hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Old age is coming at a really bad time.

When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is ”I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

I don’t have grey hair. I have "wisdom highlights." I’m just very wise.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.

Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

At my age “Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

Actually I'm not complaining because I am a Senager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later.

The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant.

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t remember their names.

Now, I’m wondering.... Did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?

Lee626 Loc: Brick NJ [ near the Jersey shore ]

Now thats a good one Hack so true

hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas

Who’s Hack? Do I know you? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Hack 🇺🇸🍺🍺

PapaJ Loc: South of Greenville, TX. Near Lake Tawakoni

Exactly...

JerryT

You hit the nail on the head with this !!!!

hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas

Bingo!
Hack 🇺🇸🍺🍺

hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas

Thanks Jerry. Do I know you? What nail? What Head?🤔🤔🤔🤔
Hack 🇺🇸🍺🍺

plumbob Loc: New Windsor Maryland

A lot of relations going on here Hack. I relate to this one, that one, the other one. Oh heck they are all checked.

flyguy Loc: Lake Onalaska, Sunfish Capitol of the World!

You were on a roll, Hack, thanks for sharing.

hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas

Same here PB. Unfortunately.
Hack 🇺🇸🍺🍺

FixorFish Loc: SW Oregon

Loved the "Senager" tag..... rationalized that last Christmas, when I bought 2 huge tubs of barely used HO Slotcars and track(125'+ !) plus "up the wall hairpin section" !

Parents (when I asked for Slotcars when I was 12yrs old)and ex-wives, (both parents long gone, as are the 2 ex's) thought it was a "childish waste of time, fiddling with toys like that".....oh yeah ?.....bet they would say/think different if they saw my layout ! They'd be begging for a turn with a controller and wanting to know which car is the fastest (or in the case of my second ex,.... "ooooo, that one is pretty, is it fast ?...lol)

Huntm22 Loc: Northern Utah. - West Haven

Good ones Hack.

Larry M Loc: North Clairmount, San Diego

Good ones Hack.
I especially like the "press one for English."

GaryH Loc: Northern Pa.

Could I super size that order please.. Wait I'm sorry. Good one Hack..

hacksaw Loc: Pasadena, Texas

You betcha flyguy. Love to make y’all smile. 😊
Hack 🇺🇸🍺🍺