blocks away from your house because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for four hours in one direction and never leave town
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door at 500 degrees.

6. The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME?



OR:



You can retire to California where...
1. You can make over $450,000/yr. and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

5. The four seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud and Drought.



OR:



You can retire to New York City where...
1 You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisonsin on a map.

3. You think Central Park is "nature."
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn. (IF you have a car.)
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression



OR:



You can retire to Wisconsin where...
1. You only have three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.
2. Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas.
3. You have seventeen recipes for casserole.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair.
6. The highest level of criticism is "He is different," "She is different," or "It was different!"



OR:



You can retire to The Deep South where...

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2 "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has two first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Joe Bob, Betty Jean, etc..
5. Everything is either: "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder. "

6. You can say anything about anyone, as long as you say "Bless his heart" at the end!



OR:



You can move to Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, so he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.



OR:



You can retire to Nebraska or Kansas where...
1. You never meet any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is three cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition; "Where's my coat at?"

OR:



FINALLY.....you can retire to Florida where...

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind - even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent cardiologist, dermatologist, proctologist,

podiatrist, or orthopedist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.



OR:

NEW JERSEY.....No that's not right. No body in their right mind retires and moves to New Jersey.....You retire in New Jersey and move the hell out.....

Jeremy Loc: America

Good one bb. I don't understand why people move or retire in AZ. Cheap...not electricity to run Air Conditioner.

I wont be selling everything just to go buy it all somewhere else and not know where fish are or anyone.

OJdidit Loc: Oak Creek Wisconsin

There is always hope as I only missed winning the lottery by 6 numbers last time...

Fredfish Loc: Prospect CT.

That was great BB,, Thanks!

FixorFish Loc: SW Oregon

👍👍.....and those are but a few of the many reasons I choose to live in Oregon !

I grew up in Kansas, so obviously those ring true, (although you forgot #5...you can stand in your pickup bed and count the entire herd on this quarter-section (160 acres) of the pasture !).....and 20 or so years ago, my brother, who lived in Thousand Oaks, Ca. at the time, was overjoyed about his new workplace.....it cut his daily commute to "far less now... less than an hour each way !"...yuck !

I'm staying put in Oregon, thanks.

E.pa.al Loc: Martin's Creek

good one bb
Lmao

bknecht Loc: Northeast pa

I pick Wisconsin, Nebraska or Kansas. Damn funny BB

FinFisherman Loc: Born in Ohio - 40 yrs Florida- Clearwater,Fl

I guess if you live in Portland you'll have a hard time finding a better place to retire.

badbobby Loc: Humble Texas

wow
that close huh?

flyguy Loc: Lake Onalaska, Sunfish Capitol of the World!

You have them pretty well pegged, bb. How does 6 months in MN. and 6 months in South TX. sound?

badbobby Loc: Humble Texas

dunno bout that yankee land

DC Loc: Washington state

Portland? Portland Oregon??? haven't they burnt that place down yet with all their peaceful demonstrations? or Were you referring to Portland Main?

Catfish hunter Loc: Riggins idaho (Paradise)

If you don’t mind giving the sate all of your retirement money in taxes Oregon is the place to retire.

FixorFish Loc: SW Oregon

Already did...for 36+ years... OTHER END OF THE STATE, south.... very much a better place, imo, the Rogue Valley. Better weather, far fewer people.. so less crowded boat ramps and shorelines.
Don't own a snow shovel...no need down in the valley, but can click in my bindings on the slopes as little as 35 minutes on a dry pavement "bluebird day", in my drift boat fishing on one of our stellar rivers, the Rogue in roughly an hour, depending on how far down I put in. "50+ places to fish within an hour of Medford".....an actual publication distributed by ODFW !

Like I said... I'm staying put for my home base, thanks.

DC Loc: Washington state

yes the south and south west part of Oregon would be a nice place to retire but don't tell anyone or you might be over run with people. But it is a really pretty part of the state with all sorts of fishing