Letter from Momma
Oct 1, 2020 16:06:37 #
BadFisherman
Loc: Lake Whitney, Texas
The following was received by BB from his Mom years ago when he left home. It was kept for sentimental reasons.
Dearest redneck son,
I'm writin this slow cause I know you caint read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home.
Yore ol dad read in the paper that most accidents happen in twenty miles of your home, so we moved.
I caint send you an address cause the last fambly that lived here took the house numbers with them when they moved.
This place is really nice. It even has a washin machine.
i'm not sure just how to work it. i put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain and I aint seen em since.
the weather aint bad here. It only rained twice last week;
the first time for three days and the secon time for four days.
About that coat you wanted me to send you; yore uncle Billy Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put em in the pockets.
Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried cause it took two hours to get me an yore ol pa out.
Your sister had a baby this morning, but I aint found out what it is yet so I dunno if you are an Aunt or an Uncle.
Yore Uncle Bobby ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and finally drowned.
WE had him cremated and he burnt for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck.
Butch was driving, he rolled down a window and swam to safety. Yore other two friends were riding in the back and drowned.
They couldn't get the tail gate open.
There aint no more news, nothin much out of the normal has happened.
Yore favorite Aunt,
Momma
Dearest redneck son,
I'm writin this slow cause I know you caint read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home.
Yore ol dad read in the paper that most accidents happen in twenty miles of your home, so we moved.
I caint send you an address cause the last fambly that lived here took the house numbers with them when they moved.
This place is really nice. It even has a washin machine.
i'm not sure just how to work it. i put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain and I aint seen em since.
the weather aint bad here. It only rained twice last week;
the first time for three days and the secon time for four days.
About that coat you wanted me to send you; yore uncle Billy Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put em in the pockets.
Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried cause it took two hours to get me an yore ol pa out.
Your sister had a baby this morning, but I aint found out what it is yet so I dunno if you are an Aunt or an Uncle.
Yore Uncle Bobby ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and finally drowned.
WE had him cremated and he burnt for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck.
Butch was driving, he rolled down a window and swam to safety. Yore other two friends were riding in the back and drowned.
They couldn't get the tail gate open.
There aint no more news, nothin much out of the normal has happened.
Yore favorite Aunt,
Momma
Oct 1, 2020 16:14:58 #
Oct 1, 2020 16:16:18 #
Oct 1, 2020 18:06:38 #
1old timer wrote:
Boy what a sad letter!
Sad but true.
Oct 1, 2020 19:06:10 #
So sad - sorry for your misfortune. Take two alka-seltzer and down a pint bottle of gin and you will forget about it for a while.
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