mikefain Loc: Columbia R, PDX/Vancouver

• The ultimate conundrum: *Don’t know whether to jump into the shark tank or go bowling*
• He’s as confused as a blind man at a silent movie
• He looks terrible – like 10 miles of bad road
• I’m on it – like white on rice
• Don’t embarrass me - act like you’ve been to town before
• He’s busier than a one-legged man in a butt kicking contest
• He’s busier than a one-armed paper hanger with jock itch
• He’s as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs
• I’m hanging in there – like a persistent hair in a biscuit
• I was born at night – but not last night
• She’s madder than a cat getting baptized
• Herding cattle is a lot easier than trying to herd cats
• He ain’t got the good sense that God gave a rock
• That’s as useless as a screen door on a submarine
• Don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining
• Stick it where the sun don’t shine
• He knows as much about fishing as a pig knows about Sunday
• You shouldn’t be hunting anything smarter than you. You should be hunting worms.
• That makes as much sense as hub caps on a tractor
• Get away from that wheel barrow Fred – you don’t know nothing ‘bout machinery
• You wanna drive? You? You couldn’t drive a hammer up a dog’s ass !
• He is living proof that you can’t fit 100 lb. of manure in a 50 lb. sack
• Heavy rain today. It will sound like several cows pissing on a flat rock
• I was so poor that I had a tumble weed as a pet
• I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention
• If you don’t behave, Pops will counsel you severely about the head & shoulders
• Many people are wondering how some members of congress were able to find their way out of the birth
canal.
• Hurry up man, launch the damn boat. We’ve got dollars waitin’ on dimes here.
• When they outlaw cats, only outlaws will have cats. Same with guns
• I’m as bored as an Amish electrician

Huntm22 Loc: Northern Utah. - West Haven

Some thoughts to ponder!

EasternOZ Loc: Kansas City Metro

Amen

LOL

Flytier Loc: Wilmington Delaware

Good ones all

Robert J Samples Loc: Round Rock, Texas

Wow! Dont' know whether to scratch my head or my...! Just Sayin...RJS.

badbobby Loc: Humble Texas

I'll save these for comebacks to BF mike
(with your permission of course)
like the screen door on a sub

EasternOZ Loc: Kansas City Metro

Don't they have skylights

Robert J Samples Loc: Round Rock, Texas

Only the Spanish Navy has glass bottoms, so they can view the old navy. Just Sayin...RJS

Bev

nervous as a blind queer at a wiener roast

mikefain Loc: Columbia R, PDX/Vancouver

Don't know OZ. I was toting a rifle on terra firma while the squids were hiding out of sight. Lurking.
Mike

mikefain Loc: Columbia R, PDX/Vancouver

Permission granted. Sir !!

BamaMike Loc: Alabama

He is so dumb he couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with the directions on the heel.

Here comes Johnny wide open as a case knife.

How are you doing? I’ve been better but I got over it.

Junior Samples, That chilli was so good I put a spoonful on my head and my tongue like to have beat my brains out licking it off.

mikefain Loc: Columbia R, PDX/Vancouver

Hey Bama - I think I can use these. Thanks