Ronniejw Loc: West Point MS

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley, when he spotted a world-famous heart surgeon in his shop. The heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, “Hey Doc can I ask you a question?”

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, “So Doc, look at this engine. I also can open hearts, take valves out, fix’em, put in new parts and when I finish this will work just like a new one. So how come I get a pittance and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?”

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic… “Try doing it with the engine running!”


A housewife with three young children was getting dinner ready when the phone rang. The six-year-old picked it up and said, “Hi, Daddy!” and she began telling him about her day.

She then passed the phone to her brother and sister as was the custom whenever Daddy called from work.

When it was finally the wife’s turn to talk she took the receiver and said, “Hi, honey.”

“Thank goodness, lady,” the voice on the other end replied. “I just called to tell you that the wallpaper you ordered is here!”



A new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established hair cutters’ place. They put up a big bold sign which read:

“WE GIVE SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!”

Not to be outdone, the old Master Barber put up his own sign:

“WE FIX SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS”



In a small town there were three churches. Recently, the grounds had become overrun with squirrels. The three churches (Methodist, Presbyterian, and Catholic) decided to hold a small meeting regarding what they could do to get rid of the squirrels.

The Methodists show up and say “We’ve thought about it and if the grounds are housing squirrels, it must be God’s will so we’ve decided to just let them stay and not worry about it.”

The Presbytarians arrive and announce that they couldn’t bear to harm one of God’s creatures so a week ago they humanely captured them and set them free in a wooded area. “But” they state, “The squirrels have since returned.”

The spokesperson for the Catholic church stands up. “We came up with an excellent solution.”

Everyone stares at the Catholic questioningly. “We baptised and confirmed the squirrels and now we only see them on Christmas and Easter.”

Graywulff Loc: Cortez,Co.

All good again Ronnie, you got the Catholics pegged.......just sayin'

Gordon Loc: Charleston South Carolina

More good ones Ronnie.

BadFisherman Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Some good 'uns there, Ronnie.

Fredfish Loc: Prospect CT.

Good ones Ronnie, even to a Catholic!

Egghead

Lol, I'm Catholic, but not a church goer. I'm oilfield, and a fisherman there for I cuss alot and lie.😎😜

Graywulff Loc: Cortez,Co.

Must be the oilfield work that brings the lies on Egg, certainly not the fisherman in ya......

kandydisbar Loc: West Orange, NJ

When they went to the synagogue the first was circumsised and none ever came back!!!

Ronniejw Loc: West Point MS

They didnt want to admit that.

FixorFish Loc: SW Oregon

My Dad was a Methodist minister, and when asked how large his congregation was, he would reply..."well, the rolls show a figure, but of course, that includes a large number of "C & E members".... easily half, unfortunately."

harleypiker Loc: WA

The liberals built a new church across the street from the mainline Baptist church. To entice new members, their new reader board announced "Next week's sermon, Their Ain't No Hell"!
The Baptist's were incensed and quickly put up their own reader board. Next week's sermon, "The Hell There Ain't"!

BadFisherman Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas

Graffiti seen years ago by me on a men's restroom wall:

"God is dead...Friedrich Nietzsche"... & just beneath it: "Nietzsche is dead...GOD."