Ronniejw Loc: West Point MS

A father is explaining ethics to his son, who is about to go into business…

“Suppose a woman comes in and orders a hundred dollars worth of material. You wrap it up, and you give it to her. She pays you with a $100 bill. But as she goes out the door you realize she’s given you two $100 bills. Now, here’s where the ethics come in: should you or should you not tell your partner?





Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.

The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking: “What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?”
Tom says: “I would switch one train to another track.”

“What if the lever broke?” asks the inspector.

“Then I’d run down to the tracks and use the manual lever down there,” answers Tom.

“What if that had been struck by lightning?” challenges the inspector.

“Then,” Tom continued, “I’d run back up here and use the phone to call the next signal box.”

“What if the phone was busy?”

“In that case,” Tom argued, “I’d run to the street level and use the public phone near the station.”

“What if that had been vandalized?”

“Oh well,” said Tom, “in that case I would run into town and get my Uncle Leo.

This puzzled the inspector, so he asked “Why would you do that?”

“Because he’s never seen a train crash.”

Ronniejw Loc: West Point MS

-How do you starve a socialist?
You hide their food stamps under their work boots.


An illegal immigrant is sitting in the street in San Francisco, complaining about life, when suddenly, a genie appears.
"I'm a socialist genie," he says, "and I'm here to grant you three wishes." The illegal immigrant says, "You see this gap in my teeth? I want it fixed."
No sooner does he say that when he gets a copy of a new law saying all illegal immigrants in America will get free health and dental care for life.
And so, he runs to the dentist and gets his teeth fixed. He is ecstatic and says "I want a fully furnished house and endless money."
No sooner does he say this, that a new law is passed guaranteeing all illegal immigrants get a fully furnished new home and welfare for life.
And in his hands are a deed to his new home and lots of money. The illegal immigrant is stunned.
He had gotten everything he wanted and still had a wish left.
So, he said, "I want to be an American citizen. In fact, I want to be named Peter."
And as soon as he said that, his teeth went back to having a gap and his government house disappeared.
"What happened?!" the illegal immigrant yelled. "What do you mean, 'what happened'?" replied the genie.
"You're an American citizen now. You should be ashamed trying to live off of government money. Go get a job, Peter!"

badbobby Loc: Humble Texas

Luv it

badbobby Loc: Humble Texas

the Attic is ready to accept you
Ronnie
political no no

Buffalohunter Loc: Florida

Yea, sounds about right!

bahmer Loc: Northern Illinois Rockford

Amen and Amen spot on.

Westcoaster Loc: Fairfield, CA.

His next question would be " what's a job"

Ben Bragg Loc: Dayton Ohio

Two friends were headed out fishing one morning.
While idling in the no wake zone one friend realized he’d left his cigarette lighter in the truck.
Hey do you have a lighter on board? He asked.
The other guy said “ sure there is one in my tackle box.”
Reaching into the tackle box, he retrieved an enormous lighter. “Wow this lighter is huge!! Where did you get it?
“My genie gave it to me” the friend replied
“Genie”
“ Sure, he is in that empty bottle under your seat . Check him out”
The friend found the bottle and opened the top. Suddenly a genie appears in the boat and says “ I will grant you one wish”
The astonished friend exclaimed “ I wish I had a million bucks”
Suddenly the sky darkened and a million ducks started splashing into the water warming around the boat!
Bewildered the friend said” that’s amazing but I think your genie has a hearing problem. I asked for a million bucks, not ducks.”
His friend smirked and said “ tell me about it. You think I wished for an eleven inch BICK”

Robert J Samples Loc: Round Rock, Texas

That genie had a hearing problem, or those guys did not speak clearly. Just Sayin...RJS

Jeremy Loc: America

Maybe he had 4 foot long 6 inch around Cigars to light.

E.pa.al Loc: Martin's Creek

👍👍

Huntm22 Loc: Northern Utah. - West Haven

So true.

Robert J Samples Loc: Round Rock, Texas

At this stage of my life, even if i don't smoke a 7 inch Bic Lighter would be my choice. Just Sayin...RJJS

Ben Bragg Loc: Dayton Ohio

I hear ya

Ronniejw Loc: West Point MS

[q1uote=Ben Bragg]I hear ya[/quote
Few more