Kerry Hansen Loc: Bremerton, WA

These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?" (MY FAVORITE)

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center )

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.. Sign here

EasternOZ Loc: Kansas City Metro

Ouch.

Huntm22 Loc: Northern Utah. - West Haven

Some good ones!!

flyguy Loc: Lake Onalaska, Sunfish Capitol of the World!

Thanks for sharing, Kerry

Iowa Farmer Loc: Iowa City Iowa

Good ones!

Egghead

Lol thems all good. Thanks Kerry

stuco Loc: Northern Utah - Salt Lake City

Thanks four the laughs Kerry!

Jeremy Loc: America

The last one is proof why her rear view mirror was broken.

OJdidit Loc: Oak Creek Wisconsin

Great lines, thanks for sharing. Another under appreciated job I wouldn’t want. I can’t imagine what my Cop and Sheriff buddies go through on a daily basis.

plumbob Loc: New Windsor Maryland

Okay Smokypig lets here what you got.

Thanks Kerry been on the other end of the ticket a time or two. No excuse ever works.

Fish Dancer Loc: Guntersville, Alabama

When I was young and dumb I had a police officer pull me over. He asked me if I was trying to out run him. I said No sir, if I’d been trying I’d have done it. Then he asked me, So if I let you go you could go home and get a good night sleep with a clear conscience? I told him I would sleep a lot better without a speeding ticket in my wallet. He laughed and told me to take it easy and let me go. He must have got a little the night before. Lol

Kerry Hansen Loc: Bremerton, WA

A Good Guy

GSMJr Loc: SoCal> Pflugerville (Austin), TX

Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you - coolfunnyquotes.com

Salty Chief Loc: Niceville, FL

My daughter asked for a warning. LOL
Cop told her..."young lady, we posted a warning for you every 1/2 mile, but you ignored them". Sign here. AWESOME!!!

lipsticker Loc: Hartford Wisconsin

Watched my Ex Father-in-law, A local cop get a speeding ticket from the State patrol.. Priceless!