Some Humor for Today
Sep 3, 2020 02:12:52 #
mikefain
Loc: Columbia R, PDX/Vancouver
The Donkey
Young Doyle moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.” Doylee replied, “Well, then just give me my money back.” The farmer said, “Can't do that. I went and spent it already.” Doyle said, “OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.” The farmer asked, “What ya gonna do with him?” Doyle said, “I'm going to raffle him off.” The farmer said “You can't raffle off a dead donkey!” Doyle said, “Sure I can, watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.” A month later, the farmer met up with Doyle and asked, “What happened with the dead donkey?” Doyle said, “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.00.” The farmer said, “Didn't anyone complain?” Doyle said, “Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.”
That Doyle guy !! As my grandpappy would say, “Doyle’s squattin’ in tall cotton”.
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Help Wanted – Lion Tamer
A circus owner runs an ad for “Lion Tamer Wanted” and two people showed up.
One is a retired fisherman in his late-sixties and the other is a drop-dead, gorgeous brunette with a killer body in her mid-twenties.
The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment - a chair, a whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?" The gorgeous brunette says, "I'll go first.”
She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. As he gets close, the gorgeous brunette throws open her coat revealing her beautiful, perfect naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss every inch of her body for several minutes, then lays down and rests his head at her feet.
The circus owner's jaw is on the floor! He says, "That's amazing! I've never seen anything like that in my life!"
He then turns to the retired fisherman and asks, "Can you top that?”
The old fisherman replies, "Possibly ... but you've got to get that lion out of there first."
Young Doyle moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.” Doylee replied, “Well, then just give me my money back.” The farmer said, “Can't do that. I went and spent it already.” Doyle said, “OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.” The farmer asked, “What ya gonna do with him?” Doyle said, “I'm going to raffle him off.” The farmer said “You can't raffle off a dead donkey!” Doyle said, “Sure I can, watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.” A month later, the farmer met up with Doyle and asked, “What happened with the dead donkey?” Doyle said, “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.00.” The farmer said, “Didn't anyone complain?” Doyle said, “Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.”
That Doyle guy !! As my grandpappy would say, “Doyle’s squattin’ in tall cotton”.
******************************************************************
Help Wanted – Lion Tamer
A circus owner runs an ad for “Lion Tamer Wanted” and two people showed up.
One is a retired fisherman in his late-sixties and the other is a drop-dead, gorgeous brunette with a killer body in her mid-twenties.
The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment - a chair, a whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?" The gorgeous brunette says, "I'll go first.”
She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. As he gets close, the gorgeous brunette throws open her coat revealing her beautiful, perfect naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss every inch of her body for several minutes, then lays down and rests his head at her feet.
The circus owner's jaw is on the floor! He says, "That's amazing! I've never seen anything like that in my life!"
He then turns to the retired fisherman and asks, "Can you top that?”
The old fisherman replies, "Possibly ... but you've got to get that lion out of there first."
Sep 4, 2020 10:09:41 #
Sep 4, 2020 10:25:21 #
Sep 4, 2020 14:38:23 #
mfain1269 wrote:
The Donkey br br Young Doyle moved to Texas and... (show quote)
You have studied Doyle well.
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