EasternOZ Loc: Kansas City Metro

These
glorious insults are from an era “ before” the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

















A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir,
you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”


"That depends, Sir, " said
Disraeli, "whether
I embrace your policies or your mistress."






"He had delusions of adequacy ."


-Walter Kerr






"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."


- Winston Churchill






"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."


-Clarence Darrow






"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."


-William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)






"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."


-Moses Hadas






"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."


-Mark Twain






"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."


-Oscar Wilde






"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one."


-George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill






"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."


-Winston Churchill, in response






"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."


-Stephen Bishop






"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."


-John Bright






"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."


-Irvin S. Cobb






"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."


-Samuel Johnson






"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."


- Paul Keating






"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."


-Charles, Count Talleyrand






"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."


-Forrest Tucker






"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"


-Mark Twain






"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."


-Mae West






"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."


-Oscar Wilde






"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."


-Andrew Lang (1844-1912)






"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."


-Billy Wilder






"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I'm afraid this wasn't it."


-Groucho Marx

FourchonLa. Loc: Fourchon Louisiana, South Louisiana

Those are classic. It sure puts the tort in retort.

Dadeaux Loc: Florida Panhandle

Thanks...those are classic & clever oh forgot to mention...non PC...

flyguy Loc: Lake Onalaska, Sunfish Capitol of the World!

Good ones, OZ.

Smokypig Loc: Cheyenne, wyoming

My kind of stuff.

He was made in the image of God, but is no danger of being mistaken for him.

DoryMan Loc: Southern Maine

Excellent stuff there. Wish I could remember any when apropos.

Smokypig Loc: Cheyenne, wyoming

He resigned his job, effective Monday P.M.
We had a grand "going away" party. On Tuesday.

mr.sleeve Loc: Anaheim Hills

Truly classic, and a lost art...most likely would fall on deaf ears if spoken today, and would probably would hasten a “huh??” response

Barnacles Loc: Northern California

I've come up with some scathing comebacks and witty put-downs
....usually two or three days too late.

Smokypig Loc: Cheyenne, wyoming

Don't you hate it when the best you can come up with is: "Oh Yeah?"

ghaynes1 Loc: Strawberry Plains, TN

He was so ugly when he was born, the doctor slapped his mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

FourchonLa. Loc: Fourchon Louisiana, South Louisiana

He was good. He was in another post recently and BF posted some clips from a couple of his movies.